Chapter 50: Midterm Exam (5)
Maybe it was because we were too openly flaunting how leisurely we were living, but while we were eating venison for lunch, another team launched an attack on us.
Of course, Anastasia handled it all on her own, so it ended up being nothing more than a minor incident.
The attackers almost became the attacked instead. Her greatsword had cleaved one of them halfway through before they were teleported away, so they probably survived.
Georg had guaranteed that no one would die from these encounters, so I wasn’t too worried.
That’s what they get for being so greedy.
Humans can survive for three weeks with just water, but seeing them unable to endure a moment of hunger and charging in like that was just pitiful.
“…Is everyone safe?”
After giving her sword a wide swing to shake off the blood, Anastasia turned to ask us.
“As you can see, we’re fine. Thanks, Anya.”
“…Anya, you’re amazing.”
“Y-Yes, thank you.”
It seemed like Iris wasn’t used to seeing this kind of violence, or maybe she was just naturally timid, because she spoke to Anya in formal speech.
If Anya had been born in my hometown, I’m sure the gods would’ve unanimously chosen her as a warrior.
She might have even joined the Imperial Royal Guard and earned a high rank. Her martial skills were on par with my older brother, who was the captain of the guard, after all.
Iris, on the other hand, would probably have been either an offering or a courtesan. She didn’t have any remarkable skills, but she was pretty.
Back in my homeland, the gods decided what kind of person you’d become as soon as you were born. I sometimes wondered what it would’ve been like if they had been born in my hometown instead of this continent.
But this continent lets people determine their own destiny, so it was all just a silly daydream.
“Dogeon, eat a lot. You got hurt, after all.”
Just as Actaeon was transformed into a deer after glimpsing the goddess Artemis naked, Dogeon nearly had his head split open for seeing me and Anya naked.
If Anya had put a little more strength into that throw, he wouldn’t be in this world anymore.
“…Yeah, thanks for being so considerate.”
The venison wasn’t of the highest quality since it came from an old doe that had given birth to many fawns. That’s probably why she obediently approached us when we called her.
Since she had already fulfilled her life’s purpose, she asked us to grant her the honor of becoming the flesh and blood of the “great ones,” so I obliged.
“Iris, you too.”
“Eek… M-Me too…?”
I knew she didn’t like me, but she was still part of our team. When it comes to group projects, you have to carry everyone, even if you don’t like them.
…Still, at least she’s cooperative. Back in college, I had to do the work of four people all by myself.
Even if she wasn’t much help, she made an effort to assist in building the shelter, and while her work was clumsy, she at least tried to help process the materials. That was enough to earn her a share of the meat.
“Th-Thank you…”
She was trembling like a frightened puppy. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant sight.
But even if I told her to relax, I doubt it would help, so I decided to just let it be.
She was fiddling with the pendant around her neck as if she were trying to calm herself down.
Just then, Anastasia returned to her seat and started eating the meat.
It annoyed me that only Dogeon was calling her “Anya,” so I decided I’d start calling her that too.
She didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she looked a little pleased.
“…Then, I’m going to look for herbs to treat Dogeon’s injury. Iris, will you help me?”
After we finished eating the deer, Anastasia offered to gather herbs for Dogeon’s wounds.
“M-Me? I-I suppose I can… Ugh, f-fine. It’s not like anything will happen while we’re gone…”
I think she muttered something under her breath, trying to be quiet enough that Anya wouldn’t hear, but I heard it loud and clear.
I didn’t know what she was talking about, and I didn’t care, so I just let it slide.
Once Iris and Anya left to gather herbs, the only ones left in the shelter were Dogeon and me.
“…So, Dogeon. Who was bigger?”
Anya had punished him, but I hadn’t given him my punishment yet.
I could forgive him for seeing me naked, but I couldn’t overlook him blatantly staring at Anya.
No, it’s precisely because we’re friends that I found it even more infuriating.
I wracked my brain for a way to make him suffer as much as possible and remembered a question I’d seen online in my past life.
“Hey, big bro, who do you think is prettier, me or that girl?”
It’s right up there with, “Who do you like more, Mom or Dad?”
No matter which answer you give, you can’t avoid anger.
If you say, “You’re prettier,” she’ll accuse you of ignoring her beauty to stare at another woman.
If you say, “That girl is prettier,” she’ll tell you to go be with her instead.
Back then, I wondered if it was okay to ask this kind of question, considering Dogeon and I weren’t in that kind of relationship.
But I remembered how my friend back in my previous life had been hit with this same question and didn’t know how to answer.
If my goal was to make Dogeon suffer, this was the perfect move.
“W-Well, you see, Hoyeon… I mean…”
The effect was immediate.
