"Let's add WeChat so I can send you the documents later." Song Luping said to Lin Li.
"Sure, bro." Lin Li nodded, took out his phone, and showed his QR code.
Lin Li had two phone numbers—one was a number-preservation plan, one was mainly for data usage, so he also had two WeChats.
What he was showing now was his secondary WeChat. Although it also had a Moments feed, it had no personal information and wouldn't let Song Luping realize he wasn't Bai Bufan.
"Defense." requests to add you as a friend.
Actually a premium single-character ID, and even an anime black-and-white male avatar. Could his Brother Ping actually be an internet heartthrob?
"Uh... Bufan, is this 'My advisor checking my thesis was shocking' you?" Song Luping frowned, sensing something wasn't quite right.
"Yes, Brother Ping, that's me." Lin Li only dared use this kind of nickname on his secondary account.
Song Luping looked at the WeChat with the idiotic Patrick Star avatar, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.
Had he really found someone suitable to inherit his mantle?
Song Luping suddenly felt somewhat unconfident.
...
After adding each other as friends, the two continued eating barbecue and chatting, pouring out their hearts—though half-truths and half-lies.
—The half Lin Li spoke was all lies, the half Song Luping spoke was all true.
Lin Li wasn't sure if Song Luping had poor alcohol tolerance, but he felt like the guy was getting tipsy after just one bottle, pulling him along to say a lot of things. This level would only qualify for the kids' table at drinking gatherings.
About his first love, his first time, etc. etc.
Today's underwear was red—Song Luping even told Lin Li this.
The other person was bearing his heart and soul, and thinking about how his own words contained not a single truth, Lin Li felt a bit guilty.
Lin Li had originally planned to reciprocate.
Song Luping would give him maps, he'd send Song Luping in.
Reasonable and fair.
But now, this idea had changed somewhat.
Maybe he could try hard to make him reform? Get a happy ending?
They'd only ordered seventy yuan worth of food, and before they knew it, they'd quickly finished everything.
There was no thought of continuing to order. Lin Li called the waiter to settle the bill.
"Bufan, how can I let you treat? I was joking—as the older brother, I'll pay, I'll pay!" The slightly drunk Song Luping squinted and said loudly.
Lin Li smiled as he showed his QR code for the shop to scan.
Damn you.
If you're going to pay, then get up.
You're sitting in the farthest position, only saying this after I'd already taken out my phone, and when you said it you had no intention of stopping me at all—no action whatsoever. Isn't that a bit much?
Not even willing to tussle with me a bit?
Song Luping was probably afraid Lin Li didn't understand social etiquette and would actually let him pay in the end.
Damn adults.
Lin Li retracted his previous thought. He'd still send Song Luping in.
Once an orc, always an orc. What reform? Didn't exist!
"Brother Ping, that's it then. I'm heading back?" The two walked side by side out of the barbecue restaurant. As Lin Li unlocked his bicycle, he said to Song Luping.
"Alright, Bufan. Be careful on your way. I'll start organizing things when I get back." Song Luping nodded.
"Bro, you're the one who needs to be careful." Looking at Song Luping swaying slightly as he walked, Lin Li said weakly.
Before sending me the comprehensive Xiling chicken farm map, you must stay alive.
If you must die, definitely die afterward.
"It's fine. My home is nearby, right over there." Song Luping waved his hand, pointing in a direction.
Lin Li looked at Song Luping pointing at the barbecue restaurant and fell into silence.
Is that your home you're pointing at?
Sighing, Lin Li ultimately half-escorted Song Luping to the bottom of his residential building before riding home.
Address acquired—another piece of reference material for when he sent him to the Demon Suppression Bureau.
...
At home.
Lin Li was in a good mood.
The most troublesome problem had finally been resolved.
Now he just needed to wait for Song Luping to send him the life-and-death registry of chicken farms, letting him randomly select the lucky targets for elimination.
He should be able to act this weekend—even if Song Luping didn't send him documents before then, it wouldn't matter.
Because in their subsequent conversation, Song Luping had mentioned a chicken farm that met Lin Li's requirements, though it was distantly located and not the optimal choice.
But at least he had a target. If Song Luping didn't send him documents, he'd investigate and hit that one.
Yang Liang would definitely be very happy—he was about to deliver more achievements again.
The yellow sky of Xiling Town would be strangled in his hands.
