Chapter 375. Insomnia Smash Project (2)
Strike while the iron is hot.
As soon as I thought about seeking help, I went straight to the first person who came to mind for advice.
“Uh, so… it’s me again?”
A senior in the music industry, the No. 1 idol of Miro, and someone who ranked in my personal Top 5 for surviving countless twists, turns, and crises in the idol world while mastering member care.
“Please bestow your wisdom upon me, Master Mozart.”
“Mozart?”
“There’s a reason behind it.”
A.K.A. Leader of Utopia, Utopia’s No. 1, Utopia’s Captain, and my office dad, Seo Taeil.
“Uh… if insomnia is the issue, shouldn’t you see a doctor? Or maybe play some ASMR on iTube to help you sleep. Why come to me?”
“I want to know how you would approach a member who is suffering from hidden trauma, without even realizing their condition is deteriorating, so that you can effectively help them heal and move forward.”
“So, you’re saying you want to have a proper conversation with Siwoo this time without getting into a fight, but you’re not sure how to approach it.”
“Exactly.”
As expected, this one-shot instructor summarized my problem perfectly. Seo Taeil, having nailed it once again, let out a thoughtful hum and leaned his head on his hand.
“Just ask him, ‘Are you doing okay these days?’”
“I tried that last time, and we ended up in a huge fight.”
“That’s because you made it obvious you were asking just for the sake of asking, which hurt Siwoo. For a relationship like yours, it’s probably better to just be straightforward and open about things, instead of beating around the bush trying to be considerate.”
“Well, you have a point…”
Is direct confrontation really the only solution?
While I was pondering this, Lee Doha, who had been quietly observing the interior of Seo Taeil’s home, spoke up calmly.
“Aren’t there any of your members who struggled with insomnia? I thought maybe we could ask for their advice.”
“Insomnia… our guys are usually so full of energy that they fall asleep the moment their heads hit the pillow. Even Jinu and I, who work a lot of night shifts, are naturally night owls, so it’s never been a major issue. For us, we’ve had more physical injuries than mental ones.”
As Seo Taeil said this, I recalled the incident with Kwon Sangrok, along with other stories of injuries sustained by teams that had endured long and grueling performances in the music industry. Injuries for idols are like occupational hazards, coming no matter how well you take care of yourself. I resolved that I’d need advice on injury prevention too, especially now that I’m approaching the age where staying up all night for shoots is starting to take a toll.
“Oh, come to think of it—”
Seo Taeil, who had been sympathetically watching our troubled expressions, snapped his fingers as if a thought had suddenly occurred to him.
“I think Yeonwoo struggled with insomnia for quite a while. Ask him.”
“Who?”
“Choi Yeonwoo. Enderway. He’s your senior. Siwoo and Yeonwoo are pretty close, aren’t they? Aren’t they the same age? Siwoo used to hang out with them a lot before Enderway debuted.”
“Now that you mention it…”
It suddenly hit me that when Choi Yeonwoo had come to me about the Touch High schedule, he had also mentioned Siwoo.
—I heard from Siwoo that you get startled easily.
Are they really that close?
For Yeonwoo to have heard something about me from Siwoo, their relationship seemed to go beyond just being peers who happened to be the same age. Given that they’ve known each other for four years, Yeonwoo might know something about Siwoo’s condition too.
However, there was one issue…
“But I’m not really close with that senior. It’s a bit awkward. If I missed a call from him, I’d probably spend three days wondering, ‘Why did he call me?’ That’s the kind of distance we have.”
“You, who look like you’re on first-name terms with everyone on the planet, are actually really shy, huh?”
Even if you look at me like that, dear office dad, I can’t help it. What am I supposed to do when things feel awkward?
Sure, the response to *Touch High!* had been good, and I had appeared as a guest on the radio show Yeonwoo hosts a few times since, but awkwardness was awkwardness. Our messenger chat history consisted solely of polite greetings and business messages behind our social masks.
Lee Doha, who was in a similar boat as me, eventually offered a cautious suggestion after much thought.
“…How about asking Yugeon?”
“Lee Yugeon? Him?”
“He was a regular guest on Yeonwoo’s radio show for a while, so they’re probably closer than we are. Maybe he could ask for you.”
“Oh, that’s an idea.”
Speaking of our rice bowl buddy, Lee Yugeon.