Just moments ago, he had been gently nursing his injured head, but now his hands waved frantically in the air as he desperately tried to explain.
But his efforts bore no fruit.
“Like I said… I mean…”
He just kept repeating himself, his mind clearly searching for a solution.
Even my friend, who was a master at social interactions, had been unable to answer this question.
I didn’t know how skilled Dogeon was in social maneuvers, but I was confident that he wouldn’t be able to answer either.
“…”
In the end, he gave up on repeating himself and fell completely silent.
“Why aren’t you answering? You saw with your own two eyes, didn’t you?”
With our chests pressed together and the distance between us close enough to smell each other’s scent, I glared up at Dogeon, applying as much pressure as I could.
But he remained silent.
Well, I suppose anyone with even a shred of guilt wouldn’t be able to answer this question.
Just as I was about to say that I’d let him off the hook since I figured I’d teased him enough, Dogeon opened his mouth.
“…Can I be completely honest?”
“Uh, huh?”
Huh…? This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
***
After living with her for about a month, I’d learned how to read Hoyeon’s emotions, even through her otherwise blank expression.
Right now, she is a little sulky.
If she were truly angry, the oppressive pressure she can generate would be much stronger.
Even those wide, unblinking eyes of hers had become a bit cute after seeing them so many times.
But that wasn’t the reason I couldn’t move right now.
It wasn’t because she was using pressure magic or anything like that.
It was because of the content of her question.
“Who was bigger?”
That’s a sensitive question for any girl.
Hoyeon was probably punishing me in her own way for seeing her and Anya naked.
She was the type to prefer this kind of psychological punishment over something physical.
I’d seen her use the same tactic when teaching Anya math, berating her with lines like, “With this level of ignorance, you’ll ruin your entire family.”
The intensity of her words had left me more shaken than having our chests pressed together.
My heart was pounding—not from physical pressure, but from the weight of the situation.
After racking my brain on how to avoid her wrath, I came to a strange conclusion.
Maybe I should just be honest.
“…Can I be completely honest?”
“Uh, huh?”
“Anya was bigger, but your shape was way prettier. You didn’t lose in size either.”
I had my reasons for saying this.
Hoyeon was surprisingly weak to compliments. She craved praise but would act all bashful if she received it.
So I figured that if I answered honestly while mixing in compliments about her, I might be able to diffuse the situation.
It was a bold, shameless plan even by my standards, but I had faith that Hoyeon would accept it.
“…”
She didn’t say anything.
But as I watched, her face started to turn redder and redder.
…Did I mess up?
I was still pressed right up against her, so she wouldn’t be able to hit me right away. But just to be safe, I carefully pulled away, creating some distance before dropping to my knees.
“…I’m sorry. That’s all I have to say.”
I had nothing else to offer.
I’d completely forgotten about Byeolbi watching us from the side.
All I could think was that I hoped whatever punishment she had in store for me wouldn’t be too painful.
“…Um, I’m going to… go think for a bit.”
But the punishment I had prepared for didn’t come.
Instead, Hoyeon left, saying she needed time to think.
I sat there alone, wondering what the right answer had been.
But, of course, no answer came.
***
“Haaa…”
My stomach felt tight.
It was probably because of my mating season, but I just couldn’t stay calm. I needed to step away for a moment.
That beast of a man… If you mess up, just admit you messed up like a real man and apologize.
Why did he have to add in unnecessary remarks?
He said my shape was prettier? That Anya’s were bigger, but mine had a better shape?
He had to be insane.
But what was even crazier was me, for feeling my mood lighten a bit after hearing such a blatantly sexual comment.
I swore I wouldn’t make any mistakes during this mating season.
At least nobody else had seen it. If someone had witnessed that moment, I’d have died from embarrassment on the spot.
“Ugh… hnn…”
I took deep, slow breaths to calm my burning body.
Even if it’s not because of the mating season, isn’t it only natural to feel flushed after hearing something so indecent…?!
“…Heh.”
I managed to cool down my overheated body, but I had no idea what to say to Dogeon when I went back.
“Thanks for the compliment?”
“What are you, a sexist pig?”
“Yeah, of course, it’s me, you idiot.”
“You disgusting little pervert.”
Ugh.
I didn’t feel bad, but I couldn’t just accept it with a smile either. The conflicting feelings had my mind in a twist.
…Fine.
If he wants to act crazy, I’ll just act crazy right back.
If I say something between a compliment and an insult, that should do the trick.
After steeling myself, I headed back to the shelter.
Dogeon was still on his knees, in the exact same position as before.
“…Um, thanks for saying my shape was prettier. But…”
I was about to follow it up with “sexual harassment is bad,” but I never got the chance.
Because at that moment, the entire mountain was suddenly filled with the overwhelming presence of the gods.
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