Chapter 12
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When your body becomes Undead, your heart slowly stops being human too. Claire feels that way.
(......Maybe I don't hate myself now as much as I did when I had just become Undead.)
A noble Knight who fights for God. Claire had lived taking pride in that, so when she became Undead, it was unbearable.
So unbearable that she even attempted suicide.
That sense of resistance is no longer there now.
(......Whether it's due to becoming Undead, or for some other reason, the revulsion and fear I felt toward Yuurai have completely faded. I don't even mind being touched...)
Yuurai's body was warm. Claire's body, chilled by the winter air, was slowly regaining warmth from that body heat.
(......Such a strange Monster. She can kill tens of thousands without hesitation, yet she worries about me and seems oddly troubled... She's not like a Monster.)
Even Monsters intelligent enough to understand human speech are typically brutal and ruthless. They don't care about humans.
(I don't think she's pretending to care... Doing that wouldn't benefit Yuurai at all... If anything... the one pretending to be depressed is me.)
That initial despair is already gone. She hasn't regained her willpower, but she should at least be able to live a normal life.
Even so, Claire still wanted to pretend to be depressed.
(If I recover too quickly... it would feel like my human self had no value, and that frustrates me.)
Claire recalls the eighteen years she lived as a human.
Though she had many hardships, those days were dazzling and beautiful.
She had many irreplaceable and precious things.
(The me who lived those days is gone. The future I should have had will never come. ......And yet, I find myself thinking that's okay. That it's not so bad to throw away the past... to abandon my precious family and friends, and live on as an Undead.)
Claire let out a quiet sigh.
(......Yuurai is by my side. Maybe that's enough. If I accept that I'm someone heartless enough to throw away my past, then maybe things will be easier.)
Claire gently strokes Yuurai's head as she clings to her.
Her age is unknown. She looks about twelve, but her mental age is unclear.
Claire knows from what Yuurai has said that she was born in the darkness of the Dungeon and only recently came outside. She also heard how Yuurai ended up destroying an entire town. She understood the reason Yuurai claimed it was an accident. The humans were at fault too.
Even so, she's still a mysterious Monster with many unknowns.
Despite having a terrifying side, at her core, she still seems like a young child.
She's not just a being of strength.
(Yuurai seems worried about me, but I'm the one worrying about her... I feel like someone needs to stay by her side...)
In front of the unresponsive Claire, Yuurai looked completely at a loss.
That brought back feelings Claire had nearly forgotten as a Holy Knight.
Like wanting to help those in trouble.
Or wanting to save those burdened with anxiety.
Claire realized that even as an Undead, she didn't want to throw away those feelings that still remained.
Claire played with Yuurai's fine white hair with her fingertips. It stirred a faint sense of protectiveness.
"......It's not that I've opened my heart. But I won't reject you either. I still don't know what you mean to me..."
Murmuring softly, Claire shifted her position and gently embraced Yuurai.
That small but warm body slowly melted Claire's heart.
* * *
(......I'm being hugged by a girl.)
Yuurai wasn't asleep—she'd merely closed her eyes—so she fully sensed Claire's movement.
She had remained unresponsive even when her head was stroked or her hair was played with, but once she was hugged, she couldn't remain completely still. Her body tensed for a moment. Claire didn't seem to notice.
(She knows I'm awake. And still, she hugs me. Hmm... When someone does this, it really makes me feel like I'm a girl. If I were a boy, Claire wouldn't hug me. She wouldn't press her chest against me like this so casually.)
Feeling that softness, Yuurai's heartbeat quickened slightly. If her body were male, her reaction might have been different, but now it wasn't.
She simply found it pleasant.
(......Anyway, the fact that she responded like this means what I did wasn't wrong, right? There's no need to rush—it's fine if we slowly grow closer...)
They spent time where only each other's breathing could be heard.
Then, thirty minutes—or maybe an hour—passed.
Before she realized it, Yuurai had truly fallen asleep.
When Yuurai next opened her eyes, Claire was no longer beside her.
"......Claire?"
Still a bit dazed, Yuurai looked around for Claire.
Claire, standing in front of the closet, wore a deep navy dress with minimal decoration. Around her neck was a silver necklace.
Something must have changed in her heart, because she no longer hung her head in lifelessness.
"......Claire, you look great."
With blue skin and hair, and now navy clothes, she might seem obsessed with blue—but there was no denying she looked beautiful.
"......Thank you."
"Oh, you finally spoke. Feeling a little better?"
"......I don't know."
"I see. Hey, want to go explore a Dungeon together? We can hunt for treasure, fight Monsters. Going outside once in a while might be nice, right?"
"......Is that an order?"
"Hm? Hmm... then yeah, it's an order."
(Is there some meaning to it being an order? I don't know, but... whatever, it's fine for now.)
"Then I have no choice."
"Alright, let's go."
Yuurai got off the bed, approached Claire, and took her hand.
Claire followed quietly without resistance.
"Ah, but are you okay in that outfit? We're heading to a Dungeon, you know."
"......I think it's fine."
"Then it's all good. Well, Monsters usually don't attack us, and even if one does, I can handle it. It'll work out somehow."
(I still don't know why Claire came back to life, but at least it's a step forward! I hope she gets even better from here on.)
There was no smile on Claire's face. But she wasn't wearing a gloomy expression either.
Content with that alone, Yuurai squeezed Claire's hand tightly.