Translator: Marctempest
Editor: Rynfinity
Chapter 300
When I turned my head, my foster father was standing beside me.
“These are the flowers you gave me as a gift.”
“I did?”
“It was around two months after you arrived. My birthday was coming up.”
My foster father gently touched the sky-blue flowers.
“I was tending to the garden then, and you came to me cautiously, saying you wanted to give me a gift but had no money.”
“… Did I ask to borrow money?”
“Oh? Do you remember?”
My foster father looked surprised.
‘Of course, I wouldn’t remember.’
I was only about six years old when I was adopted, so it was natural that I didn’t remember.
‘I just asked out of curiosity.’
My head felt dizzy.
“Even though I told you it was fine several times, you insisted on borrowing money, saying you’d pay it back later.”
So basically,
“You extorted money from the person you wanted to give a gift to.”
Tsk.
I clicked my tongue, and my foster father smiled.
“You had a kind heart. I told you not to do that and to pick flowers from the roadside instead. That would be enough.”
After hearing that, I immediately went out to the roadside.
But after hesitating for a long time, I returned empty-handed.
“You said that those flowers must have owners too, and asked if you could pick the flowers from the garden instead.”
“… Was I really that shameless?”
I couldn’t believe it, and my mouth fell open without realizing it.
Not only did I try to borrow money from the person I wanted to give a gift to, but I also wanted to take the flowers they had carefully grown.
Seeing my dismayed expression, my foster father laughed.
“I thought it was cute. These are the flowers you gave me back then.”
“You shouldn’t call that a gift.”
“Why not?”
My foster father picked a sky-blue flower and handed it to me.
“Here, it’s my gift to you.”
After hesitating for a moment, I accepted the flower.
It had a subtle fragrance.
I thought the scent felt somewhat unreal.
“Thank you for coming all the way here.”
“….”
Hearing these words made me feel even more so.
“Thank you so much for coming to see me first. And… I’m really sorry.”
My foster father took a deep breath before continuing.
“We were irresponsible parents. It’s not something that can be covered with an apology. But I’m truly sorry.”
“No, I should be the one….”
I felt a lump in my throat.
Feeling a stinging sensation, I quickly closed my mouth.
When I lowered my gaze, I heard a gentle laugh from above.
“Seeing you reminds me a lot of Ji-heon. You look so much alike.”
“… I don’t even remember Ji-heon hyung’s face well.”
“Do you want to go see it?”
When I looked up, I saw my foster father smiling.
“Ji-heon’s room is still the same. Euntaek’s mom cleans it every day. All the pictures are still up.”
After hesitating for a long time, I finally nodded.
I followed my foster father into the house, up the stairs, and down the hallway.
I felt dazed the whole time.
It was as if my mind was drifting away, feeling distant.
Then, in an instant.
“…….”
It really was just a moment.
As soon as I entered the room, the hazy memories covered by curtains became vivid.
I stood blankly, looking around the room.
I was there.
To be exact, Ji-heon hyung and a younger version of me were there.
* * *
Before I knew it, I was inside the room.
I lightly touched the old but well-maintained bedspread.
I also glanced over the neatly arranged photos on the desk.
‘Right.’
That’s what he looked like.
‘That’s what he looked like.’
Ji-heon hyung, whom I saw in the photos, felt both unfamiliar and strangely familiar.
There was a sense of the atmosphere I had felt from many people over the years.
Almost like….
‘He looks a lot like Jeong-hyun hyung.’
The gently sloping eyes, the kind appearance, even the calm tone I remembered.
I absentmindedly stroked the picture frame.
‘Ji-heon hyung.’
The kid in the photo was much younger than I am now, so it was hard to call him hyung.
He looked about the same age as when I met Mist.
‘Meeting Mist was a stroke of luck for me.’
Meeting me must have been unfortunate for you.
Thinking about the life of Ji-heon hyung, who had terrible luck, naturally brought my mood down.
It took a while before I noticed my foster mother, who had come into the room.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. Feel free to look around more.”
As soon as our eyes met, my foster mother hurriedly got up from the bed.
“Just a moment.”
“Huh?”
“Could you please sit down for a moment? Both of you.”
I swallowed nervously.
I came here to say this.
My foster mother and father sat on the bed with bewildered expressions.
After clenching and unclenching my fists, I slowly opened my mouth.
“I’m sorry.”
“…?”
“About Ji-heon hyung. I feel like I never apologized properly back then.”
I remembered the damp air inside the house at that time.
‘Making them lose a perfectly fine child.’
I had shamelessly observed them without offering an apology.
Even after Euntaek got hurt, I never properly apologized.
“I’m really sorry. I wanted to tell you this.”
“No, Jae—no, Yeon-jae.”
My foster mother hurriedly waved her hands.
“We were out of our minds back then. You were also our son. I was such a terrible mother, unworthy of being called one. I shouldn’t have sent you away like that—”
“No.”
I shook my head firmly.
“You made the right choice. If something had happened to Euntaek hyung too…”
Then I wouldn’t have found any value in living.
“Ji-heon hyung ended up like that because of me. It’s my fault.”
“It wasn’t your fault. We know that now. We’re truly sorry.”
No.
‘You don’t know anything.’
The subtle scent of my foster mother’s perfume wafted past my nose.
But I couldn’t focus on it because of her increasingly trembling hands.
