No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!? – 87
EP.87 Boundaries and Barriers (5)
As we stepped out of the pool, I found myself involuntarily swallowing hard at the sight of water cascading down Ria’s body. No matter how much I tried to draw the line between us, it wasn’t easy to look away from something so undeniably beautiful. Still, I forced myself to avert my gaze. I would have to get used to it sooner or later, but right now, the stimulation was too much.
Even after becoming a woman, my body still reacted to desire. That was only natural. No matter how this body was designed to be connected to that higher being’s power, it was still, at the end of the day, a human body.
“Pwah!?”
Just as I was struggling to keep my eyes down, my vision was suddenly blocked completely. Ria had thrown something at my face.
For a brief moment, I panicked—had she caught me staring at her chest? But thankfully, the thing that landed on my head was just a large towel.
“You’re going to have to shower anyway.”
Ria said it casually before heading toward the shower room.
I pressed the towel against my face, pretending to dry off as I covered my eyes.
She was right. There was no way I could just skip washing up after being in the pool. My long hair would take some time to dry though.
…And then, I found myself flustered all over again.
Just like the changing room was designed for multiple people, the showers were also communal. That meant Ria and I would be washing up in the same space.
I quickly made my way to the farthest corner of the shower area. The only saving grace was that each showerhead was inside its own stall. As long as I stayed within the frosted glass partition, I wouldn’t accidentally catch a glimpse of Ria—unless I deliberately moved to where the mirror reflected her side. But I could still hear everything. The sound of the water turning on, the steady stream hitting Ria’s skin. It was like the gentle rush of rainwater running down a sloped path. The faint splashing of her feet moving across the wet tiles…
“You did pretty well for your first time.”
Ria’s voice echoed through the shower room.
“You’re still a little shaky, but if you take your time and keep practicing, you’ll get better.”
“……”
I pouted slightly.
For Ria to know how to swim, she must have learned from someone else too. She must have worn a swimsuit back then as well. Probably not a bikini like now, but still—
…What am I even thinking?
“That’s good to hear,” I replied, trying my best to sound indifferent.
“I’ll make sure I don’t slow you down.”
“…I never thought of you as a burden.”
Ah. My words must have come out too sharp. I should’ve just apologized, but I hesitated, unsure of what to say. Instead, I stepped under the stream of warm water and let it pour over my face.
For a while, only the sound of falling water filled the space. I couldn’t tell if that silence was a relief or just uncomfortable. Even after thinking about it for a long time, I couldn’t quite decide.
*
Ria often grumbled at me, nitpicked the things I did, or got a little annoyed, but at the core of it, she was always good to me. Maybe because she wasn’t good at expressing herself, her words sometimes came out sharp, but in the end, she always acted like someone who wanted to take care of me.
Today was no different.
To make sure I picked out a swimsuit, Ria went so far as to rent out an entire swimwear store. And I, in turn, complained the entire time. I argued over every swimsuit she picked out, nitpicking each one. I even chose something—well, something that suited her but was incredibly embarrassing—for her to wear.
We bickered a little, but in the end, Ria let me have my way. She picked out something that made me feel at least a little less self-conscious and chose that red swimsuit for herself.
And, of course, she paid for everything.
"Anna."
"Huh?"
Had I been too lost in my own thoughts?
Ria called my name with a slightly uncertain expression. I lifted my head to look at her. Yeah. Even now, she was doing the same thing.
We were at a restaurant. Not just any restaurant—another one of the places Ria was well acquainted with. Normally, we would have eaten at the convent. I had never thought the food there was bad. It was probably well-balanced and nutritious. But it wasn’t exactly a luxurious meal. For Ria, who had grown up as the daughter of a famous hero, it must have seemed utterly cheap.
Now, we were at a rather high-end restaurant. The menu was impressive. To be honest, even in my past life, I had never properly dined at a place like this.
I had taken a bite just moments ago, and after a lifetime of eating nothing but the convent’s plain, healthy meals, the flavors were almost overwhelmingly rich. In a good way.
A thick, juicy steak.
The sauce alone must have been simmered for hours, deep and complex in flavor. With each bite, the tender meat pressed gently between my teeth, and the juices that had been sealed within spilled onto my tongue, spreading smoothly through my mouth. After just one bite, I was already wondering if I should even be eating this.
