Translator: Elisia
Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle
━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━
The phone rings.
That means someone is looking for Han Si-Hoo.
I failed.
I lost the doctor, and the drugs can no longer treat me.
I must have made a mistake trying to build drug resistance by injecting dozens at a time.
No matter how strong Han Si-Hoo's mental fortitude is, he used too many drugs.
I no longer hear the voice urging me that time is running out.
I failed anyway.
There's no cure, nothing at all.
The one calling is Rena.
I have no intention of answering.
She’ll just ask where I am.
I should break the phone.
Han Si-Hoo searches for his phone, but he can't find it.
Because the phone had already been broken and was rolling on the ground.
"...Ah."
Hallucinations and auditory hallucinations.
Maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping well.
I'm using a sleep skill to rest, but even that is unstable.
"Damn..."
Still, I take more drugs.
[Drug Resistance IX]
One more level up, and I feel like something will happen.
So, I keep injecting more drugs.
If even this doesn’t work, there's no hope.
-Restart? Restart? Restart?
"Shut up."
Han Si-Hoo knows.
The skill description never contains lies.
If it’s a skill that can only be used when giving up everything, then something is definitely wrong.
An escape that seems easy is just a dangerous choice.
-Restart? Restart? Restart?
Since it's ruined, just another round?
As if tempting me.
Can I really think of life as a game?
Han Si-Hoo knows that this world is nothing more than a giant theater.
Everyone else is just extras.
The protagonist is Han Si-Hoo himself.
So, he can do whatever he wants.
But being able to do anything doesn't mean he can actually do everything.
I couldn't save Seo-Ah.
I could have, if it were the Seo-Ah from the past.
So, if she had used the drugs but hadn’t been this broken...
If it were just that much, I could have saved her.
-Restart? Restart? Restart?
It's time to take the drugs.
Was this how Seo-Ah felt too?
Han Si-Hoo looks around.
He checks where he left the drugs.
The amount for today was stored in the drawer.
"Drugs..."
Did I use them all?
No way.
"...They're gone."
Actually, I know why.
I know why the drugs aren’t in the drawer.
I saw Seo-Ah opening and closing the drawer.
So, the culprit must be Seo-Ah.
Han Si-Hoo stands up to confront Seo-Ah.
Of course, even if some drugs are missing, I can always get more.
Still, I want to ask Seo-Ah.
Why did she take them?
"Seo-Ah?"
Maybe she did it because she was worried about me.
Even I think I’ve been using too many drugs.
So, I understand.
I'll have to persuade Seo-Ah not to do this.
I won’t scold her.
"Seo-Ah? Are you in your room?"
What is she doing inside?
"I'm coming in."
Creak, the door opens.
I see a syringe.
Seo-Ah really did take the drugs.
"Ah, Si-Hoo, um. Ah, that’s..."
The used syringe rolls on the floor.
I hadn't thought she would actually use them.
I had been giving her pills separately.
I thought that was enough to suppress it.
"I accidentally... used it."
There are needle marks on her palm.
She must have pricked herself while moving the syringe.
"Hah, ahaha. Why did you use this alone?"
One syringe might be a mistake, but all five syringes she took are empty.
Seo-Ah is already drowning in pleasure.
-I told you, you can’t stop her. Just give up.
-You should just take the drugs and end it.
I can’t blame Seo-Ah.
I know because I’ve used drugs too.
Once you're addicted, there’s no way out.
"Give me more drugs. This one."
-She’s not the Seo-Ah you know anymore.
No, this is the Seo-Ah I know.
Han Si-Hoo mumbles to himself.
"...Why did you take them?"
"Because you were using too many drugs, ahaha. But, you actually weren’t using that much, hehe."
"...If you take any more, you'll probably die."
It’s strange.
Seo-Ah didn’t die.
She might have a higher resistance than I do, even though I have the Drug Resistance skill.
It’s as if she was born to take drugs.
Maybe that’s the truth.
Originally, Yoo Seo-Ah’s only role was to take drugs.
"I don't know, let’s take more!"
I have no reason to tell her to stop.
Because I’m using drugs too.
I no longer know what the right thing to do is.
Han Si-Hoo hands over two or three syringes he was carrying.
Seo-Ah smiles brightly and takes them.
"Are there more?"
Of course.
An endless amount.
Now, there's no reason not to give them.
"Wow..."
I take out all the drugs stored in my inventory.
It’s the first time I’ve seen Seo-Ah this happy.
Han Si-Hoo sits back down at the living room table.
Thinking about why life turned out this way.
Life had been ruined from the very first step.
I lost my parents in an accident.
