Chapter 195
I must have fallen asleep after crying.
When I opened my eyes, I was in my room.
Looking out the window, the sky was still hazy, likely due to the falling snow.
Ah, this…
It was a familiar scene.
“Hello, Baek Nokha.”
…Why didn’t he come out sooner?
I had sent so many messages.
This damn guy.
I was really relieved that at least my phone returned with me.
The chat window with Som was still there.
“Som.”
“You succeeded after all. Why are you looking for me again?”
“That day… You were the one who made it snow, weren’t you?”
“Of course. No one else could do that.”
How oddly romantic, saving my mom with snow.
“Think of it as a Christmas present.”
“What present? I achieved that. It was a rightful deal.”
“…You really are…”
Som sighed without even opening his mouth.
And he didn’t even have a nose.
“How is it, Baek Nokha? Now that you’re back?”
“…”
I couldn’t answer.
Som seemed to sense my feelings.
“Having your mom is good, but it seems like you miss your members.”
“It’s not just about missing them.”
Everyone…
If everyone had been living well…
If they had been happily living at Steel Blue together…
Maybe I could have been okay with it.
But seeing how drastically they had changed, I realized this wasn’t right.
I couldn’t accept it.
Even as I tried to reason that I had no right to think this way about the lives they chose.
I just couldn’t.
“Anyway. Now that I’ve done what I needed to do, I’ll-”
“Wait.”
Where did he think he was going?
I grabbed Som.
“You have something you haven’t told me. You should tell me everything before you go.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You know exactly what I mean.”
I placed Som on my bed.
“I thought something was off. In some worlds, Baek Nokha exists, and in others, she doesn’t. If, as you said, these are simply parallel worlds, then Baek Nokha and Yoon Cheong should be the same in every world.”
Somehow.
I had to set things right.
Something was definitely wrong.
I didn’t care if it made me seem strange.
I didn’t care if it seemed like I was being unreasonable.
“Explain it to me.”
In the end, I had no choice but to hold onto Som.
This was a world gone wrong.
-Why should I?
“Because you changed my fate. I think I deserve to know at this point.”
-Do you really think so, Baek Nokha?
Som grinned from ear to ear.
-Sorry, but this was your choice. You chose to change your fate.
“Yes. So, it’s time for me to know. Because it was my choice… I have the right to hear it.”
Som remained silent for a long while.
Even without eyes, I could tell.
He was pleased.
-Fine. I’ll reveal all the truths to you.
“…!”
-But in return, you must also tell the truth.
After saying this, Som began to slowly float into the air.
-The result of the bet we made back then will be revealed.
The result I’ve been waiting for all this time.
After saying this, Som swallowed me whole.
When I opened my eyes again.
I was clinging to the railings of a bridge over the Han River, crying my eyes out.
On a bone-chillingly cold day.
Wearing only thin stage clothes.
I wanted to stop crying to understand what was happening.
But I couldn’t stop crying.
No, even though it was my body, I couldn’t move it as I wished.
I cried endlessly.
Holding onto the railings, I began to stand up.
As if I had made some sort of decision.
‘No!’
In this absurd situation, I tried to control my body.
But my body helplessly leaned over the railing.
However, at that moment.
-Hold on. You’re in such a hurry.
Som appeared before me.
“It’s a shame to waste such talent… How about using it for me instead of throwing it away in the water?”
“What, what are you talking about?”
The moment my voice came out of my mouth, I was shocked.
This voice…!
“In return, I’ll grant your wish. Whatever you want.”
“I, I don’t understand what you mean.”
“You want to be loved, right?”
Som narrowed his eyes and looked at me, smiling.
“You want to be recognized and loved as an idol.”
“…What, what does that have to do with you?”
“Why? Because I’d like to see you loved and making many people happy as an idol.”
“Why, why?”
“That’s not your concern. What really matters is this.”
“….”
“Do you want to be loved as an idol?”
I didn’t answer for a long time.
