Chapter 377: Insomnia Smash Project (4)
‘What should I do?’
Jung Siwoo rested his sharply contoured chin, which had grown more pronounced due to several sleepless nights, lightly on his hand as he slowly observed his two younger brothers sitting before him.
‘It’s annoying, but…’
He found out that Hajin and Doha had been asking around about him through Enderway’s Choi Yeonwoo.
– “Siwoo, you must feel good.”
– “Yeah, it’s nice.”
– “I haven’t even said what’s nice yet?”
– “Whatever it is, my life is generally pretty good.”
He recalled the conversation he had with Choi Yeonwoo, whom he had coincidentally met in the company’s artist lounge.
Choi Yeonwoo, who had dyed his hair yellow in preparation for their comeback, was lounging on the sofa with a mischievous smile plastered on his face. Then, with a slightly concerned voice, he asked,
– “Are you still having trouble sleeping?”
– “Who told you that?”
– “Your leader.”
– “…Hajin?”
– “Yeah, he called me. Asked if I knew anything that’s good for insomnia, so I passed on some tips, as a senior should.”
It was true that his insomnia had gotten worse recently.
Not only did he have trouble falling asleep, but even when he did, he often woke up from nightmares or awoke too soon. He was well aware that his physical condition wasn’t great, but it wasn’t something he cared much about since it was a recurring issue around this time of year.
In fact, compared to previous years, he was relatively in better shape this time around.
“…So, what I’m trying to say is, I did consider asking you directly. But you know how things are sometimes, right? Some issues are a bit sensitive. You get what I mean, right? So, really, it’s not like I was intentionally snooping behind your back…! No, this is so frustrating. Hey, Doha, you explain. When I talk, it sounds like a lame excuse! But it’s not!”
Siwoo’s unusually deep and dark eyes slowly moved.
He could clearly see that Hajin was worried he might make another slip of the tongue and cause a repeat of the last incident. But Doha being there too was a bit unexpected.
“…The idea to ask people around you was actually mine.”
Moreover, the fact that Doha was the mastermind behind this absurd ‘background investigation’ idea was also surprising.
Jung Siwoo nodded, as if signaling him to continue. Doha, showing rare signs of nervousness, went on.
“We didn’t mean to deceive you. We knew it wasn’t a matter to take lightly, and we wanted to judge whether it was even our place to get involved. So, we decided to ask people who knew you better.”
“……”
“We didn’t consider that it might feel disrespectful if you found out about the process. I’m sorry.”
Jung Siwoo calmly pondered over the apology.
‘Should I get angry?’
But he wasn’t angry.
In fact, he hadn’t been from the start. From the moment he found out about the situation, Siwoo hadn’t felt any anger.
At first, he was just bewildered. Then, he was curious about what they were thinking, and then annoyed, wondering why they felt the need to investigate him like that.
“We were wrong.”
“About what?”
“About asking around about you behind your back.”
But now, with his younger brothers in front of him, nervously explaining themselves and worried about his feelings, the emotion he felt was, well…
‘…Kind of endearing.’
It was a completely different feeling from the convenience store incident last time.
Maybe it was because he had regained more of his physical and mental strength compared to then. Or maybe it was something more fundamental that had changed.
As he pondered what it could be, Gong Seok, who was sitting beside him, checked the time and spoke up.
“Well, you guys can sort out the rest among yourselves. I have something scheduled, so I’ll get going.”
“Alright. I’ll call you.”
Whether he truly had something to attend to or just couldn’t handle the tension of this intense group confrontation, Siwoo didn’t bother to stop Seok, who quickly gathered his things and stood up.
It seemed like Hajin and Doha were pleading with their eyes, hoping he wouldn’t leave, but unfortunately, Seok didn’t catch that telepathy. He packed his stuff and stood up swiftly. Before leaving the table entirely, Seok lightly tapped Siwoo’s shoulder a couple of times and smiled softly.
“Don’t scold them too much.”
“Scold them?”
“They’re endearing, though. …Anyway, I’m really leaving now. Good luck with the comeback prep.”
“Yeah. Take care.”
“Hyung, Seok-hyung, remember what I told you. You must memorize your name and military number as soon as you arrive, okay? You know that, right?”
“Please take care, hyung. Stay healthy.”
With Doha’s polite farewell, Gong Seok fully disappeared out of the café. With the only herbivore in the group gone, a heavy silence settled back over the table.
Doha wasn’t much of a talker to begin with, Jung Siwoo didn’t feel the need to say anything, and Kang Hajin was being extra cautious, clearly aware that saying the wrong thing could lead to disaster.
“……”
Jung Siwoo gently brushed back his bangs, which he had been growing out since the <End of Youth> promotions. They had grown long enough now that if he didn’t blow-dry them properly in the morning, they would slightly cover his eyes, falling over his smooth forehead.
He tilted his head slightly and tapped Hajin’s iced tea, which had condensation dripping down the glass, with his finger. Then, when he lifted his gaze again, Hajin was looking at him with that same familiar expression.
Those eyes… filled with reverence, as if he had discovered something that shouldn’t exist in this world.
