Chapter 84
I'm leaving the handling of Shita Chichigasky to Gii-san and Shimaenaga-san.
Now, the remaining two are Vladimir and Shirokko.
"Finger Man... you're just as monstrous as the rumors say."
"Shirokko, you look like you'd be worth killing."
"...Before the fight, you asked about EXP... looks like the Doctor's setup is letting the underlings absorb the EXP."
"Exactly. (Well, more like it's being sucked up without permission.)"
"I see... (So he uses every resource to its fullest. A cold-blooded rationalist. No wonder they say he's the boss of a major criminal organization.)"
Shirokko has that smug face. His eyes are clear. He's staring straight at me. It's only a matter of time before 'Love so sweet' starts playing.
"But you must have a conviction. A will that's clear, hard, and unbreakable, like steel."
"Steel... yeah, of course. I've sacrificed a lot to attain it. You couldn't even imagine it. (You wouldn't understand how many cold stares I endured to obtain 'Steel Spirit'...)"
"I thought so... you're just like me... but even stronger."
"!"
Huh?! Is Shirokko saying he went through Power Week to get 'Steel Spirit'?
"Could it be... Power?"
"? Power...? (Is that some kind of code? Power... Power... Oh, right, I remember now. 'That man' is said to be called a Power in theology, a virtue angel who destroys demons because of his immense strength. That must be what he means.)——That's right, Power."
Whaaat?! So it really is Power?! (Mysterious excitement)
So I'm not the only victim. I suddenly feel a weird sense of camaraderie.
Maybe he'll understand my suffering? A friend? My friend?
"You're a man who rarely dirties his own hands, who gets things done by moving others. Just like that man."
Really? I don't think I've moved that many people... But, yeah, that sounds smart, so let's go with that.
"And yet, for the sake of your friend, you're willing to dirty your hands this time. I understand the meaning now. (You can't overlook evil. You want to live with pride in yourself. That's why you've resolved to swallow filth and immerse yourself in the darkness to hunt it. Even Powers would be your target.)"
"Hah... (I have no idea what he's saying, but dirtying your hands for a friend sounds kind of cool.)"
"You must understand the necessity of defeating great evil."
Defeating great evil...
"I'm talking about the bamboo shoots, of course."
Huh? Bamboo shoots? The great evil is bamboo shoots?
"I yielded to the bamboo shoots. (If he's the IQ 400 Finger Man, he'll get my meaning... If I explain too much, he might think I'm insulting him by assuming he wouldn't understand. I'd rather not anger this man.)"
"...Hah, I see."
So he used to be Team Mushroom, but he caved under pressure from Team Bamboo. I get it, I get it.
I mean, Takenoko no Sato does taste better. (War begins)
"With your unbreakable will, you should be able to defeat the bamboo shoots..."
Hmm, not sure about that. I'm actually Team Bamboo myself...
But Shirokko's a fellow survivor of Power Week.
Compared to that, the bond of Team Bamboo isn't all that important.
"Alright. Let's defeat the bamboo shoots."
"...! (That easily... He must know how strong Araragi is. So this is what a real hero is like...)"
Shirokko is crying, moved to tears.
Aww, it makes me happy to see him that happy.
"It's going to be a long battle."
So we're going to convert all the Bamboo faction to Team Mushroom... That's basically a lifelong mission.
"Then, Finger Man, is it okay to kill Dr. Shita Chichigasky...?"
Wait, it's not?
"For someone like you, I'm sure you have a plan..."
I don't, though?
Huh? Is it bad? I shouldn't take him down?
"He's the only key to the bamboo shoots. Right now, he's the most promising way to reach them."
Wait a sec, is this "bamboo shoots" not the bamboo shoots I think it is?
"Gii (Translation: Takeno—also known as the 'Faceless Man,' Araragi, my master. A creepy guy known for countless profane crimes.)"
Oh, Gii-san just spilled everything...
O-of course I already knew that. I remember Shurado talking about something like that!
But wow, what a villain.
If there's someone worse than Shita Chichigasky, I guess I'll have to punish him with my finger. The King of Evil. Maybe he'll give lots of EXP too. (※That's the real reason)
"Very well, if I have the time, I'll erase the bamboo shoot—the 'Faceless Man,' Araragi—myself."
"Hah, saying it like that, huh? Fuhahaha!"
Shirokko's laughing like crazy.
"Gii."
Gii-san seems to be deep in thought.
"Gii (Translation: If I consider my master's future, contact with him is inevitable. We should make preparations now.)"
"Finger Man, by the way, what's that slug?"
"That's Gii-san. He's smart."
"Smart, huh?"
"Yeah. Smarter than me."
"! (So that means a slug with IQ over 400...? He's tamed a truly abnormal creature, this Finger Man.)"