I quietly took her hand.
“It is my fault.”
I knew.
That not everything caused by the Misfortune Factor could be blamed on me.
I felt wronged, sad, and sometimes resentful.
I wanted to shout that I didn’t know either.
But despite all that.
“It was my fault, and you both made the right decision.”
“Jae-hee, don’t blame yourself.”
My foster father placed his hand over mine.
It was a familiar warmth and a name I hadn’t heard in a long time.
“We don’t want you to blame yourself.”
It was kind, but I shook my head.
“I’m not trying to blame myself.”
Blaming myself wouldn’t change anything.
No one could understand.
It wasn’t my fault, but it was my fault.
Even if it wasn’t solely because of me, I had to live thinking it was because of me.
I had to live with that fact for the rest of my life.
Until it became a part of my life.
“I don’t want to dwell on the past. But I want to keep meeting Euntaek hyung. And…”
I looked up and met the gaze of my foster parents.
“I want to keep meeting you, too.”
My foster mother held her breath.
I gripped her increasingly trembling hand more tightly.
“I told you that you made the right decision. It’s not a lie. But… even knowing that, there are times I feel sorrowful.”
When I said I wanted to go back to the orphanage.
Even if my foster parents had tried to hold me back, I would have left by any means necessary.
I didn’t want to see Euntaek hyung get hurt after Ji-heon hyung.
But I wished.
Even knowing it was shameless for what I had done.
Even knowing it was too much to ask…
‘I wished you would hold me back.’
I wished you would hold me back just once.
“I’m not trying to blame you. I would have done the same. I really think so. I….”
What should I say to convey my feelings without being misunderstood?
I wanted to express my true feelings as the doctor had advised, but contrary to my thoughts, I couldn’t get the words out.
Then it happened.
“I’m sorry.”
Suddenly, everything went dark.
“I’m sorry, Jae-hee. I’m sorry….”
“……”
The only thing I could see in the embrace was pitch darkness.
My foster mother, who was holding me, trembled.
“Mom….”
Warm tears fell on my neck.
“I’m really sorry. I’m sorry, my baby.”
Her soft hand patted my back.
Soon, another hand touched my back.
“… We’ve taken such a long, roundabout way. Haven’t we?”
It was my foster father.
His voice was soaked with tears, just like my foster mother’s.
“……”
It felt like swallowing a burning ember, my throat was hot.
I felt the emotions rising inside.
Thankfully, since it was dark, I didn’t have to fake any expression.
I unintentionally frowned.
Then, as if whispering, the words slipped out.
“I missed you….”
It was a heartfelt confession that I couldn’t hold back.
Even before I finished speaking, my foster mother kept nodding.
"Yes, I know. I know."
My neck was wet from the tears my foster mother shed.
She was already a delicate person.
I worried she might faint from dehydration at this rate.
I wanted to check on her condition, but she was holding me too tightly.
“We missed you too. I’m sorry… so sorry.”
My foster mother patted my back for a very long time.
And so, we truly reunited.
* * *
That day, Jin-bae hyung and I stayed at the main house until late.
Neither Euntaek nor Jin-bae hyung said anything about my foster mother’s puffy eyes.
Jin-bae hyung just patted my back.
“Jae-hee, what do you want for dinner?”
“… It’s three in the afternoon.”
I quickly stopped my foster mother, who was trying to put on an apron even though we hadn’t digested lunch yet.
After calming her down, we all sat in the living room and chatted.
But when Jin-bae hyung mentioned that I liked rice cakes, my foster father grabbed his car keys and stood up.
It took a lot of convincing to calm him down as well.
Despite our efforts, we couldn’t avoid a lavish dinner, and I ended up eating until I was about to burst.
“Hey, kid.”
“What?”
“Come here.”
After dinner, Euntaek handed me something.
At that moment, I froze.
The rough texture in my palm was unmistakable.
There was no need to ask what it was.
“……”
I slowly opened my hand.
With a rustling sound, a small lollipop appeared.
Euntaek smiled broadly.
“Been a while, right?”
“……”
“They don’t make these anymore. You can’t find them online.”
His voice, filled with both playfulness and maturity, explained how he had gone to a stationery store in the next town, believing that only the exact same product would have the same effect.
I touched the lollipop, which was barely bigger than a fingernail.
Once, this candy made me feel like I owned the world.
“Thank you.”
“No one else but me, right?”
“Yeah. Jin-bae hyung is a hyung too.”
“… Are you really going to be like that?”
Euntaek frowned and put me in a headlock.
As I let out a yelp, my foster parents came running, asking what was wrong.
“Oh, stop bothering Jae-hee.”
“Why are you two always fighting? You’re not kids anymore.”
“Oh, he was being rude!”
“Euntaek, you’re acting childish. Do you call yourself a brother?”
My foster mother smacked Euntaek’s back.
I responded with a distressed expression.
“I’m okay… Don’t hit Euntaek hyung.”
“Hey, why are you acting here?!”
Euntaek, looking exasperated, lunged at me.
Idiot.
“Euntaek! Are you really going to do that?!”
My foster mother started hitting Euntaek more enthusiastically.
Watching this, I laughed to myself.
‘They were right.’
They said that sometimes only the person who caused the wound could heal it.
That sometimes such wounds exist.
They were right.
Tonight, my wounds felt a bit lighter.