I was dragged out. Han Seo-hyeon and Kim Jae-ho stood in front of me with their arms crossed as I was forcibly seated on the sofa.
The pressure was no joke with these kids, who had grown much taller, looking down at me while I sat.
“Uh, you two sit down too.”
Han Seo-hyeon and Kim Jae-ho didn’t even pretend to listen. I awkwardly moved my lips.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but is it human behavior to hole up like that?”
As if he had been waiting, Han Seo-hyeon’s nagging dropped. Han Seo-hyeon’s face as he said those words was terrible.
How much time has passed anyway?
—It’s been two days.
I was surprised at Ray’s words. Two days have passed? Come to think of it, I do feel hungry.
—Is being hungry important right now! Those kids have been anxiously waiting for you for two days without any explanation!
At Ray’s words, I raised my gaze again.
Despite having ripped off the door and dragged a person to sit on the sofa, Han Seo-hyeon had a face like he was about to cry.
“If Boss holes up like that, we…”
My heart sank at the reddened eyes that looked like they would burst into tears at any moment. What have I been doing to these kids?
For a moment, I lost my mind and…
—It’s not just for a moment, you were planning to stay holed up in that room for days if it weren’t for those kids.
Ugh, my conscience is turning to powder.
—Don’t worry. I’m here instead of your powdered conscience.
Only after seeing Han Seo-hyeon and Kim Jae-ho looking at me with anxious eyes did I realize my mistake.
I said I’d bring these kids and act as their guardian, but suddenly I abandoned them.
“I’m sorry.”
“What exactly are you sorry for? Holing up in that room for two days without any proper explanation to us? Trying to gloss over it with a vague apology even now without a proper explanation?”
Ugh, I’ve completely pushed the wrong button. The awkwardness passed quickly, and soon my head became complicated.
This is losing my qualification as a guardian.
I decided to speak honestly.
“Just everything.”
The parenting education book I looked up because of Kim Jae-ho said this: Keeping your mouth shut to children is especially not good for children’s personality growth. It said you shouldn’t gloss over things just because they’re young, but should clearly talk about things that need to be talked about.
The most important thing is communication.
I know, I know. But as soon as I thought Jeong Ho-san might go wrong again because of me, I cowardly hid.
“I’m sorry. For abandoning you.”
At my sincere apology, Han Seo-hyeon’s face fell. Han Seo-hyeon, who sighed deeply, sat at my feet and said:
“Now you have to tell us the reason. Why did you suddenly do that?”
I sighed at Han Seo-hyeon’s persistent gaze. Kids these days are really picky, they never just let things go.
—Do you know there’s only a 4-year age difference between you and him?
‘Hmm, you have to add 10 more years to that.’
A 14-year age difference. It’s tremendous when I think about it. It wasn’t very pleasant being interrogated by such a young child, but I still had to speak clearly.
“It seemed like that friend’s life was ruined because of me. So I kind of lost my mind suddenly.”
“Ruined?”
“He quit that great guild because of me and entered a trash department like the Awakener Crimes Department.”
—A villain calling a government agency a trash department. That’s truly putting the cart before the horse.
‘Well, it’s actually trash. At least while Seol Rok-jin’s influence touches it.’
What Seol Rok-jin wants is to instill in the public the perception that awakeners are dangerous. The Awakener Crimes Department must remain a thoroughly incompetent agency. That way, the idea that awakeners are so dangerous that they can’t be controlled by the Awakener Crimes Department or the government will spread.
Getting criticized from above, being branded as incompetent by the public and suffering. Trying to do something with your own power but nothing working out. It’s a fate doomed to roll around one way or another.
Unless you’re a shameless person who can just do whatever you’re told like Park Cheol-wan, types like Do Chae-hee or Jeong Ho-san will only feel despair there.
Do Chae-hee from before the regression was truly miserable. She didn’t even know then that Park Cheol-wan was a puppet. I watched up close as Do Chae-hee despaired after being crushed and broken and rolling around in the middle several times before learning the truth.
Do Chae-hee, who learned that Seol Rok-jin was the root of all problems, shattered. Because Do Chae-hee was already too exhausted to endure the fact that the person she thought was her only hope and light was actually the villain behind all those events.
Even her desperate struggles mixed with despair were just entertainment for Seol Rok-jin.
I can’t throw Jeong Ho-san into such a position.
“It’s because of me.”
“Why is it because of you, Boss?”
“Because he ended up like that just to find me.”
“That friend, if Boss is reacting to this extent, you must have been very close, right?”
“That’s right.”
“It’s natural for him to react extremely when such a friend suddenly disappeared.”
Though I didn’t explain the detailed circumstances, Han Seo-hyeon already seemed to have roughly guessed the situation between me and Jeong Ho-san.
Well, is there anyone in this world who can escape Han Seo-hyeon’s eyes and ears?
Moreover, I was the one who asked to monitor Jeong Ho-san, so I can’t even say why they investigated.
“So in short, all this happened because Boss went off the grid?”
Still, hearing such words hurt. It chills me to the bone.
“Urgh.”
But I had an excuse too.
What I want is for Jeong Ho-san to live a happy life.
A villain friend isn’t needed in that happy life.
So I disappear.
Ta-da!
How clean a conclusion is that?
—I would have believed you before, but after seeing that memory, I understand. You were just scared, weren’t you?
No sooner had Ray’s words ended than Han Seo-hyeon said:
“You just ran away because you were scared, right?”
At those words, I snorted.
“Scared? Me? Of what?”
I reflexively said that, but under Han Seo-hyeon’s steady gaze, I soon had to admit.
I was scared, actually. That something like that would happen again. I was terrified out of my mind.
