Sure enough, the world is a cycle.
In the end, I’ve become the kind of person I used to hate.
What’s worse is… I ended up hurting the person I cared about the most—just like that maid once did.
After realizing this, Zervanie felt hopeless inside.
Felyn, who had stayed by her side through countless nights, who had supported her through so many hardships. Zervanie realized she had long become unable to live without him.
But because of her own selfishness, Felyn had now completely left her side. In his heart, there was no space for her anymore.
Zervanie had clung to a fragile illusion, refusing to consider the possibility that Felyn might leave. But when she saw two noble young ladies—both stronger and with higher status than her—beside him, that illusion was shattered.
Now she didn’t know what to do at all.
She had hurt the person she liked with her own hands, and after he left, she discovered that many excellent girls were now around him.
She wanted to reach out and pull Felyn back, but guilt rooted her in place, afraid to get close.
What should I do?
Am I just going to watch Felyn walk away from me?
Felyn’s attitude was cold and unwavering. Zervanie didn’t know what else she could do.
All she could do now was apologize—honestly and humbly—and hope he would forgive her.
This time, she didn’t want anything grand.
She just wanted to stay by Felyn’s side.
If Felyn was with her, she believed she could be happy.
Because… in this world, the only person she could truly trust was Felyn.
Without him, she was like a doll placed under a spotlight—forced to smile falsely at an ever-present crowd, forever.
But… would Felyn forgive me?
Zervanie didn’t dare look up.
This top idol, who had never once been nervous performing in front of tens of thousands of people—
Now felt so small before Felyn.
Is it love that makes someone feel so inferior?
She didn’t know.
When your deepest desires depend on someone else to fulfill them—this is what happens.
Only now, there was no contract. Felyn had every right to walk away.
"You don’t need to apologize to me,” Felyn smiled gently at her, "All of that was written in the contract. You didn’t do anything wrong."
"But I..."
"But I’m glad you’ve come to think about it this way."
Zervanie’s heart skipped a beat. She quickly looked up, her bangs sliding away to reveal eyes filled with hope and shame.
Is he going to forgive me?
"Because if you kept acting that way, you’d keep hurting people. Your parents, your friends, the people closest to you. And most of all—yourself."
That’s not what I wanted to hear.
She noticed—Felyn didn’t include himself among the people she could hurt.
"Th-then what about you?"
She took a sip of water and noticed Felyn swallowed at the same time.
"Please..."
"Don’t say things like that. I’m not asking you to forgive me. I just want to be able to stay by your side. That’s all. I won’t be like before—please, just give me one more chance. God… at least give me a little hope."
"Me? I’m just one of the many fans of Lady Zervanie. That’s all. I’ll be cheering you on."
God did not answer Zervanie’s prayer.
Becoming a fan—she understood the meaning hidden in Felyn’s words.
To be a fan… meant keeping distance from the idol.
To be a fan… meant not showing private feelings or gestures in front of her.
To be a fan… meant his life had completely left hers behind.
"If the pressure is too much, maybe you should consider giving up on being an idol. Zervanie… you don’t actually enjoy singing, do you?"
During their time together, Felyn had seen her repeatedly resist practice.
She would often skip meals all day on rehearsal days.
No one would believe that the top idol in the empire actually hated singing.
Even deeply resented it.
"I don’t like it, that’s true. But I don’t want to give up who I am."
Zervanie crept two small steps closer, trying to be nearer to him.
"Huh? But you’re not short on money, are you?"
"Felyn, promise you won’t laugh if I tell you why?" Zervanie rubbed her face, shy and embarrassed.
It was the first time she’d ever told anyone the truth.
"I won’t."
Though, honestly, if this were any other situation, he probably would laugh.
"I… I feel happy when I see others become happier because of me."
"That’s it?"
What a noble reason.
He never would've guessed.
He’d thought her dream was to start a cult and have fans worship her as the world’s new goddess.
"For that reason, I can endure anything. As long as I see someone smile because of me, I feel like it’s all worth it."
To endure the pressure of obsessed fans and stalkers,
To act her heart out every day just to see someone smile…
Miss Zervanie, you really are incredible.
"...It’s just that… I couldn’t make the most important person to me smile."
Zervanie’s voice merged with the breeze in the alley, her fingers nervously twisting at her sleeves.
She was no longer the glamorous idol shining under the spotlight.
She had removed every mask, every layer of her public persona.
Now, she was just a girl clinging to what might be her last moment alone with Felyn.
"Maybe… maybe I’ve been deceiving everyone too. The person they see was never really me."
