Translator: Marctempest
Editor: Rynfinity
Chapter 116
“Oh… that’s right. The colors… they’re the same colors as the clothes I wore on stage.”
It seemed like he finally realized why he used those colors.
When I smirked, Kang Se-hyun, the singer, spoke hesitantly.
“Is it me who’s weird right now… or is it you?”
“Me?”
“Yeah. You’re using your friend as an excuse, but aren’t you actually a fan of ours?”
“Yes. I’m a fan. That’s why I got your autograph back then.”
“No, what I mean is…”
Kang Se-hyun scratched his head and shook it.
“I don’t know. You’re really a strange kid.”
Unfortunately, it wasn’t a hurtful comment at all.
As I walked on without any emotion, Kang Se-hyun followed closely behind.
“How many of our videos have you watched? How many of our songs do you know?”
“Well, excluding the side tracks, I think I know most of them. Bi-hyuk said I should memorize all the senior’s songs in advance.”
“Bi-hyuk?”
“Yes. That’s the name of my friend who is a fan.”
There was no need to mention his last name.
“Oh, right. You said he was a trainee at our entertainment company before. I should greet him next time I see him.”
I’d appreciate that. We continued to move while having a casual conversation.
Soon, we reached the end of the gallery.
“Hello, In-jun hyung. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah! I mean, hi! Bam, Yeon-jae!”
Choi In-joon, the singer who looked like he had just arrived, was standing at the entrance.
His pupils wavered awkwardly as he looked at me.
“Hyung, if you’re comfortable with formal speech, you can use it. You can call me Bambi too.”
I spoke more gently because I still felt sorry for being annoyed last time.
But it seemed to have the opposite effect.
“Uh…”
I sighed as I watched Choi In-joon completely avoid my eyes.
I didn’t know how to deal with this.
Jin-bae hyung was still observing the gallery, and Kang Se-hyun had gone to greet other guests.
I sat on the sofa at the entrance, next to Choi In-joon. An awkward silence filled the air.
I decided to stay still, thinking he would feel awkward no matter what I did.
However, I could feel the nervousness radiating from the person beside me. Stop shaking your leg already.
“…Aren’t you going to look around the exhibition?”
“Uh? Oh, um, I’ve already seen everything.”
It was a signal that he could get up if he felt awkward, but it seemed he didn’t get it.
“You said you lived in the dorm together. Did you see it then?”
“Se-hyun hyung has a separate studio. He only draws there. I just hang out there like I eat meals.”
“I heard you two are really close.”
“Se-hyun hyung took care of me since I first joined as a trainee. He’s like a real brother to me. He nags a lot too. Last time—”
His voice was excited, but his eyes still shook uneasily.
I looked at the person avoiding my gaze and bowing his head.
‘I don’t bite… why is he like this?’
I was genuinely curious. Should I ask him or not?
The chances of meeting his members were slim now that the drama with Kang Se-hyun was over.
‘But there’s No Bi-hyuk.’
Well, it’s uncertain whether Bi-hyuk will continue to stay in touch after his debut.
If he does, there’s a possibility of getting involved because of him.
It’s inevitable to meet once in a while in this industry.
I decided it was better to ask clearly. So, I did.
“Hyung, are you mad at me for being annoyed that time?”
“What? No! Absolutely not!”
“Then, do you have a problem with me?”
“What are you talking about, Bambi? There’s no such thing.”
His eyes, which had been avoiding me all the time, met mine directly, confirming it wasn’t a lie.
“I hoped it was my misunderstanding, but it seems like you’re uncomfortable around me. If there’s something I need to fix, please feel free to tell me.”
Choi In-joon clamped his mouth shut.
His appearance was as foggy as mist, making it difficult to say anything more.
A long silence followed.
“…Yeon-jae, it’s true that I don’t feel comfortable around you.”
I knew it.
I nodded immediately, and the other person hastily added an explanation.
“It’s not because you did something wrong or need to fix anything! I don’t know why you’re thinking that, but I hope you don’t.”
“Then why can’t you be comfortable around me?”
“That’s… ha, isn’t it obvious? I’m your fan.”
“…?”
I looked at him with an expression of total incomprehension.
Seeing my face, the other person seemed even more flustered.
“Don’t you understand what I’m saying?”
“No.”
“When a fan meets someone they like, it feels like a dream, and it’s hard to believe you’re talking to them. Don’t you get that?”
I scrutinized his face, wondering if he was joking, but surprisingly, he wasn’t.
“Are you being serious?”
“Bambi, I’m more flustered here. Haven’t you ever liked something before?”
“Uh… not really? Oh, but I did tell Se-hyun hyung that I’m a fan of Space.”
“No, you’re not our fan.”
Choi In-joon shook his head firmly.
His resolute words, without any hesitation, left me feeling oddly conflicted.
“Why not? I know almost all of Space’s songs. I’ve watched your videos over a hundred times.”
“That’s not enough to be a fan.”
Then what qualifies someone as a fan? Do I have to buy the album?
Seeing the confusion on my face, Choi In-joon grabbed his head.
His blinking face was full of confusion, wondering how to explain this.
“Being a fan isn’t about how much you know. It’s about just liking something. It’s filled with affection.”
