Translator: Marctempest
Editor: Rynfinity
Chapter 301
“Han Ha-ram.”
When I lowered my voice, the child quickly took notice and ran over.
“Yes!”
“What did I tell you?”
“Don’t wander around alone outside! Sorry, that statue looked so interesting!”
“Then you should have just come with me. Now, hold my hand.”
Han Ha-ram smiled sheepishly and took my hand.
We were standing at JFK International Airport.
It was the largest and busiest airport in New York.
‘It’s the perfect place to lose a child.’
Especially since he had been kidnapped before, I couldn't leave him alone.
When I tightened my grip on his hand, Han Ha-ram laughed as if he found it amusing.
“I love traveling with you, Yeon-jae!”
“Me too. Let’s finish all the work and then have some fun.”
“Okay!”
We had come to New York suddenly because of Lily Sweetie’s concert.
She had invited Mia and me to the concert because we appeared in the music video for her new song, "Lilly."
‘I hadn’t planned on coming.’
I was busy preparing for my album, and traveling to New York was a hassle.
I intended to politely decline, but I got swayed by Lily’s words again.
‘(You have to perform on stage when you release your music too! How about studying by watching my concert? You can learn some stage manners!)’
Even though I got talked into it, her point was valid.
Since I was in New York, I decided to ignore her suggestion to record a remix version together and just accepted the concert invitation.
But when Han Ha-ram heard about it, he begged to come along.
Since he was young, he needed his parents' permission, but Han Ha-ram confidently smiled.
‘Don’t worry! They’ll let me do whatever I want.’
‘Why are you so sure?’
‘These days, they don’t talk to me much! They don’t even mention modeling!’
The child’s bright smile as he said he was invisible at home made it seem like this was what he had genuinely wanted all along.
I had many things to say, but I didn’t know how to respond, so I stayed silent.
And that’s how the trip to New York with Han Ha-ram was decided.
“Actor, I’ve rented a car. Please follow me.”
“Okay.”
I held tightly to Han Ha-ram’s hand as we moved.
“We’ll head straight to the concert venue. Both of you, please fasten your seat belts.”
Jin-bae hyung habitually adjusted my seatbelt before starting the car.
‘New York is indeed New York.’
The dazzling neon signs and billboards shone brightly.
The noise of the bustling crowd and the lively streets were overwhelming.
After driving for a while, we arrived at the concert hall, where a large crowd had gathered.
After passing through tight security and several doors, we finally reached a quiet hallway reserved for staff.
‘Wow, it’s hectic.’
I was exhausted even before watching the concert.
When we entered the waiting room, there was a guest already there.
“(Bambi!)”
It was Mia Brown, who had filmed the music video with Lily.
“(Hi, Mia.)”
“(You still look great after all this time. But you rarely reply to my emails, you know?)”
That’s because you always send weird messages.
I smiled silently, and Mia glared at me before noticing Han Ha-ram.
“(Oh, who’s this? Hi there!)”
Han Ha-ram immediately hid behind me.
“(Hi….)”
Despite the quiet voice, he managed to greet her.
Seeing this, Mia smiled, finding him adorable.
“(So cute. Is he your brother? You two look alike.)”
“(He’s a close younger brother. He’s American. His English name is Luke. He came with me to watch the concert.)”
“(Nice to meet you, Luke. Do you like Lily too?)”
Han Ha-ram gave a small nod.
Even with that small movement, Mia was excited.
“(You’re a Lily fan too! Ah, I’m so excited to watch Lily’s live performance! I can’t believe I’m here at her concert! And with a personal invitation! I could die happy right now.)”
If you’re going to die, might as well wait until after the concert.
I found it odd but didn’t say anything.
“(Actor, have a sandwich.)”
“(Thank you.)”
The wait for the concert was quite long.
We were sharing the sandwiches that Jin-bae hyung had brought us.
“(By the way, your English has improved a lot.)”
“(Huh?)”
“(Oh, don’t misunderstand. It’s a genuine compliment, not sarcasm.)”
Mia waved her hands in a flurry.
“(When we filmed the music video, you weren’t this fluent. Now you sound like a native speaker.)”
“(Well, I’ve been studying.)”
“(Does studying alone make that big of a difference?)”
Mia tilted her head in confusion.
I tilted my head as well.
‘What else besides studying could it be?’
It had been over two years since I started taking English lessons, and thanks to Han Ha-ram, I used English in daily life too.
This album was entirely in English, so I had studied even more intensely.
After my explanation, Mia’s expression grew even more puzzled.
“(It’s strange. You make it sound so easy, it feels like it really is…)”
“(Try learning a foreign language. It’s fun.)”
“(Really?)”
“(Yeah. It feels like a part of my brain that I didn’t use is finally working. It’s stimulating whenever I make a mistake.)”
“(…You find that fun?)”
Mia looked at me strangely.
‘She’s looking at me like I’m some kind of psychopath.’
It was then that Han Ha-ram, who had been quiet since meeting Mia, chimed in.
“(Yeon-jae is good at everything.)”
“(He’s good at acting, good at languages, and good at singing too!)”
“(Oh, that’s right. You said you were releasing a song!)”
Mia’s eyes sparkled.
“(Can you sing a bit of it now?)”
“(No.)”