"Gii (Translation: Let Gregorious Shita Chichigasky roam free. If we can gather intel, we can prepare for the time to come. All for the sake of my master.)"
Gii-san has a serious expression.
He just said "Gii," so I guess he's made up his mind.
But in the end, he still smacks Shita Chichigasky with a black tentacle. Stress relief?
——After this, Dr. Shita Chichigasky was reduced to Level 1 EXP and then released, later taken into custody by the Dungeon Foundation.
Gii-san brainwashed Shita Chichigasky to sleep and dumped him at the ruins of Chiba Civic Hall. He killed him like 60 times, so I'm not sure letting him go was really okay. But hey, let's trust Gii-san's judgment.
"Well then, Shirokko, time to pay for killing Shimaenaga-san. With your soul."
He needs to be punished in proportion to his sins. In other words, I want to make it clear this isn't just about wanting EXP. Seriously.
Seems like Shirokko can be revived, so let's collect without hesitation.
"Chii chii chii! (Translation: I'll take this big guy as an appetizer first, Chii!)"
Don't call him an appetizer!
But, well, I can see your point.
But Vladimir... hmm, what should we do with him? He deserves punishment, but he kind of got beaten up as a bonus while we were taking down Shita Chichigasky...
Still, he clearly came here to kill me, so letting him go for free doesn't sit right.
But then again, he doesn't have any revival-type anomalous substances, so if we kill him, it's just over, right?
...... Hm? Oh, I just thought of something good.
"Shirokko, hand over your revival-type anomalous substance."
"...It's not exactly mine. It's on loan from Euro."
"Euro... (Wait, what's Euro?)"
"He's probably an explorer affiliated with the Dungeon Foundation headquarters in Europe."
Thanks to the Doctor's timely follow-up, we now know Euro means Europe. Yay. Euro equals Europe.
"And my 'Phoenix's Tail Feather' can't be removed without surgery. There's no way to extract it here."
So what do we do now about Vladimir?
Should we just kill him normally and drain him for one batch of EXP? (I'm getting lazy)
"Gii."
"Oh, Gii-san?"
Gii-san approaches Vladimir.
He smacks him with a black tentacle and ends him. That's a Calamity.
What the hell?! He really killed him!!
"Gii."
Gii-san opens my status screen and points at 'Until the Very End Together' with a tentacle.
So... he wants me to use that to bring him back?
But doesn't that only work on underlings?
I'd like an explanation of the specs around that.
"Well, let's just try it for now."
I gather up Vladimir's body chunks with my hands. (Steel Spirit)
Ugh, it's all warm and gooey. (Steel Spirit)
"Finger Man, I don't think you're sane."
Shirokko, you're being a bit loud. I've got EXP on the line here. Recycling some human meat chunks is totally normal. (※It's not actually normal)
"Chii chii chii! (Translation: Amateurs need to shut it—chii!)"
Shimaenaga-san, one of the Four Lords of the EXP Realm, starts yanking on Shirokko's long hair in fury. Seems the EXP pro is losing it over an amateur spouting lukewarm nonsense on site.
Now that I've finished gathering what used to be Vladimir, let's try Revive with 'Until the Very End Together.'
As I brought my hand close—ah, there it is, black lightning.
Whoa, the meat chunks are pulling together—Vladimir's back!
The process was grotesque and hard to watch, but setting that aside, it only cost 100 MP to revive him. Best cost-performance ever. My skill's OP as hell.
"Gii (Translation: An underling's underling is, in other words, an underling)"
I have absolutely no idea what he's talking about.
"Finger Man, since Vladimir is under Gii-san's brainwashing, he's Gii-san's underling. And since you've made Gii-san your underling, that would make Vladimir count as your underling too, wouldn't it?"
"Hmph."
"No need to explain it all—someone like Finger Man would get that much, right? Huh? Finger Man?"
"Hmph."
For some reason, Shirokko keeps overestimating me.
But sorry, I didn't get it at all.
Thanks, Doctor.
"Th-This place... What in the world was I doing...?"
Oh, Vladimir's back on his feet.
"Gii."
The black tentacle smashes him flat.
That was one hell of a splatterfest.
Let's grab the EXP while it's still fresh.
"Chii chii chii! (Translation: I'm off suspension, so I'm invincible—chii!)"
"Gii (Translation: Senpai, don't you think you've gone too far?)"
"Hang on a sec, Shimaenaga-san, Gii-san—if you keep this up, we're gonna have a war on our hands——"
Shimaenaga-san makes a lightning-fast dive to skim off the EXP.
Gii-san's tentacles intercept and restrain, I rush in to snatch the EXP myself, but a now-giant Shimaenaga-san shows terrifying speed and ends up taking all of it.
Ugh, I give up.
That bird isn't remorseful at all.
"Chii~♪"
Look how fluffy you've gotten. What's the big idea? I'll fluff you up, you hear? (Threat)