"Bai Bufan: Sister, can we hook up? How much?"
"Waiting for My Pure Love: Sorry, you've got it wrong. I won't hook up for any amount of money. I post these purely out of a desire to share. Since I don't have a boyfriend right now, I just post on TikTok. I don't plan to and could never use my body to make money. I can't accept that kind of thing."
"Bai Bufan: Ah? Sister, so you're a real female bodhisattva?!"
"Waiting for My Pure Love: Haha, I guess so. But after I have a boyfriend, I definitely won't share anymore. Actually, in real life I'm a very conservative and traditional person. I'd probably only be one person's female bodhisattva."
"Bai Bufan: Sister, you're really good. I really envy your future boyfriend."
"Waiting for My Pure Love: Sigh, I've been really bored lately. I've encountered some difficulties in real life too, and have no one to chat with and confide in. Chatting with you is quite fun. It's troublesome to chat here though—want to add my WeChat?"
"Bai Bufan: No thanks, sister. I wish you find a boyfriend who's truly good to you soon!"
"Bai Bufan: Keep it up!"
"Due to the other party's privacy settings, they cannot receive your messages."
"Bai Bufan: What? Huh? Why? Why was this also blocked? Sister? I don't understand! Give me an explanation! This makes no sense!"
"Due to the other party's privacy settings, they cannot receive your messages."
...
"Bai Bufan: There? Hook up? 178cm, 18 years old, 6 times per night."
"Longing: V 2685..."
"Bai Bufan: Added 111."
"Bai Bufan: Wait, why is your WeChat selling tea? Is this really you?"
"Bai Bufan: Your mom, suddenly realized why you look different in every post? Image-stealing traffic dog! I'm the Monkey King, I'll feed grass to your horse!"
"Bai Bufan recalled a message."
"Bai Bufan: @'Work', sister, or brother, can you recommend the original blogger of this to me? I really like them, please."
"Longing: TikTok account 6BK..."
"Bai Bufan: Thanks, you're surprisingly decent, but one thing at a time—I still have to continue cursing you."
"Bai Bufan: Image-stealing traffic dog! I'll feed grass to your horse!"
"Due to the other party's privacy settings, they cannot receive your messages."
...
"Bai Bufan: Hello blogger, I have a good brother named Lin Li who is now seriously ill. The doctor has issued a critical condition notice. He can't even type with his hands now, but he has one dying wish—to see your legs. So I can only presume to disturb you, hoping you can fulfill my brother's dying wish."
"Bobo Little Wave: Hahahahaha."
"Bobo Little Wave: Seeing how much you typed, I'll satisfy you once."
"Bobo Little Wave: [Image]"
"Bai Bufan: It's not me, it's my brother Lin Li. But thank you, sister. He can rest in peace now."
"Bobo Little Wave: Okay okay, then let me ask—what serious illness does your brother have?"
"Bai Bufan: Late-stage hemorrhoid cancer. The hemorrhoids have spread throughout his body. Want to see pictures?"
"Bobo Little Wave: ...No thanks."
"Bai Bufan: Sister, he's seen the legs. He asked me to ask if there's more?"
"Due to the other party's privacy settings, they cannot receive your messages."
...
Lin Li sat on Bai Bufan's corpse, nearly dying of laughter.
Halfway through laughing, because he was really curious about what was so funny, Zhou Baowei and another roommate present, Chen Tianming, also came forward to sit on either side of Lin Li in the remaining space on Bai Bufan's corpse, reading the chat records.
The result was that the number of people dying of laughter went from one to three.
Bai Bufan was truly two extremes in front of boys versus girls. See, this was the consequence of playing abstract—becoming a purebred brain-damaged person. This must be taken as a warning.
Basically all private chat results, without exception, ended with being deleted and blocked. Wasn't this also a kind of talent?
No wonder Bai Bufan said he had progress this morning, but only a little.
Now it seemed even that little was somewhat exaggerated.
Bai Bufan usually had endless flirty talk in front of boys, but in these situations, both his IQ and EQ were zero.
Lin Li wanted to open Bai Bufan's brain to see what kind of structure could produce these messages.
"Simple people are easily catfished, but idiots don't count as simple, because idiots don't even know someone has dropped a fishhook in front of them." Chen Tianming shook his head and sighed. "Bufan is truly a divine person. Pure Love Sister: Want to add WeChat to enter my fish pond and prepare to explode gold coins?
But our Brother Bufan: Sister, keep it up~ I won't add! Hahahaha—
Bufan, from now on we'll each call our own names. You continue calling me dad, and I'll call you bro!"
Human joys and sorrows are not connected. Bai Bufan didn't know what was so funny now. He only felt the unbearable weight of being: "You three... can you fucking... get up first..."
No need to pay attention, no one paid attention.
"Hahahaha—"
"?"
However, after seeing that he'd inexplicably gotten hemorrhoid cancer with hemorrhoids spreading throughout his body, Lin Li suddenly stopped giggling.
What a vicious and disgusting disease. No wonder the other party would block you for being disgusting.
What made Lin Li angriest was that this dog Bai Bufan used his name to scam leg photos, and after getting them, didn't even share them with him. What kind of selfish and self-interested person was this?
If he'd shared with him, he might have forgiven him.
Zhou Baowei and Chen Tianming giggled even more.
Chen Tianming was laughing so hard tears came out, so he grabbed tissues from the bed to wipe his tears.
Why were these tissues already clumped up?
Wait.
After realizing, Chen Tianming also stopped giggling and went to the bathroom to wash his face.
Lin Li discovered a law from this.
—The Law of Conservation of Giggling. Giggling doesn't disappear; it only transfers from one person's face to another's.
Giggle.
With Chen Tianming gone, Bai Bufan, who could finally breathe, said with a fierce expression: "Fuck, I'm alive a bit now. Come on, buddies, you're really using me as a cushion! Get up!"
...
The remaining chat records had basically all been read. Some were types that simply didn't reply at all. So Zhou Baowei left to continue studying his package, while Bai Bufan looked at Lin Li expectantly:
"How was it? After reading these, did they help you? Can we follow the vine to find the melon and quickly begin operations?"
"They helped. You made my mood better, so my efficiency in handling affairs should improve next." Lin Li nodded seriously.
"?"
Did this count as help?
Bai Bufan was very sad.
He'd been blocked continuously until 1 AM last night, only to receive such mockery in return.
Sincerity couldn't exchange for sincerity.
"I also added several WeChats that aren't selling tea. Want to look at those too?" Bai Bufan said sadly.
"Send them all to me—these bloggers and the WeChats you added. Don't send the tea-selling one. I'll use my account to inquire later and see if I can gather some intelligence." Lin Li nodded.
(End of Chapter)
Female bodhisattva - Slang for attractive women who post suggestive content online