“Who exactly is that person?”
“Someone who… was my friend.”
I think our relationship was cut off long ago.
In my previous life, that guy died miserably because of his entanglement with me. So how could I dare to call myself that guy’s friend?
He’d be much happier not being involved with me…
“Ah! Stop digging into the ground so uncharacteristically!”
—That’s right! This isn’t like you!
The proper response to such lines would be to shout ‘What’s ‘like me’!’, but I didn’t even have the strength for that.
“What exactly is the problem!”
It must be quite frustrating from Han Seo-hyeon’s perspective.
Right, should I at least pretend to be fine until things are resolved? I can’t make the children anxious.
There’s a lot to do right away anyway.
“I’m sorry. I’ll pull myself together again…”
At my words, Han Seo-hyeon said:
“Don’t do that.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t pretend like nothing’s wrong.”
“Uh…”
Now is he making a fuss because I’m pretending to be fine? I really don’t know what tune to dance to.
“Whatever it is, I’ll help.”
Han Seo-hyeon said.
“I can’t stand seeing Boss suffer alone like that. But I don’t like you pretending like nothing’s wrong either.”
Han Seo-hyeon, who said that, nudged Kim Jae-ho’s side.
“Me too.”
Oh my. I thought I had been acting as these kids’ guardian for months. Now it seems like the opposite.
“Nothing gets better by running away. Didn’t you say that if we work together, we can solve anything?”
At Han Seo-hyeon’s words, I blinked.
“…That’s right.”
I felt overwhelming despair momentarily and ran away, but actually nothing gets better by running away.
The situation has already happened.
If I run away saying I won’t do anything here, the situation will only get worse.
It’s not the time to run away saying all this happened because of me. Because all this happened because of me, I need to somehow resolve it.
For that, yes.
“I need to meet that guy.”
At my words, Han Seo-hyeon’s eyes widened.
“You’re going to meet that person?”
“Yes, it would probably be better to meet and talk.”
If all this is because of my disappearance, wouldn’t coming up to the surface and meeting him be the best solution?
Right, what’s going to change by being wishy-washy like this?
I stood up abruptly.
My left arm went down with a whoosh.
Han Seo-hyeon, who clung to my arm like a monkey, shouted:
“T-that person is on Do Chae-hee’s side! Do Chae-hee is desperate to catch us! Does it make any sense to go meet such a person directly now?”
“But you said it yourself. Nothing gets resolved by running away.”
“What I meant wasn’t not to physically run away!”
I know my friend Jeong Ho-san well. If I don’t show up, that guy will keep wandering around looking for me.
“There’s no more certain solution than meeting.”
—A-are you thinking of meeting that guy? In this situation?
‘Yes, isn’t that the most certain method?’
You’re thinking of quitting your guild and entering the Awakener Crimes Department just to find me?
Come to think of it, it really makes me angry. You’re ruining your life in the mud just to find me? Who do you think would be grateful for that? Jeong Ho-san is really a selfish idiot who only thinks of himself.
Saying it’s for my sake is a lie. I don’t want anything like that at all.
—What are you going to do when you meet?
“What are you going to do when you meet!”
Once again, Ray and Han Seo-hyeon’s words overlapped.
“I need to explain and ask.”
Even if I can’t explain all the circumstances, wouldn’t it be enough to say I’m doing well so you should do your own thing too?
The reason Jeong Ho-san reacted so extremely is because I became a murder suspect and then went missing.
Hmm, wouldn’t it be okay if he knows I’m alive? Yeah! He might even say he’s going back to the guild.
—You idiot, that’s escapism! Do you think things will be resolved so easily!
‘Escapism? I’m trying to stop escaping, what do you mean…’
I patted Han Seo-hyeon’s shoulder and smiled brightly.
“You know quite a lot about friendships even though you don’t have friends. Thanks, it was helpful.”
I received help this time.
It was quite a sincere thing to say, but at my words, Han Seo-hyeon shouted with a reddened face:
“W-who are you calling a loner without any friends?”
I’m not sure about being a loner, but isn’t it true you don’t have any friends?
At my gaze, Han Seo-hyeon acted up even more.
* * *
I pulled my hood down low.
Since I’ve been going around wearing a mask everywhere lately, it felt strange to come out without wearing anything.
Ugh, at this rate it wouldn’t be strange to be called a mask fetishist.
—It’s not strange, you’re just that…
[Will you really be okay going alone?]
Han Seo-hyeon’s radio transmission cut off Ray’s nonsense. He’s still worried about me. I deliberately raised my voice:
“I said it’s fine. Besides, what are you thinking of doing by all rushing in together? Are you planning to advertise that we’re Weltschmerz?”
[That’s, but still…]
“Today I came here not as Weltschmerz but as a person named Kang Yi-sin.”
[The problem is that Kang Yi-sin is enough of a criminal too!]
Jeong Ho-san is my friend. Surely he wouldn’t capture me and hand me over to the Awakener Crimes Department?
—You’re trusting quite a lot.
‘Well, in the end it was Jeong Ho-san who let me go that day.’
Before coming here, I sent Jeong Ho-san a note with Han Seo-hyeon’s help.
「Let’s talk.
-Kang Yi-sin.」
After checking the note, Jeong Ho-san came here right away. I watched Jeong Ho-san pacing in the park while hiding behind a tree.
‘What a fool.’
“I told him to come in five hours.”
To think he’s on standby right away.
I waited for all people to disappear and then plodded towards that place.
Though it was 10 minutes later than the appointment time I had written down, Jeong Ho-san was still stubbornly keeping his place.
I walked towards him. He saw me and I saw him.
“Have you been well?”
Along with my greeting, a bear pounced on me with a thud.