Chapter 6: To See You One Last Time
And so, after school, I head to the convenience store near Satsuki's house, our meeting place.
(Now that I think about it, a place with people around might be... nah, that's rude of me.)
Feeling a bit annoyed, Satsuki arrives five minutes late as planned.
She's holding something, but I can't see it clearly in the evening light.
Satsuki, looking annoyed, says,
"Phew, I'm not in the mood for this, but it's better to get it over with quickly, right?"
"..."
From the last two conversations, I've realized she's no longer the Satsuki I once knew.
She's become prettier, sexier, but she's not the Satsuki I knew—or thought I knew.
My goal is to express the little gratitude I still feel and, if possible, to cut ties completely. Just these two things.
She might say something hurtful again, but she must have called me out because she's willing to talk, right?
If possible, I don't want things to end like they did before; I want to part on slightly better terms.
There's tension between us.
Satsuki is staring at me. I can't look at her face...
...Isn't this weird? I haven't done anything to be ashamed of!
Hold your head high! Look her in the eye!
Breaking up with my first girlfriend—can I really end it without even looking at her?!
Honestly, I'm starting to feel so uneasy around Satsuki that it's almost traumatic.
I want to run away! That's the truth.
At times like this, I think of my best friend.
Other than at the graduation ceremony, he's always been the ideal man I admire—loyal, brave, and kind.
I want to be like him, to show it through my actions.
Don't be a coward; she's probably going to say something hurtful anyway! Don't get your hopes up!
Satsuki says,
"What I said the other day is really how I feel, okay? I'm not going to apologize or take it back."
Yeah, I figured.
I understand that I should just think of her as a completely different person now.
Even so, the change makes me sad.
Satsuki: "You said I don't need to become Rena Kashii and that I don't have to, right? Well, just watch, I'll definitely surpass her!"
Did I say something like that?
Was it around the time we started high school? Satsuki was abnormally obsessed with Kashii-san back then.
But what I meant was that she didn't need to compare herself to "that" Rena Kashii, and that Satsuki was fine just as she is.
...But, whatever, I guess.
"I said Satsuki is fine as Satsuki, but I guess that doesn't mean anything to you, does it?"
Satsuki: "Why don't you just keep playing around with your so-called best friend (lol)? Pfft!"
I almost snap in that moment.
"Satsuki! Sho has nothing to do with this! Don't badmouth him."
Satsuki flinches a bit, then gets angry, saying she doesn't deserve to be called out like that.
Well, you call me Kousuke without any respect too, don't you?
I want to get angry too! But since this is probably the last time, I don't want to end on such a sad note.
After a short pause, I regain my composure.
Satsuki: "Well, I do think I said too much too suddenly. It must have been a shock for you, Kousuke, right?"
Satsuki says this with a somber tone.
This feels like the most normal she's been in the past three days.
I try to bring up some memories, but,
Satsuki: "I'm not interested anymore, and honestly, I just want to erase the past."
She's really changed, hasn't she?
But with the current atmosphere, I feel like I might be able to say thank you one last time.
After a brief exchange where I ask to say something final and she agrees,
I talk a little about our memories. Though my words are few, she at least nods and listens.
"To me, Satsuki, you were my first girlfriend. I wasn't perfect, but I truly loved you... Thank you, I really loved you."
She listened quietly. That's enough for me.
Satsuki: "Well then, I'll say one last thing too."
With this atmosphere, she probably won't insult me too much, right?
Satsuki: "Some people know that you and I dated, right? Not many, but I've told a few myself... And that messes up the timeline of my dating period with Yamamoto, doesn't it?"
Huh? Well, obviously?
That's because Satsuki was fooling around and cheated!
Satsuki: "So! I want us to say we broke up amicably much earlier! And that it was your fault, Kousuke!"
"Huh? Why? You cheated, so it's your fault, isn't it, Satsuki?"
Satsuki: "If it's like that, people will think badly of me and Yamamoto, won't they?! Anyway! When couples break up, it's always the guy's fault! Even in divorces, the wife usually gets alimony, doesn't she?!"
No, no.
"...In a divorce, the at-fault spouse obviously pays alimony! It's clear that the one who caused the divorce through cheating or violence is at fault."
Satsuki: "Huh? So you're saying I'm the bad one?! Unbelievable! You just said you loved me, and now you're blaming me with the same mouth?!"
No, no, you cheated, didn't you?
...Is this it?
Now I'm starting to feel sad in a different way...
Satsuki: "Well, fine. I don't want to leave a bad impression and be resented either. Just don't go spreading unnecessary rumors about our breakup or that I'm dating Yamamoto, okay?"
(From the way she said that, it sounds like she might spread bad rumors or ones convenient for herself...?)
Now that I've calmed down a bit, something clicks. I'll be careful.
Ignoring my thoughts, Satsuki hands me the thing she brought with her.
...?
What's this?
It's the gifts and mementos I gave her over time.
She stuffed them carelessly into a bag and handed it to me.
Huh?
Satsuki: "I'm not saying it's for free! I'm returning everything I got from you! Ahahaha!"
I get it. No, I didn't get it until now.
The Satsuki I loved is no longer here.
My mood drops with a thud.
I politely thank her and take the bag.
Satsuki, who was mocking me, looks at me suspiciously as I accept the bag with a smile, then says goodbye.
"Yeah, see you."
Satsuki: "Heh! Acting all tough, huh!"
I understand clearly now—she's a completely different creature.
I don't plan to do anything myself, but if something happens, I won't hold back.
My heart still hurts, and I'll probably carry this with me for a while, but I'm sure I'll recover soon!
My best friend Sho started working a part-time job to change himself.
I, too, must change like my best friend.
I will absolutely show Satsuki, who made a fool of me, what I'm made of!
That's the vow I made in the early summer of my first year of high school.