She spoke to herself, her eyes—once like a frozen lake—now glazed with a misty layer.
"Maybe everything I’ve done… meant nothing at all."
"I don’t think that’s true."
Felyn’s reply made Zervanie snap her head up, disbelief shining in her gaze.
Every emotion poured onto her face. Her tear tracks still marked her pale cheeks, adding a tragic beauty to her features.
Her hair, tousled and loose, fell across her face and shoulders—making her look even softer and more gentle.
"This world is a lie. Everyone chases dreams that never come true. Everyone searches for a perfect partner who doesn’t exist.
But those lies? They have another name—hope.
And people live on hope. Without it, we’d all lose the will to live.
Zervanie, you gave people the courage to keep living."
Some might say her ideals were childish.
But in a world where everything was measured in crowns and contracts, Felyn knew—what she had was rare.
He couldn’t do it.
In his world, only money mattered.
If someone could do something he couldn’t—that made them better.
The breeze stirred the alley, swirling leaves gently between them.
Zervanie’s eyes welled up again.
Her heart beat like thunder, wanting to leap forward, wanting to cry.
She said something straight out of a comic book.
"I was so awful to you... and now you’re leaving me... d-don’t be this nice to me, please..."
Sure enough, I still like Felyn.
She wiped her face quickly. If she cried more, it wouldn’t look good. Her makeup would smear.
She couldn’t let Felyn see her like that.
"Alright, you should get going. It’d be bad if someone recognized us."
"Felyn… are you really leaving?"
Zervanie panicked, quickly gripping the hem of his coat.
"Well, the job’s done, isn’t it? I helped you through your crisis."
"But I gave you thirty thousand crowns."
"That was a life or death situation, young lady. We were both actually in danger."
Felyn gently pried her hand away.
"That’s so unfair. I’m going to file a complaint against you," Zervanie pouted—not angry at all, just sounding like a girl who didn’t get what she wanted.
Hearing that, Felyn couldn’t help but laugh.
"Where are you going to complain to? I sell myself for a living. I’m lucky I haven’t been arrested."
Zervanie huffed softly. She really had no way of dealing with him.
"Can’t you stay with me just a bit longer?"
"Still? Aren’t you going home?"
Zervanie shook her head. Her long hair swayed stubbornly behind her.
"Today’s the only time I had to observe people’s expressions. My schedule’s full for the whole next month."
"Then why not skip the observing?"
"But if I can’t see their smiles—can’t feel their emotions—I can’t make a perfect smile myself."
Zervanie let her hands fall. She looked helpless.
A frustrating silence returned.
She lowered her head, waiting for his reply.
While she waited, time seemed to slow to a crawl.
Her heartbeat… was like one per thirty seconds.
Felyn scratched his head. What a pain.
He hadn’t forgiven her.
Because really, there was nothing to forgive—it was all just a contract.
They’d only met because of the contract.
Now that it was over, all he wanted was for her not to bother him again.
Whether she regretted it or not, that wasn’t his concern.
None of this has anything to do with me.
"Zervanie… I..."
Felyn stopped mid-sentence.
If he rejected her, she’d still go to Homhot and try to observe people.
That meant she might be seen again.
Old Felyn would’ve laughed and let it happen.
But today was different.
The cake shop incident had just happened.
That rabid fan might still be nearby.
If Zervanie ran into her again, it could turn into something like this:
[Girls! I’m shaking with rage!]
[That guy said Lady Zervanie got hit in the head as a kid and called her stupid in front of everyone!]
[AAAAHHHH! Let’s tear him apart!]
What a cursed life.
Felyn was starting to think he’d angered this world’s god somehow.
Why did all the trouble seem to find him?
"...Alright. But only until noon. I’ve got things to do this afternoon."
So he’d accompany her for the rest of today’s observation.
The next one wouldn’t be for a month.
By then, that fan would’ve forgotten everything.
"Really?"
Zervanie hadn’t expected him to agree.
The sparkle in her eyes lit up like gems.
"I’ll go straight home at noon, I promise! I won’t make trouble for you!"
Before Felyn could even reply, Zervanie already darted toward the street, ready to begin her observation.
"Hey! You forgot your hat!"
Felyn sighed and slowly followed behind her.
Once today’s task ended—
He probably wouldn’t see her again.
Zervanie, go on and keep being the shining hope under the spotlight for everyone.
And I… I’ll keep being just an ordinary person—unnoticed, unimportant, yet quietly bearing the sufferings of the ordinary people.
(End of Chapter)