Although he might come across as a bit arrogant at first glance, thanks to his extensive part-time job experience, he was a master of survival skills, someone who didn’t block anyone from leaving and certainly didn’t stop anyone from coming. A zero-baseline kind of guy.
Compared to me, who shared an awkward relationship with Yeonwoo, Yugeon, with his laid-back attitude, might casually bring it up and get some kind of response.
“Alright, let’s ask Yugeon to talk to him.”
“But will Yugeon even listen to you? He looks like the kind of guy who hates doing favors.”
“Why worry? Do you know how much rice, soup, and sea salt I’ve fed that guy? If I ask him, it’s a done deal.”
“That sounded a little strange.”
“Anyway, don’t worry. Yugeon listens to me.”
Yugeon, it’s time to pay for all the meals I treated you to.
Maybe that’s why I fed you so well. Aha ha ha ha ha!
* * *
“Hello?”
“Yes, this is Kang Hajin from Kairos speaking.”
“Oh, Hajin. Hellooo.”
…Lee Yugeon had already digested all the meals I fed him, damn it!
I tried to rely on the well-fed (or not) junior I had raised (or not) to help me out (or not), but that ungrateful brat immediately turned down my request, telling me I should handle it myself!
‘That brat, is this revenge for that parasailing incident…!’
One way or another, I eventually found myself calling Choi Yeonwoo, the second person on my list for advice, as my senior patiently waited for me to state my business, the last time we had contacted each other being right after *This Isn’t a Carol* was released and *Touch High!* aired.
‘At this point, it’s basically a work thing.’
Once I accepted that, I felt a little more at ease. I held my phone with both hands and cautiously explained my situation.
“Are you close with Siwoo, by any chance?”
“…Huh?”
“Oh, no, that’s not what I meant…”
No, Kang Hajin, please!
I smacked my runaway mouth with my hand. It always gets ahead of my thoughts. Does my anatomy only let my mouth respond by reflex? Seeing the confused look on Choi Yeonwoo’s face, I hurriedly added an explanation.
Without going into too much detail, I summarized it as, “It seems like Jung Siwoo has been struggling with insomnia lately, and I want to help. I heard you’re quite experienced with it.”
After hearing my explanation, Choi Yeonwoo replied in his usual languid voice.
– Oh, Siwoo? Yeah, I remember him always saying he wasn’t in great condition around this time. It’s probably because of the seasonal change. As for the insomnia thing… I’ll send you something via messenger. I hope it helps.
“I really need to try something right now. Thank you, sunbae.”
– You’re taking care of your members’ insomnia, too? Hajin, you’re a good leader.
Coming from the senior who memorizes all his members’ food allergies and monitors their diet whenever they’re on overseas tours, that was high praise.
But I didn’t want to drag out the conversation, so I absorbed the compliment without hesitation and began preparing to end the call.
“Thank you, sunbae. I wish you peace and well-being, and may you never be involved in any of the three major disasters in the industry or face any unjust scandals in your life….”
– Oh, by the way.
“…Yes?”
– If your goal is to take care of your artist, wouldn’t it be better to ask the Director? When things weren’t going well for me early in my debut, I often turned to Hyung Suho for help.
“Ah, well….”
When Choi Yeonwoo recommended another person for advice, I trailed off, turning my gaze elsewhere.
“I’ve already talked to him.”
At the end of my line of sight was Ji Suho, who, even while working on his computer, had been glancing at me, listening to my phone conversation.
Our Counseling Center No. 0 shot me a gentle look, silently asking if I was done with the call.
“Anyway, thanks again for your help, sunbae. Sorry for the sudden call.”
– Well, you can just contact me more often in the future.
“Wh-what?”
– I’ll send you the details about the insomnia thing later. I have to head to filming now.
“Oh, yes. Thank you. Take care.”
– Haha, sure. Be well~
As the awkward call with Choi Yeonwoo ended, Ji Suho, who seemed to have finished his work, moved from his desk and plopped down on the sofa across from me.
“Hajin, you… need to mentally prepare yourself just to make a phone call?”
“Lee Doha said he’d help me with the call, but then he went off to his schedule. Siwoo-hyung was in the dorm, so I had to escape. But doing it alone is nerve-wracking.”
“I see… well.”