“You want to be loved. You want someone to listen to your songs. Isn’t that right?”
Som looked at me intently, grinning widely.
“Yoon Cheong.”
!
“Yoon Cheong. A ten-year veteran idol. Or rather, can you even be called an idol? Your team disbanded after a year. Now you’re almost a civilian. You sometimes perform on very small stages. But you get booed every time because you can’t show your true skills due to stage fright.”
“….”
“How does it feel to struggle and beg your way onto a stage only to be booed?”
Som said this as he flew towards me.
Startled, I fell back.
“Isn’t it despairing?”
“…!”
“In fact, you are one of the most talented idols alive today. If I were you, I’d feel very wronged.”
Som sat on my lap as I lay on the ground.
“Because of a single misbuttoned small button. Because of a single wrong relationship.”
Som pulled out my memories and showed them to me again.
Yoon Cheong’s past memories.
My first agency, where I was bullied out of jealousy by fellow trainees, flashed by like a panorama.
Since then, I developed stage fright and couldn’t perform well.
I was kicked out of the debut team and moved to a second agency.
In that agency, I met… Kim Ryeo-yu.
And a worse hell began.
“If you hadn’t met those few wrong people… what would you have been like? If the cruel God had given you different relationships.”
Som slipped into my arms.
“What would you have been like?”
Som asked me.
“…It would have been the same.”
I answered.
-…What?
“I, I am… trash. Trash that no one can love… So… even if I met different people, it would have been the same.”
-What are you talking about?
“I, I did meet bad people… but if I had been strong… if I had been…”
I clenched my fists tightly.
“If I had been strong, I would have overcome it.”
-Didn’t you hear me? It’s just that you met a few wrong people.
“N, no… Other people also meet bad people. The one who couldn’t overcome it… was me.”
-You’re really brainwashed.
“I, I’m not brainwashed!”
-….
Som looked at me with a very annoyed expression.
-This isn’t fun.
Som’s fur drooped.
-Do you know how much energy I spent to find someone like you?
“A, a lot…?”
-Yes. A lot. To the point where I lost all hope in humans.
“I, I’m sorry… after all that, the best you found was me….”
-Exactly.
Som thought for a moment.
Then he bristled his fur again.
-Yoon Cheong.
“Y, yes?”
-How about we make a bet to see if you’re right or I’m right?
“A, a bet?”
-Yes, a bet.
“H, how?”
-I’ll erase all your memories, all your trauma… and let you live someone else’s fate with only your talent.
I couldn’t respond.
But Som, excited, continued to speak.
-I’ll take half of your soul and put it in another person’s fate. Then we can compare, right? With the same talent, the same soul… if you have a different fate, how much will change!
Som flew quickly and stopped right in front of my eyes.
-I happen to know the perfect candidate…. Someone who wanted to debut as an idol like you… but died in a car accident. I’ll put you in her body. Someone destined to be loved all her life.
“B, but….”
-If even then, you can’t be loved as an idol, I’ll cleanly give up on you.
“…!”
Som looked straight into my eyes and asked.
-Aren’t you curious too? If you had been given a different fate, a different set of relationships… what would it have been like?
Hearing those words, doubt began to rise in my heart.
Was it really just bad luck?
Not because I was weak or stupid…
Was it just bad luck?
No.
Still…
I shook my head vigorously.
“But, but I can’t leave my mom….”
-What?
“Our mom… she lives for me….”
-What are you talking about? Weren’t you just about to die?
“N-no! I was just acting out of anger, I didn’t really mean to jump.”
-….
Som looked at me with a look of utter disbelief.
-Fine. I’ll be generous. I’ll change another fate. I’ll make your mother Baek Nokha’s mother. Anyway, Baek Nokha doesn’t have a family. It’ll work if we switch them.
“Is that possible…?”
-Why wouldn’t it be? But Yoon Cheong, your mother will become Baek Nokha’s mother, not Yoon Cheong’s. Is that okay?
“….”
