Chapter 4: A Near Miss With Malice
It's the third day since Satsuki—my ex—suddenly told me she's dating someone else and that she was with him yesterday.
I thought I couldn't face her anymore, but this morning, I ran into Satsuki at the nearest station.
(Should I say something?... But what? What can I even say?... My head's a mess, I can't think straight...)
Satsuki meets my eyes but shows no sign of being shaken; in fact, she approaches me without any emotion at all.
Her appearance is the same as always.
Her hair is lightened, slightly shorter, and softly styled, her makeup more pronounced than before.
Is she emphasizing her eyes?
A navy blazer, white blouse, red tie, and a checkered skirt.
However, the chest of her uniform is unbuttoned, and her skirt is unbelievably short.
She's shifted from a plain beauty to a bright cuteness, my ex-girlfriend... yes, my ex-girlfriend.
Even after being told such awful things, being dumped, being told she was with another guy, I've known her since we were kids, loved her... no, I thought I was in love with Mishima Satsuki herself.
I wish this was some kind of mistake, that she'd say it's a lie! or a prank!
At the very least, I wish it hadn't ended like that; I just want a little more time, a chance to talk things out...
I watch her well-shaped lips part.
Those lips I kissed for the first time, my very first kiss, back in March.
Those lips open, and the words that come out are,
"Are you seriously taking the train at the same time as me? Normal? We've already broken up, so have some tact and shift your schedule, okay?"
So it's not a dream after all.
It was Satsuki, speaking to me with scorn, as if spitting out her words to mock me.
(...She's really changed, hasn't she.)
As I'm thinking that,
She chuckles softly,
"You skipped school yesterday, didn't you? I went to check and heard about it. I thought you'd be more shocked and wouldn't come back for at least a week... Aren't you embarrassed? How could you even show up?"
I'm embarrassed, I'm in pain, I'm feeling all sorts of emotions.
I definitely don't feel like going to school, but I can't keep running away forever.
I have to go to school with resolve and make a clean break.
To turn the ex-girlfriend in front of me into a memory.
My determination is firm, but I can't help being shaken, and the discomfort of her words leaves me speechless.
"..."
Satsuki gets slightly irritated,
"Again! Always doing that! Thinking you can just stay silent with that blank face! I always thought it! With that girly face of yours, but the moment you open your mouth, it's all 'man this' or 'man that'... so stupid! Why don't you just keep spouting that lame stuff with your gloomy best friend?"
Seeing her contemptuous expression, I start to doubt if this is really Satsuki.
But me, with a face girly enough to be cast as a witch in a play, often told I look just like my mom—that complex I only ever shared with Satsuki and my best friend Sho.
I start to feel sad. How did our relationship come to this?
Why? Did I do something wrong?
"...Satsuki, did I do something?"
Careful not to stutter, I speak a little slower than usual,
Satsuki snorts with a laugh,
"Like I said the day before yesterday, there are tons of guys on your level, okay? I've realized my own worth. You're not on my level anymore, and I'm not interested at all. ...No, how dare a guy like you take my first kiss...!"
?!
Does she regret kissing me...?!
Even if our hearts are apart now,
Back then, in that moment, we cared for each other, touched each other, pressed our lips together. Our hearts were connected.
That's the one thing that's certain. Is she denying even that memory...?
Even though I braced myself for Satsuki's heartless words, everything goes dark before my eyes.
Out of habit, I keep my expression blank and stay silent, but I just want to run away.
Satsuki looks a little sad,
"What's this? Aren't you hurt? Don't you feel anything even when I say this? You said you loved me, didn't you? ...Won't you say you love me anymore...?"
Seeing her pained expression, like the old Satsuki, I snap back to myself and say in a small shout,
"I-I do love you! It hurts! I've been thinking since the day before yesterday that I wish this was all a lie!"
That's my honest feeling,
Hearing that, Satsuki grins with a creepy smile,
"Kyahaha haha! Gross!! Saying 'I love you' after being dumped? To an ex-girlfriend who got taken by someone else?! That's hilarious! So lame! Ahahaha haha!!"
Laughing hysterically on the station platform, she suddenly stops and spits out,
"You're gross, so don't come on the same train as me. I'll give you one last chance to talk, so be grateful, okay? Come to the convenience store near my place this evening. Let's end it there, alright?"
"...Got it."
"...There are tons of cases where a dumped guy holds a grudge and does something... I have to be careful. Let's meet somewhere public, okay?"
So she's aware she's done something to be resented for?
Everything, from start to finish, went at Satsuki's pace, and the conversation ended.
I couldn't bring myself to take the same train, so I waited for the next one and headed to the terminal station.
My chest is pounding, my head hurts, and I feel dizzy.
Palpitations, shortness of breath, you name it.
Kousuke Saito, in absolute bad shape!
After school today, we've agreed to meet and talk.
...I always thought I'd get a chance to meet and talk, to settle things in my heart! But I never imagined it'd be so soon, so close, and that I'd be treated like this... After school, huh. I have a feeling this won't be a clean goodbye...