I firmly refused.
“(Why not?!)”
“(I need to avoid spoilers.)”
“(It’s just us here. What spoilers?)”
You never know.
‘There could be a recorder, or a camera could be installed.’
I couldn’t blindly trust a place I had never been to before.
When I continued to refuse, Mia pouted.
“(That’s so mean. Luke, have you heard Bambi sing?)”
“(No. I haven’t heard him either.)”
“(What, not even you? Doesn’t that bother you?)”
Han Ha-ram nodded.
“(It doesn’t bother me. He promised to let me be the first to hear it when the album comes out.)”
“(Wow. You two are really close.)”
“(Yeah. We’re really close. I won’t do anything Yeon-jae doesn’t like.)”
His expression seemed unbothered as he said that.
I quietly looked at Han Ha-ram, then signaled to Mia with my eyes.
It was a sign for her to leave us alone for a moment.
“(I’ll just step out to the restroom.)”
“(Okay. See you.)”
Thanks to Mia’s quick intuition, only Han Ha-ram and I were left in the waiting room.
After confirming that Han Ha-ram had finished his sandwich, I spoke.
“Ha-ram.”
“Yes?”
“I really like you.”
His eyes widened at my sudden statement, then softened into a smile.
“I like you too, Yeon-jae!”
I patted his head as he smiled brightly.
“Thank you. But it’s just that I like you and you like me.”
“Huh?”
“You can’t put up with everything just because of that. Even if you think I might dislike it, you should do what you want to do.”
You should at least have that kind of desire.
Han Ha-ram tilted his head, not understanding my words.
“I mean, your actions shouldn’t be based on me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not you.”
I gently stroked his soft hair.
“I understand your feelings. People need a place to find salvation. But it shouldn’t be from a person. People always change.”
“…”
“I’ll change too. You’ll change. That change might drive us apart, and someone could get deeply hurt.”
“Then what should I do…?”
“You should set your standards based on yourself, not on others.”
Setting one person as your paradise.
It might be nice at first.
But you must also consider that the paradise might reject you.
Because even though paradise is just a person, eventually, someone will get tired.
‘Our relationship right now isn’t healthy.’
In a lopsided relationship like a seesaw, power dynamics are inevitable.
Even if not now, someday I might exploit Han Ha-ram.
Han Ha-ram, not wanting to be abandoned by me, might start watching my reactions before saying anything.
‘I need to nip this in the bud now.’
I looked at Han Ha-ram with a firm expression.
“I know I’m important to you. And I’m really grateful you think that way.”
“…”
“But I shouldn’t be the most important to you. The most important person to you should always be yourself.”
I repeated words I’d read in a book.
Calmly laying out what I had picked up here and there, I suggested that he try even though it wouldn’t be easy.
After a long silence, Han Ha-ram quietly asked,
“What about you, Yeon-jae?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you like that too? Is your standard based on you?”
“…”
I couldn’t say anything.
‘My standard.’
My standard was… Mist.
If Mist disappeared, my world would collapse.
My feelings, my pride, all those things were trivial compared to Mist.
“I…”
“…”
His clear eyes looked straight at me.
I wanted to act, but I couldn’t put on a show in front of those pure eyes.
In that moment of continued silence,
“(I said no!)”
“(Let go of me! Why is a girl so strong?!)”
Suddenly, there was a commotion outside the door.
After calming the startled Han Ha-ram, I strode towards the noise.
Bang.
Without hesitation, I opened the door and saw a man and woman arguing.
It was Mia, and a man I had never seen before.
“(Bambi, I’m sorry. He kept insisting on entering the waiting room—.)”
“(So you’re the famous Bloody Boy? You’re taller than I thought.)”
The man looked me up and down with obvious hostility.
His sarcastic tone puzzled me.
‘Who is this guy?’
As I silently stared at him, he frowned.
“(What’s this? Can’t you speak? Do you not know English, or can you not speak at all? Can you read? Someone bring a sketchbook!)”
He’s quite something.
I glanced at him once before turning my gaze to Mia.
“(Mia, come here.)”
“(Huh?)”
“(Come here.)”
Mia approached, looking bewildered.
I naturally pulled her behind me, shielding her with my back.
When I asked who the guy was, Mia whispered with a troubled expression.
“(He’s one of Noah Patterson’s gang.)”
“(Ah.)”
Noah Patterson.
The kid who mocked me for not knowing English.
I recalled the blond boy who once stood beside his father and apologized to me in Korea.
“(Hey, can’t you see me?)”
The man snapped.
“(What kind of rudeness is it to whisper in front of someone?)”
Ha.
‘Can’t even think straight with this noise.’
Annoyance surged within me due to the unexpected disturbance.
The man sneered and tapped my shoulder.
“(You better watch out. Because of what you did to Noah, everyone’s out to get you. They’re all talking about you behind your back. Got it?)”
A breathy laugh escaped my lips.
Simultaneously, the man’s face contorted in anger.
“(Are you laughing?)”
“(Oh, sorry.)”
I chuckled softly and stared straight into his eyes.
It was an intimidation I couldn’t help but laugh at.
“(They’re talking about me behind my back? I’m so scared I can’t help but laugh. My hands are shaking.)”
“(….)”
The atmosphere grew even colder.