"Buzz—buzz—"
Just as he sat on the sofa enjoying thoughts of the future, Lin Li noticed his phone on the coffee table constantly vibrating.
"Organized so quickly?" With this thought, Lin Li opened his phone.
Message after message was frantically popping up on the lock screen. Before he could read the previous one clearly, the next one would push up.
Was he being SMS bombed?
Lin Li unlocked his phone and clicked on a message:
"Wang Yuezhi prostitutes without paying! Wang Yuezhi prostitutes without paying! Wang Yuezhi prostitutes without paying!"
Lin Li: "?"
There was such a thing? So the expert was right beside him. Good for you, Wang Yuezhi—with your thick eyebrows and big eyes, really couldn't tell. You should have said so earlier. If you had, I would have immediately become buddies with you and kicked Bai Bufan and the others to the curb long ago.
Next message.
"Wang Yuezhi snuck behind his wife's back to open hotel rooms last night! Really kinky! Click link to watch video!"
Lin Li: "??"
Huh?
"Wang Yuezhi disguised as a loli to seduce Hawking to Loli Island..."
"Wang Yuezhi used the absence list to trick college students into thinking it was attendance..."
"Wang Yuezhi gave nuclear bombs to Japanese people saying they were hand warmers..."
Lin Li checked these text messages and found they were all attacking Wang Yuezhi, realizing they probably weren't real but deliberate smearing and rumors.
"Pretty rhyming though."
But what had happened? Why were these texts being sent to his phone? And the sending numbers were all different—it wasn't one number continuously sending.
WeChat popped up a message, but not from Song Luping.
"Bai Bufan: Did something happen?"
Very good, no need for deduction. The culprit always returns to the crime scene—the perpetrator had been found.
"Lin Li: [Screenshot]"
"Bai Bufan: Hahahahahaha."
"Lin Li: ? Did you do this? What's going on?"
"Bai Bufan: No, tonight I was still working hard to find our targets, then I encountered a sister who wanted to video chat naked with me."
"Lin Li: Continue."
Lin Li waited for Bai Bufan to continue explaining.
Lin Li wasn't stupid enough to believe this kind of thing, and the fact that the texts were mainly about Wang Yuezhi already explained something.
"Bai Bufan: After all that anti-fraud propaganda, seeing is believing—so I went to experience it.
So I became Wang Yuezhi. After that sister asked about my preferences and fetishes, she said she also really liked my preferences, said we were meant for each other, and started inviting me to video chat naked.
I already had my philosophical mask ready, but she said we had to do it on software she sent me.
I felt there might be a virus, so I set up a virtual machine to download it.
The software itself didn't have much virus, but when it started, claiming to update, it was actually asking for information access permissions to retrieve phone info.
Based on my prediction, I made up a set of phone contacts in the virtual machine, where only your information was real."
Lin Li: "..."
"Bai Bufan: Then we started video chatting. Lin Li, let me tell you, I don't know if the other side was AI or recorded video, but it looked pretty real.
When she saw I kept wearing a mask, she first gently tried to persuade me. Later, seeing I absolutely refused to show my face, she suddenly turned hostile and started greeting my family members.
Could I tolerate this? I directly called Baowei, Tianming and the others over. Six people cursing one person—we made her cry."
Lin Li blinked.
Damn.
Six people from Bai Bufan's dorm at full output was indeed scary. This sister was also pitiful—Lin Li didn't dare imagine what kind of greetings her ears had endured.
"Bai Bufan: She just left us with 'Wait until everyone knows the good things you've done, then beg us not to send messages' and hung up.
So I came to ask you to see if she sent you anything."
What could Lin Li say?
"Lin Li: 6"
"Bai Bufan: Laughing to death, she's still threatening me now, telling me to transfer her two thousand yuan. What a clown."
"Lin Li: The most human thing you did in this matter was not using my name."
"Bai Bufan: We're all buddies. When I can use your name, don't I know in my heart? Being brothers is in the heart."
"Lin Li: You're making me feel a bit embarrassed. If I'd known, I wouldn't have spread rumors to Chen Yuying at lunch about you having hemorrhoids."
"Bai Bufan: ?"
"Bai Bufan: [Voice Message] 60s"
(End of Chapter)
Loli Island - Reference to Jeffrey Epstein scandal
Hawking - Stephen Hawking reference in absurd context