When she realized that what Felyn was referring to was money—and also realized that she hadn’t even rejected Felyn’s so-called “adult conversation”—
Instead, she’d exposed her chest to him after covering it just moments before—Zervanie instantly went red-hot with embarrassment.
Damn it!
He just insulted me in the cake shop in front of so many people, said I was barely smart enough to remember to eat—
Then mentioned things like going through my belongings after I died, like he didn’t care at all, like I meant nothing to him.
And now—now he’s teasing me again?! I finally worked up the courage to overcome my shame just to talk about “adult topics” with you!
Zervanie imagined herself slamming the table and cursing him out right there.
But when she looked at Felyn’s face… those words got stuck in her throat.
Her eyes welled up with tears. She bit her lip tightly, her expression a mix of shame and frustration.
“Felyn… you… you’re bullying me.”
That was all she could squeeze out.
“I’m not, though. In the adult world—aren’t transactions about mutual benefit?”
Felyn spread his hands.
Wait. Zervanie was actually this innocent?
He’d thought that after reading so many steamy novels, Zervanie would be more wild and open.
“I’ll transfer it to you already!”
She pouted, pulled out her bank card, and tapped a few buttons.
30,000 crowns received.
Yes! Nothing brings joy quite like money.
Seeing the notification, Felyn’s grin was impossible to hide.
Harems full of girls? Fake. This money—this was real. The more money, the better.
Seeing Felyn’s widening smile, Zervanie couldn’t help but smile.
“Geez… you’re really that happy?”
Fans usually spend 50,000 to 60,000 crowns just to see me from a distance.
But I’m standing right in front of you.
I even agreed to talk about “adult topics” with you, and you weren’t half as happy then.
Am I really that unattractive in your heart?
The sunlight filtered into the narrow alleyway, casting patchy shadows across the ground through the gap between tall buildings.
“Since the deal’s done, I do have something to say.”
Felyn tucked his baton gently back into his pocket as he spoke.
“After today, you should stop with that dangerous ‘observation’ project. Or at least get yourself some bodyguards. That really was dangerous today.”
Zervanie was now the most popular idol in the empire.
Her sweet voice and beauty had drawn in countless crazed fans.
One or two bad apples weren’t scary—but when there were so many fans, it was inevitable that some of them would turn dangerous.
If she got recognized, who knows what they’d try to do?
Zervanie’s lips tugged into a reluctant smile.
“I can’t do that… not something like that.”
She leaned against the wall, voice low.
“If I don’t observe others’ emotions, I can’t figure out how to show the perfect face in front of them.”
Felyn frowned. He had always wondered why Zervanie was so obsessed with appearing perfect in front of everyone.
“Then just don’t act perfect all the time. Just be presentable in public—it’s not like your fans will hate you for being a bit real.”
Zervanie gave a bitter smile and shook her head. The warm sunlight brushed her cheeks, as if trying to soften that sad smile.
“A few years ago, I wasn’t this famous. My family didn’t pay me much attention either, so they didn’t screen the servants very carefully.
Back then, I was careless—like two different people onstage and off. I never thought about keeping up an image privately. But I didn’t realize there was a new maid always watching me from the shadows.
She was a crazy fan who had idolized me for two years. She spent all her savings and even borrowed a large sum of money just to buy her way into my service—just to see me up close.
When she realized the Zervanie she saw wasn’t what she imagined—she broke. In despair, one night she came into my room with a knife.”
Zervanie let out a breath and subconsciously touched her lower abdomen.
“Luckily, I hadn’t fallen asleep yet. My scream brought the guards quickly, but not before she cut me with the blade.
I’ll never forget the hatred in her eyes. She screamed that I’d deceived her—that I wasn’t the perfect idol she believed in.
The healing seals kicked in quickly, so I never had a scar. But the pain—and her eyes—were burned into my memory.”
From that day on, Zervanie repressed all her real emotions.
But that only made her negative feelings pile up—more and more.
Like a balloon that kept expanding, and Zervanie could only watch it grow without any way to deflate it.
What she needed at that time was someone she could trust—someone who could help her let the air out of that balloon.
Someone who saw her real self but didn’t run away—someone who wouldn’t hurt her.
That person was Felyn.
Even if he was someone she hired, that small figure had left a deep imprint in her heart.
So when their contract neared its end, Zervanie panicked. She wanted to keep Felyn by her side forever—and proposed secret marriage.
But Felyn didn’t accept.
When the contract expired, he still left.
Zervanie panicked even more. Without Felyn, she couldn’t even make it through a single day.
She tried desperately to find him, to bring him back.
When she saw Felyn appear in her estate with Adeline, she almost lost her mind.
Even after that, Zervanie still convinced herself Felyn wouldn’t really leave her. After all—she was Zervanie.
Or rather, she had built a fantasy where she blocked out the harsh truth—that Felyn could and would leave her.
But after the Wood Seal tournament ended, that fantasy shattered completely.
Felyn wasn’t alone.
He could live without her.
After calming down, Zervanie finally started to think.
She began to understand why Felyn would intentionally avoid her, even refuse to be around her.
And she finally realized something—
The demands she made of him, and the way she still treated him like he belonged to her even after the contract ended…
Maybe that really was too much.
Without realizing it, she had assumed Felyn would unconditionally accept everything about her.
She kept clinging to him without seeing anything wrong with it.
She never used to understand how those obsessed fans could fall for her perfect public image.
Now she understood.
Zervanie had been clinging to the perfect version of Felyn in her mind.
But even money couldn’t heal the damage she had caused to his heart.
Just like…
Just like the scar from her stab wound—no matter how healed—left behind a shadow that could never be erased.
What… What have I done?
“Felyn, everything I did over the past few months—it was all just because I didn’t want you to leave me. I wasn’t used to not having you around.”
Her voice trembled. Her eyes were red, and the breeze made a few strands of her hair drift across her face, covering the expression of fragility beneath.
“My behavior—it’s just… I was too upset without you...”
Tears welled up, and she bit her lip hard to stop them from falling.
With her hands behind her back, she stood with her head bowed in front of Felyn.
Above them, laundry fluttered in the sun, merging with the blue sky into a quiet mural.
The everyday sounds of the commercial district rustled the flowerpots above them, as if bowing their heads to witness this long-overdue apology.
“I... I thought you’d always be by my side.”
Her voice cracked visibly.
“I never imagined you’d actually leave. So I let myself dump all my worst feelings on you. I never thought about how you felt. I know I was wrong, Felyn.”
At last, tears slid down her cheeks. She didn’t reach up to wipe them.
“Ugh… it sucks. Everyone always thinks of me as perfect first. But you—when you think of me, you only remember the bad stuff. Even though… even though you’re the most important person to me…”
(End of Chapter)