Ji Suho nodded, his tone suggesting he didn’t quite understand but was accepting it anyway. Then, he continued with the next bit of information he had prepared.
“I contacted the place where Siwoo has been getting counseling. They said they can’t give specific details about individual sessions, but during his last visit, he seemed much more stable.”
“Really? That’s a relief.”
“Your comeback preparations have made you guys pretty busy, and it seems the period when Siwoo’s condition worsened aligns with the time he stopped going to his counseling sessions. So it looks like he was improving earlier this year but then suddenly deteriorated.”
Nodding along, I agreed with Ji Suho’s calm explanation as he laid out the timeline. Even if it wasn’t the whole reason, the series of events in the spring—the awakening incident, Joo Eunchan’s accident, and his hospitalization—definitely seemed to have acted as triggers.
“…The Director doesn’t know much about his father’s situation, does he? It’s pretty clear that it’s connected.”
“Yeah, unless Siwoo tells us, there’s no way for us to know the details.”
Since it was a sensitive issue involving someone else’s family, Ji Suho was cautious and kept his words to a minimum. Seeing him like that, I decided to ask about another matter.
“What about his mother? She’s still his guardian. Hasn’t the company been in touch with her?”
“Hmm, well, Siwoo was already an adult when he debuted, so we didn’t need his mother’s help with contracts or anything. And since she’s always so busy and abroad most of the time, it’s been hard to get in touch with her.”
“What about during his trainee days? He was still in high school then.”
“The former Director handled that, but there aren’t any proper records left.”
“Ugh, those Voldemort-like people are so useless….”
Anything involving Han Sungwoo and the former Director never seemed to go right.
It looked like my only option was to confront Jung Siwoo head-on. While I was debating this, Ji Suho checked his calendar on his phone and asked me a question.
“By the way, have you packed up your stuff?”
“…Packed up? Am I moving?”
“Why do you act like it’s the first time you’re hearing this? Didn’t I tell you last time that you guys are moving out of your dorm? Even though it’s a packing service move, you should still sort out your important things.”
“Oh, right, that.”
It finally occurred to me that our dorm was scheduled to move soon. The surge of saesangs recently had made things unbearable, and since the dorm was a rushed decision when Miro moved to their new office, it hadn’t been the best fit.
In any case, the new place was supposed to be bigger and more secure, so I’d been looking forward to it.
“I’ve already packed most of my stuff. I don’t have that much, anyway.”
“Once you move, you guys can sort out your rooms yourselves. We’ll furnish the place as best we can, but if you need anything, let us know in advance.”
“Got it. I’ll let the others know.”
“And as for Siwoo’s situation… I’ll keep an eye on him too. It could just be stress, so for now, just stay close and watch over him.”
I nodded silently at Ji Suho’s request. Even after meeting with all the counselors from Nos. 0 to 2, I felt like I hadn’t made much progress, which was a little disappointing.
‘In the end… maybe I’ll have to open Grururuk Park for the third time.’
I started pondering what excuse I could use to lure Jung Siwoo in again without causing the same barn-smashing disaster as last time, and an involuntary groan escaped me.
Seeing me like this, Ji Suho seemed to be thinking about something, and then he came up with another suggestion.
“If you need personal information about Siwoo, there’s someone else you could ask.”
“…? Really? Who?”
“Suk. Why not try asking Suk? Last time I saw, he was sometimes grabbing meals and drinks with Siwoo on his days off. They even went to his father’s grave together.”
“Are you talking about Gong Seok-hyung?”
“Yeah.”
A new Counselor No. 3 popped into my mind.
Gong Seok, who had once felt inferior to Jung Siwoo but had since become a good friend, might actually have something helpful to say.
“Oh, then I should reach out right away. Wait, is he at the practice room now? He still gives lessons to the trainees, right?”
“Well…”
Just as I was pulling up Gong Seok-hyung’s contact info, ready to storm into the trainee practice room, Ji Suho added one more detail, looking slightly hesitant.
“First of all, it’s the weekend, so it’s his day off. If you want to meet him, you should contact him in advance. You might want to reach out soon, though.”
“Why?”
“Suk is leaving the company. This month is his last.”
“…Whaaat!?”
Shocked by the sudden announcement of Counseling Center No. 3’s unexpected departure, I jumped to my feet.
Where is our No Answer Trio’s eldest going!??!!!