“So, is there a specific standard for determining affection? Like joining a fan club?”
“No, affection is just affection! It’s about feelings!!”
Choi In-joon looked like he was about to tear his hair out.
“Why aren’t we understanding each other even though we’re speaking Korean??”
I agree. I’m frustrated too.
The seemingly endless confusion ended when Jin-bae hyung and Kang Se-hyun came over.
“What are you two doing?”
“Hyung…”
Choi In-joon clung to Kang Se-hyun like he’d found a savior.
I moved towards Jin-bae hyung.
“…? Actor?”
“Did you enjoy the exhibition?”
“Yes. It was really nice! I think I had a relaxing time.”
I listened as Jin-bae hyung continued, holding onto the hem of his suit.
After a while, the two who had been whispering to each other approached.
With a somewhat delicate expression, Kang Se-hyun spoke first.
“Um, should we have a meal first?”
* * *
The meal continued in silence.
I wasn’t in a particularly good mood due to the reactions treating me like an alien, and Choi In-joon was busy whispering to Kang Se-hyun.
‘I should have just eaten with Jin-bae hyung alone.’
That would have been much more comfortable and pleasant.
I put the tasteless pasta in my mouth, zoning out.
The one who broke the silence was Kang Se-hyun.
“Yeon-jae, you’re having a fan signing event soon, right?”
“Yes, in about two weeks.”
“Is this the first time you’re meeting fans?”
“…….”
I stared at him, wondering if he was joking.
Realizing he wasn’t joking, I put down my fork.
I had no idea what the two had been talking about since earlier.
“Of course not.”
“Oh, have you met fans before?”
“Yes. You, hyung.”
“…? Me?”
“Yes. You said you were my fan when we first met.”
I couldn’t help but smirk at his clueless expression.
‘Hello. I’m Kang Se-hyun. I’m a fan. It’s an honor to meet you like this.’
Doesn’t he remember what he said?
I repeated what he said during our first meeting, and he stared at me with a dumbfounded expression.
“No, that was just a polite greeting…”
Who doesn’t know that? But still, he said he was a fan.
I couldn’t understand what he had been trying to say since earlier.
I felt a massive chasm form between the two of them and me.
The one who resolved this dilemma was Jin-bae hyung, who had been quietly listening to our conversation.
“Actor.”
“Yes?”
“The reason why Se-hyun and In-joon feel that the conversation isn’t going well is because you have different thoughts on ‘fans’.”
Jin-bae hyung patted my hand reassuringly and smiled.
“What do you think a fan is, Actor?”
I opened my mouth slowly, wary of any traps in this ‘1+1=2’ question.
“Someone who likes something.”
“Exactly. Whether the depth of that feeling is shallow or deep, as long as they like it, they can call themselves a fan.”
I nodded obediently.
“But the fans who will come to your signing event in two weeks probably like you a lot more than those you considered fans before.”
“…? Why?”
“Because they’re not just people who casually use the term fan for polite greetings, like Se-hyun. They’re fans who are willing to come from all over the country just to see you.”
They’re coming from all over the country just to see me?
Jin-bae hyung continued to explain, regardless of my confused expression.
“In my opinion, In-joon is a fan who likes you enough to willingly attend the fan signing event. Is that right?”
“Yes. That’s right…”
Choi In-joon murmured, bowing his head again. It was the same reaction as before.
I blinked, not knowing how to process this information.
“So… being a fan is that serious… like the deep feelings Kim Ho-yoon has for Jung Han-na?”
“That varies from person to person. There’s no legal standard defining what it means to be a fan. But there definitely are people who like you that deeply. Purely, of course.”
I felt immense pressure all of a sudden.
I had thought of the fan signing event as just a place to meet strangers, but it started to feel different.
People who like me that much exist?
“Why…?”
“…….”
“Why do they like me when they don’t know me?”
I could understand why Kim Ho-yoon liked Jung Han-na.
It wasn’t something that could be explained with reasons. It was just emotions.
But how can someone who doesn’t know me like me that deeply? Is that even possible?
I felt uncomfortable, like I was suffering from indigestion. It was the same sensation I felt when I received a birthday present.
I wished Jin-bae hyung would send everyone else away like last time.
But he didn’t do that this time. He just held my hand and said,
“Actor. You know now that someone can like someone else without any reason, right? And that it’s possible to like someone deeply even without knowing them well.”
I nodded slowly.
Both Baek Seo-jin and Kim Ho-yoon. These were feelings I had recently begun to vaguely understand.
“But is it still difficult for you to accept?”
“What is?”
“The fact that the someone could be you.”
I don’t know. That kind of thing.
This time, my mouth shut tightly like a clam. Now I couldn’t say anything to the mist.
I closed my eyes and replayed what I had just heard.
I felt nauseous, but I endured it.
Since it was Jin-bae hyung, it was clear that it was something he said for my sake.
Denying it here because it was hard to understand would be childish. But still….
“Let’s… stop here for today, hyung.”
My quiet words were met with a calm agreement.
Kang Se-hyun, who silently stood up, patted my head at the entrance of the restaurant.
“There are still two weeks left. Don’t be too scared.”
“…….”
He added that I could contact him anytime if I had questions.
Two weeks passed like that, and the long-awaited fan signing event approached.