If that accident hadn't happened, wouldn’t Si-Hoo and Seo-Ah both be living normal lives?
If this world weren’t so strange, with monsters appearing and Awakeners fighting them.
My parents died, and I have no other family.
The childhood friend I had left is now in the next room, laughing while taking drugs.
And I’m no different from her.
-Restart? Restart? Restart?
"...I want to die."
In the end, I think about something I didn’t want to.
I just want to make everything meaningless.
Han Si-Hoo has already reached his limit.
Pushing past limits should be done in moderation.
Now, it feels like the whole world is crushing him.
Honestly, It’s Amazing.
That I’m only now barely thinking about dying.
Some people say they’ll try drugs just before they die.
Since they’re going to die anyway, they want to experience pleasure before they go.
Have I already indulged in enough pleasure that it’s time to die?
I stagger as I get up.
What should I do?
-Restart? Restart? Restart?
The combination of drug effects and the purification penalty is awful.
It feels like my whole body is being eaten away by insects.
Setting all that aside, my body just doesn’t feel right.
It’s because I haven’t slept.
Or maybe I caught a cold.
Han Si-Hoo slowly walks out the door.
Seo-Ah wouldn’t even notice now.
No matter who leaves the house or not.
***
"...Uhh."
I’m out of drugs.
"Si-Hoo, give me some more..."
How much time has passed?
It’s night.
That means it’s time to sleep.
"Uh..."
Si-Hoo is nowhere to be seen.
It’s been a while since I last saw him.
I thought we were taking drugs together.
Now that I think about it, I’m the only one in this room.
"...Uh..."
I finally realized that something was wrong.
Why did Si-Hoo give me so many drugs?
Because he likes me?
"...Si-Hoo?"
Is that why?
So I could be happy?
Crash.
I try to get up, but I collapse onto the floor.
Something feels wrong.
As the pleasure fades, the pain slowly creeps in.
But that’s not what’s important.
I go to the living room to check if Si-Hoo is there.
His shoes aren’t by the entrance.
"...He left?"
Even if I step outside into the dark, I don’t think I’ll find him.
If I wait, he’ll come back.
I’ll wait inside the house.
I sit in the chair Si-Hoo was sitting in.
And I think about where he might have gone.
He wouldn’t have abandoned me, right?
Yeah, thinking like this is just my paranoia.
So, I’ll wait with peace of mind.
Si-Hoo likes me.
I’m sure of it.
He gave me so many drugs.
Even though I already used them all.
Yeah, he probably went to get more.
That’s all.
Sitting here like this reminds me of when I was a kid.
A long time ago.
Back when I still had parents.
Si-Hoo thinks I lost my parents in an accident.
That they were killed in a monster attack.
That’s partly true.
Half of it, at least.
-Seo-Ah, open up.
He said that as he handed me a candy.
It was back when we were playing at the playground.
I hadn’t been able to go out for a while, so I was happy to be outside with my mom.
We had snacks and ate the lunch my mom packed.
Looking back, she was a good mother.
And that was my last memory of her.
I never saw her again.
I don’t know.
Did she get attacked by monsters or something?
No, now I know for sure.
She just abandoned me.
Because I was annoying and a burden.
I tried to forget, but in the end, I remembered it.
Why am I recalling this now, of all times?
"...No."
There’s a pattern.
My mother gave me delicious food and played with me all day at the playground, making me happy.
Si-Hoo gave me drugs, and then gave me even more, making me incredibly happy.
The point is, they gave me things they usually wouldn’t.
And then my mother abandoned me.
So, does that mean Han Si-Hoo is abandoning me too?
Why does this feel so familiar?
This overwhelming despair—it’s painfully familiar.
"Ah, aha, ahaha, no way. No way."
That can’t be.
Si-Hoo said he wouldn’t abandon me.
He said everything he was doing was for me.
Maybe he just went out for a walk.
Ah, yeah, I should go outside.
Whenever I left the house, Si-Hoo always noticed right away and rushed over.
As if he had some kind of surveillance system on me.
Click—the doorknob turns, and the door opens.
"Si-Hoo."
I take a step outside.
Then a few more steps.
By now, Si-Hoo should be running toward me from somewhere.
Telling me not to go outside.
"Si-Hoo? Where are you?"
But nothing.
No one is here.
I consider going further out to search for him, but I don’t know the area well.
It’s ridiculous.
This is my home, yet I have no idea what’s nearby.
If I leave, and Si-Hoo comes back while I’m gone, that would be a problem.
So, I should just stay close to home.
He’ll be back soon, right?
I’m sure he will.