I thought for a long time before nodding.
“That girl… she was destined for more happiness, right? Then… my mom, being her mother….”
My throat kept tightening.
“She’ll be happier….”
Instead of having a daughter who fails and is only unhappy.
She’ll be the mother of a daughter who is always happy.
Mom will be happier too.
Som looked at me as if he really couldn’t understand, then sighed.
-Fine. The deal is settled.
“…!”
-Now, let me tell you my conditions.
“What… conditions?”
-If you reach the pinnacle of Baek Nokha’s life… I plan to return that soul to you, Yoon Cheong. But in another world. And you will have to prove again in that world.
That you can succeed.
That you can save yourself with your abilities.
On your own.
-If that’s proven, then I win. And at that time, you’ll have to grant my wish.
Then.
I opened my eyes again.
-How is it, Baek Nokha?
Som was looking at me.
-Or should I call you Yoon Cheong now?
“Som, you….”
-Can you admit it now? That I won the bet?
I couldn’t answer.
I was at a loss for words.
I was stunned.
To think that I… that I was originally Yoon Cheong.
The moment I saw that scene, all my memories perfectly aligned.
Yoon Cheong’s memories.
And Baek Nokha’s memories.
-Do you know how much I had to sacrifice to change the fates of both of you?
“…I can imagine.”
-Because of you, I couldn’t interfere in the human world for a while!
“…I can really imagine that.”
-You ungrateful human. Now you know everything, right? How kind I am?
Really, I do.
I was bewildered. I had no idea there was such a backstory.
-Now it’s time to settle, Baek Nokha.
“….”
-I won. You admit it, right? Your fate was wrong, not you!
“Hm.”
-You can’t admit it?!
“I do… admit it….”
-Finally!
Som jumped with joy.
-Finally! This moment has come! I won! I won!
Som grinned widely.
-Now it’s your turn to grant my wish!
“….”
I felt uneasy.
“What’s… your wish?”
-Isn’t it obvious? What wish could I have?
“….”
-Work as an idol until you die. Work tirelessly and be loved by as many people as possible. Make as many humans happy as you can!
Hmm.
-The contract lasts until you die! How do you feel? Doesn’t it make you angry? Frustrated?
“Hm?”
-What do you mean, hm?
Som stopped, sensing something was off.
And it wasn’t just Som who was puzzled.
I was puzzled too.
“That’s all?”
…Is that all there is in return for all those things?
It seems…
It seems like Som is getting the short end of the stick.
-What else should there be? What’s harder than this? I’m telling you to work until you die. Even if you want to rest or retire, you can’t! You have to work even when you’re old!
“Hmm.”
So what?
It’s no different from my own wish.
Living and dying as an idol.
Living with my fans all my life.
That’s my dream….
“Sure, I’ll grant your wish.”
-…Why do I feel like I lost?
Som’s voice was uneasy as he moved away from me.
“I said I’ll grant your wish.”
-You also have to win awards! Every year!
“It won’t be easy, but I’ll try my best.”
-…This isn’t right. Something feels off.
Som’s fur drooped.
“Can I ask one favor in return?”
-You’re so shameless.
“It’s a good deal for you too. Just hear me out.”
-…What is it?
Som bristled his fur and glared at me with his nonexistent eyes.
“Can you… put things back to how they were? Let me return as Yoon Cheong… and be with my members.”
-What? You want to throw away everything you’ve built as Baek Nokha and go back to that world?
“Yes. This is Baek Nokha speaking, not Yoon Cheong.”
-….
“Mom too… and Steel Blue.”
Som relaxed and stared at me.
“Let me go back to Yoon Cheong’s fate… and meet my members again.”
Only now could I admit it.
I needed my members.
Not because they needed me.
But because I needed them.
“I want to live as the real Yoon Cheong. With my mom.”
When Som didn’t respond, I spoke again.
I had to persuade him somehow.