"Does it not suit your taste?"
Ria asked, her expression tinged with concern.
And I found myself feeling even more confused about this whole situation.
"It’s not that. If I’m being honest… it’s so good it almost feels too good."
I answered seriously, setting my knife and fork down.
I had already taken a bite, so it wasn’t like I could give this to someone else now. Not that I could have, even if I hadn’t touched it. Once food was placed in front of someone, it was theirs. If I had wanted to refuse, I should have done it the moment we walked in. But Ria had already made the reservation. And considering how exclusive this place seemed, I could only imagine how much effort had gone into securing it. I couldn’t bring myself to turn it down, and so I had ended up here.
"What, is it a problem for a nun to eat something too delicious?"
Maybe. I wasn’t entirely sure, but maybe that was the case. Because, well, I was a nun. Most religions demanded a life of restraint from those who devoted themselves to their faith. Then again, considering that priests were still allowed to drink alcohol, maybe it wasn’t such a strict rule after all. But still, sitting here in a high-end restaurant, cutting into a steak while wearing a nun’s habit—it felt absurd.
"Or… are you upset because I brought you here without asking? Do you want to leave?"
When I didn’t answer, Ria, looking slightly uneasy, asked again.
I quietly shook my head.
I wasn’t angry.
If I were being completely honest—yeah. From the moment Ria had taken me here, looking like she had high expectations, I had felt a bit excited too.
A restaurant that was obviously expensive.
A table that was obviously expensive.
From where we sat, the entire cityscape of Seoul stretched out before us. It wasn’t the tallest building in the country or anything, but it was high enough compared to the surrounding structures that the view of the city was spectacular. And as if she had been conscious of the fact that we were both wearing nun’s habits, Ria had chosen a seat where we wouldn’t be easily seen by others.
If it had been just me, there was no way I would have been able to afford a meal here. The only reason I was able to sit here and eat was because Ria was paying for everything.
"…Ria, can I say something serious?"
"Huh? Oh—yeah, of course."
After hesitating for a moment, I pulled my chair back slightly and bowed my head toward her.
A little steak sauce getting on my hair didn’t really matter, but honestly, I didn’t want to ruin a steak that was probably way more expensive than my hair.
"Anna…?"
Ria sounded alarmed.
I might have just witnessed the most shocked expression I’d ever seen on her face. Even when I had asked her to charge into enemy territory with me, she hadn’t looked this surprised.
"I just… felt like doing this. I’m sorry, Ria."
"…Sorry? What for?"
She repeated, her voice slightly dazed.
"You went out of your way to take care of me all day today."
Why had she suggested going to the beach?
Because she probably thought I had never been before. She had no idea about my past life. She had offered to teach me how to swim, even though she made excuses for it—because she assumed I had never learned before.
And bringing me here…
It was all for the same reason.
"But all I did was complain."
I lifted my head.
Ria was staring at me, a blank expression on her face. She stayed like that for a moment, mouth slightly open, before tilting her head back and gazing up at the ceiling. Then, she carefully set down her fork and knife, exhaling deeply as she ran both hands over her face.
And with a long sigh, she murmured,
"Oh Anna…"
Her voice carried a weight of exasperation and something else I couldn't quite place.
"That’s not what you're supposed to say right now."
"Huh?"
I blinked at her in confusion.
Then, without warning, Ria shot up from her seat. Thanks to the carpet beneath the chair, it didn’t make much noise.
For a fleeting moment, I wondered—how do they even clean a place like this? It had to be way more complicated than cleaning a fast-food joint. But my thoughts didn’t get far because Ria, instead of staying on her side of the table, strode around it.
"But still, I—mmph!?"
Startled by her sudden approach, I had instinctively started to protest—only for Ria to cut me off.
With both hands, she cupped my face. Before I could even react, she tilted my chin up, forcing my eyes to meet hers. She was close. Too close.
And then, in a slow, deliberate voice, she said,
"This is not the time for apologies."
She enunciated each word clearly, like she was making absolutely sure I understood.
"Instead, tell me what you felt today."
Her tone was firm, almost demanding.
…If I said the wrong thing, I felt like she really would eat me alive.
She was close enough that I could feel her breath, close enough that it felt like she had completely disregarded the invisible boundary I had carefully placed between us.