Siwoo smirked and playfully asked,
“Hajin, what are you thinking?”
“…Can I be honest?”
“Yeah.”
“I was just thinking about how that hairstyle really, really suits you…”
“What else?”
“That it’s such a relief that Kairos has Jung Siwoo in the group…?”
“Do you find me scary, or are you just fascinated by me?”
Jung Siwoo asked seriously. Even after spending two years together, he still couldn’t quite figure out what kind of person Kang Hajin was.
Sometimes, it seemed like Hajin found him intimidating, but other times, it felt like he understood Siwoo better than anyone else.
Sometimes, it seemed like Hajin was curious about him, but other times, it appeared as if he had no interest at all.
Just moments ago, Hajin had been anxiously tapping his fingers, worried about whether Siwoo was upset, but now, here he was, nonchalantly making playful comments about his appearance.
“Uh…”
As if he couldn’t understand Siwoo’s question, Hajin scratched his cheek and answered.
“I’m not really scared.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Last year, Kang Hajin had trembled at the mere sight of me, leading to a huge argument. But now, he nodded calmly, as if that had never happened. It was as if he had already forgotten how, just moments ago, he had asked his friend to explain for him, claiming his own words sounded like excuses.
However, Kang Hajin’s brazenness didn’t stop there.
“Hyung.”
“Speak.”
“Just let it go, this once.”
“What?”
“Honestly, you’re not that mad right now, are you?”
Kang Hajin, who had been on edge just moments before, leaned forward, returning to his usual cheeky self. Intrigued by the sudden shift in his demeanor, Siwoo raised an eyebrow.
Instead of the innocent, harmless smile he had flashed earlier—the one Siwoo had firmly rejected—Hajin wore his signature confident, relaxed grin.
“Come on, hyung. Let it slide.”
I know you’re not really mad.
That confident, shameless attitude finally broke Siwoo’s resolve, and he burst out laughing.
* * *
“Haha! This is hilarious.”
The moment I saw Jung Siwoo laughing heartily, I knew my instincts had been right.
He wasn’t really upset by this situation.
“…So you weren’t lying when you said you weren’t scared, huh?”
In fact, he almost seemed pleased.
‘Grabbing me by the throat was off-limits, but asking around about me is okay? His standards are pretty confusing.’
Honestly, I was a bit puzzled about what made this situation different from before, but if it meant avoiding another disaster like last time, I was all for it.
Siwoo, still laughing in satisfaction at my response, nodded as if he had finally given in and spoke.
“Yeah, you’re right. Honestly, I’m not really upset. I don’t know why you bothered asking others about me, though—you wouldn’t have gotten much from them anyway. But I get why you did it.”
As Siwoo leaned back comfortably, my built-in radar from nearly 30 years of life experience went off.
If there was ever a time to ask him something, it was now.
Not missing the opportunity, I seized the moment and asked all at once.
“Then, why don’t you tell me?”
“……”
“Your insomnia’s gotten worse recently, right? Is it because of your father? Are you sure you don’t need help?”
I had a feeling that if I didn’t ask everything now, I wouldn’t get another chance. So, I decided to get it all out while I had the opening.
To be honest, unless Siwoo was under some kind of attack from Dolja related to the past timeline, all the issues he was dealing with were purely his own.
Even if I learned more about them, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to help him much.
“You’ve been having nightmares more often, right? Is it about your father? You said things were fine when you were getting counseling.”
But ignoring what I already knew wasn’t in my nature.
Besides, after realizing how clueless Siwoo could be about taking care of himself—just like me—I couldn’t leave it alone.
“……”
“……?”
I waited for Siwoo’s response after throwing all those questions at him, but for some reason, there was no reply.
Wondering what was going on, I looked at his face and saw that Siwoo genuinely looked surprised. His expression was almost identical to when I had grabbed him by the collar earlier.
‘Why isn’t he saying anything?’
I had expected him to retort, but complete silence wasn’t something I had anticipated, and it threw me off a bit. Worried I had messed up again, I quickly glanced at Doha sitting beside me. But Doha was calmly eating his tiramisu, his expression unbothered.
I wanted to ask him how he could be so relaxed in this situation, but the fact that the ever-level-headed Doha remained so composed was a good sign. So, I followed his lead and kept my mouth shut, waiting for Siwoo’s next move.
“…Haha.”
“…?”
“Hahaha, pfft, ahaha!”
Was he trying to organize his thoughts, or was he just coming to terms with the situation?
After a long silence, Siwoo suddenly burst out laughing.
It wasn’t the kind of frustrated chuckle that had escaped him earlier, but a genuine laugh, filled with good humor.
“What, what’s so funny? I’m being serious here.”
I had mustered up the courage to ask, and here he was, laughing?
Even as I protested, Siwoo continued to laugh, his eyes even watering from it. Finally, he wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand and spoke.
“Hajin.”
“Yes?”
“You’re really something.”
“…What?”
What’s that supposed to mean?
At Siwoo’s incomprehensible evaluation, I felt thousands of question marks pop up over my head.