When Lin Nan returned home to get his luggage, it was already five in the afternoon.
He pushed open the front door and saw his mother pacing back and forth in the living room. When she saw him, she immediately rushed forward with surprise and joy.
"Where did you go this afternoon! I called you but couldn't get through, and you didn't respond to my WeChat messages. Your father was just speaking in anger—he was mad at me, don't be upset!"
Lin Nan just looked up, forced a smile, then took off his shoes and walked straight toward his room.
Only then did his mother notice that Lin Nan's best friend Chen Yao had also come along.
"Come in and sit for a while?"
"No need," Chen Yao politely shook his head, standing outside the door.
"Then you're..."
Before Chen Yao could answer, Lin Nan had already come out with his suitcase and told his mother what he planned to do next.
His mother became flustered and quickly stepped forward to hold down the suitcase, asking in confusion: "Didn't we agree you'd take a month off for surgery?"
"I'll think about it when I'm ready."
"What about your health?"
"I'll save money for the surgery myself. You should discuss with him how to divide assets in the divorce. My situation isn't that important." Lin Nan kept his head down, using his overly long bangs to hide his emotions. He shook off his mother's hand and walked straight out the door with his suitcase.
His mother's tears fell like raindrops, but Lin Nan left with Chen Yao without looking back.
Lin Nan felt his behavior wasn't very good, but overwhelmed by emotion, he couldn't think about much else. Chen Yao wanted to say something, but seeing Lin Nan's current state, he didn't dare say more, afraid of accidentally upsetting him further.
Walking downstairs to the narrow streets of the urban village, Lin Nan randomly flagged down a three-wheeler. Without asking the price, he silently got in the vehicle.
Chen Yao hurriedly followed, then looked up at Lin Nan's mother chasing after them from the stairwell. He couldn't help but say to Lin Nan:
"Isn't this a bit inappropriate?"
"Yeah."
"Then why are you..."
Lin Nan remained silent. Right now he was too lazy to think about so much—he just wanted to quickly escape this city and leave his parents' sight.
He sighed softly, leaning against the back of the private three-wheeler's seat, closing his eyes while his body trembled slightly.
He didn't want to take out his anger with his father on his mother, but he just couldn't suppress this urge to flee. This city now felt like a nightmare that could tear open all his wounds.
When the three-wheeler arrived at the bullet train station, their scheduled train happened to be arriving as well.
The two briefly separated, and Lin Nan found his seat and sat down, then pressed his head against the window, looking at the scenery outside with a melancholy expression.
Not long after, Chen Yao suddenly appeared with his luggage.
A girl who looked to be in her twenties was already sitting next to Lin Nan. Chen Yao felt too embarrassed to ask her to switch seats, so he simply stood in the aisle, looking at Lin Nan with worry and a headache.
As the saying goes, even wise officials can't judge family matters, and he wasn't even an official—just Lin Nan's friend. At most he could try to help Lin Nan vent his emotions and make him laugh, but no matter what, he couldn't solve Lin Nan's problems.
He found an empty spot to put his luggage and stood sideways in the aisle, trying not to disturb other passengers or crew members passing by. He occasionally glanced at the dejected Lin Nan, only hoping Lin Nan had a strong enough heart to get through this blow.
Honestly, he had considered that Lin Nan's parents might have extreme reactions, but he never expected Lin Nan's father to say such things.
What did he mean by "let him fend for himself"... Those words might be fine to say to a gambling addict, but what had Lin Nan done wrong? Wasn't it because his parents had never paid attention to Lin Nan that he only discovered his physical problems now, and only because Lin Nan had the awareness to get examined?
If Lin Nan hadn't been conscious about getting checkups, would they have had to wait until he got sick, or even until he was dying, for his parents to react?
Chen Yao complained mentally about Lin Nan's irresponsible parents while worriedly buying a pack of tissues from the attendant.
"Here."
He reached over the girl sitting on the outside and dropped the tissues directly onto Lin Nan's lap.
"Boyfriend and girlfriend?" The girl looked up at Chen Yao and proactively stood up. "Where are you sitting? I'll switch seats with you."
"Car 4, seat 06F. Thank you."
The girl stood up and struggled to get her luggage from the overhead compartment. Chen Yao quickly helped her.
"Your girlfriend doesn't seem to be in a good mood," the girl said kindly after finally getting her luggage on the ground. "But just being there for her is good."
"Yeah, thank you."
Only then did Chen Yao sit beside Lin Nan and turn to look, but he could only see the back of Lin Nan's head.
He tried not to let himself sigh, afraid his emotions might affect Lin Nan.
After hesitating for a moment, he suddenly reached out and grasped Lin Nan's hand.
Lin Nan was startled by this action and turned around, looking at him with reddened eyes. But he didn't struggle, just leaned back against his seat weakly.
Lin Nan's palm was ice cold, as if he were holding a block of ice. This made Chen Yao's heart ache even more for him, and he tried his best to wrap Lin Nan's hand with his larger one.
But Lin Nan barely reacted, still looking out the window just as before.
Much later, when the bullet train entered a tunnel and it was completely dark outside, Lin Nan suddenly asked in a low voice: "Do you think if I really became a girl, my dad's reaction would be even worse?"
"Maybe, but I think he was just speaking in anger, deliberately trying to upset your mom."
"..." He sighed softly and muttered to himself, "It would be better if none of this had happened. I feel so sorry for them."
He felt his heart being crazily condemned, especially when he thought of his mother's appearance—his heart shattered into pieces.
"That's their mess to deal with."
He was silent for a moment: "You don't know the situation."
Chen Yao didn't understand what other secrets Lin Nan was hiding. In his view, this matter was absolutely not Lin Nan's fault.
Lin Nan tried to pull his hand away, but Chen Yao's basketball-playing hand was so much larger than his that once caught, he couldn't break free at all.
But being held by that warm, even slightly hot hand did make him feel much more secure, though it felt uncomfortably gay.
Well, he was going to become a woman sooner or later anyway.
So he gave up resisting and even proactively rested his head on Chen Yao's shoulder.
Most other families' children would consider their parents the most secure harbor, but for Lin Nan, being beside Chen Yao made him feel more at peace.
"It's okay, it's okay." Chen Yao didn't hesitate much before embracing Lin Nan's head and holding him in his arms. "This will all pass. I'm here."
When the bullet train emerged from the dark tunnel, Lin Nan finally calmed down, closing his eyes and feeling the sense of security Chen Yao was trying so hard to convey to him.