“It won’t be a loss for you. You know Steel Blue is an idol group that brought happiness to so many people. It will bring much more joy than just me alone.”
-….
So.
So I want to meet my members again.
I didn’t say that aloud.
Som thought for a while, then answered.
-Returning your mother isn’t difficult.
“Really?”
-But you will have to start over from the beginning.
“…From the beginning?”
My heart sank.
If it’s from the beginning….
-Yes. From the point when we first met. When you returned to Yoon Cheong with Baek Nokha’s memories.
If it’s that point….
“From the start of Make a New Color?”
-Yes.
“Then…. the current members will lose all their memories of me?”
-That’s right.
Som looked up at me.
-Do you still want to start over, Yoon Cheong? Even if you have to build everything from scratch again?
I looked down at Som.
And I said.
The answer I had always known.
“Yes.”
Som slowly opened his mouth into a smile—
-An excellent choice, Yoon Cheong!
He swallowed me whole.
The world turned white again.
Not the white of winter.
The white of summer, where sunlight shattered into pieces… like a white world.
“Unnie?”
I was so sleepy.
“Unnie!”
Just let me sleep a little longer.
“Cheong Cheong. We promised to watch the sunrise. You need to get up.”
“That’s right, Cheong-ah. You’re the only one who can drive here….”
“Let’s just carry her. The cold wind should wake her up.”
Ugh.
One hand was on my forehead, checking for a fever.
Another hand was gently pulling my hair.
One hand was shaking my arm.
And another was poking my cheek.
Oh, come on.
I just want to sleep a bit.
Who’s disturbing…
“She’s awake!”
“Cheong Cheong, why are you sleeping in? You’re usually the first one up.”
…What?
“…Everyone….”
Why is everyone here?
I looked at the members in a daze.
Seo Baek-young, Kim Geum, Ryu Bo-ra, Yeon Juhong….
Everyone was here.
I hurriedly sat up and looked around.
A familiar space.
It was the room I shared with Seo Baek-young.
“What’s wrong, why are you so surprised? Did you have a nightmare?”
“It’s okay, our Cheong.”
The members patted me.
I just blinked, unable to understand the situation.
What’s going on?
I didn’t return to the beginning of “Make a New Color.”
I returned to the original timeline.
Then maybe…!
“W-wait. I need my phone…!”
I quickly turned on my phone and checked the message window.
There it was.
**Mom**
*When you go to see the sunrise today*
*Make sure to wear a scarf*
*They say it’s going to be very cold*
*You make a living with your throat*
*Take care of yourself*
Mom’s messages were piled up.
Mom is here too.
Is this a dream? Reality?
I pinched my cheek.
The members….
And mom.
They’re in the same world.
The world I dreamed of is here now.
I looked at the members, then at mom’s messages, back and forth.
The members looked at me with worried eyes.
Then.
*Ding!*
**Som Som**
*Yoon Cheong (formerly Baek Nokha)*
*You’re a truly ungrateful and infuriating contractee,*
*but if I don’t leave you with a debt, you’ll probably try to deceive me again.*
*I’ve given you a big debt,*
*so I trust you won’t mind me giving you quests at will. ^^
*Contacting you on your personal phone instead of the usual one is a special service.*
What?
*Ding!*
**[A new quest has arrived.]**
**[Do you accept? (Yes/No)]**
**[Forced acceptance (no choice available)]**
**[My Wish: Win the grand prize at the next <Platinum Music Awards> as a solo act]**
**[Failure: Steel Blue’s retirement will be delayed by 3 years]**
“What…?”
**Som Som**
**Bleh**
What?!!
“What’s wrong?”
Ryu Bo-ra looked at me with genuine concern.
“…N-nothing.”
I looked back at the members.
And hugged them tightly.
I was back.
“Cheong Cheong, I-I can’t breathe.”
“Cheong, you must’ve had a terrible nightmare.”
“Ugh. Unnie. Why are your arms so strong?!”
“…Unnie. Calm down….”
Everything, perfectly… returned.