Chapter 56
——From the perspective of Gakidou
What makes a good explorer?
Endurance to withstand long hours of exploration?
Powerful skills? Equipment?
Or perhaps rare anomalous substances?
Or maybe diligence, training hard every single day?
Looking across all the top A-rank explorers, none of these truly apply.
"A good explorer is one who is obsessed. Miss Agent."
One afternoon, somewhere in Chiba Prefecture.
In the middle of a quiet residential neighborhood, there was a park hidden away in silence.
Sheltering from the warm spring sunlight, in a gazebo nestled in the shade of trees, Gakidou met with a certain man.
A man in a red suit and white tie, dressed like a businessman.
The color scheme was painful to the eyes, yet despite the flashy patterns, every piece he wore—his clothes, tie, watch, and bag—was elegant and refined.
The one thing that didn't make sense was the strange blindfold he wore.
A blindfold of bright red cloth, marked with a white cross.
Those in the know would immediately recognize it as his trademark.
His name was "Banker."
He was the top A-rank explorer at the JPN headquarters of the Dungeon Foundation.
"Banker" began to explain why being obsessed was a good thing.
The story began with the origin of explorers as a profession.
Not so long ago, explorers were seen as a fun occupation.
Step into an unknown labyrinth, pick up glowing stones, come back, and trade them for money.
It was undeniably a fun job.
But at the same time, it was also extremely dangerous.
One day, monsters leaked out.
Although the explorers led by the Dungeon Foundation resolved the incident, the unprecedented disaster that brought an entire city to a halt changed the public's perspective—and from that day on, explorers became heroes.
(Yeah, I know all this.)
Behind her sunglasses, Gakidou half-lidded her eyes in boredom.
That wasn't what she wanted to hear.
Having gotten hold of a photo of Finger Man, she was rapidly closing in on his true identity.
So, to strike while the iron was hot, she launched a forced investigation.
Just one more step. One more and she'd reach it.
Of course, Gakidou didn't remotely suspect that the Mister Sunglasses she knew could possibly be Finger Man—Akagi Hideo. Even when they met at the hotel entrance, she didn't notice a thing. All she thought was, (Wow, those sunglasses look so cool... I want a pair too...) Honestly, one has to wonder where she was even looking.
(Finger Man—Akagi Hideo. I don't know who he really is, but I know he's male and a high-ranking explorer. My eye for lies is the real deal. If I question him, I'll definitely uncover the truth.)
Gakidou put on a solemn air and glared at Banker.
From the look in her eyes, Banker could tell how serious a matter had brought this girl to him.
"This isn't what we should be talking about, is it?"
"I'm here as part of an investigation. (Is Finger Man—Akagi Hideo) you?"
——I'm here as part of an investigation. You—
"I see, you're investigating me. Very well. It may be beyond ordinary comprehension, but I'll tell you."
(No way—did I hit the mark? Banker is Finger Man? That would actually make sense. If the top A-rank was working behind the scenes...)
"Will (you please) talk (now? It's about time this mystery) re(aches the final) so(lution)"
——Talk, you scum.
"You're quite the sharp-tongued young lady, aren't you?"
Banker gave a strained smile and adjusted the position of his blindfold.
"I've committed more sins than I can count."
(So it really is Finger Man...)
"There's no way to atone for these crimes, nor can I escape the gaze of the evil god."
(Evil god... No doubt about it. Finger Man once said, 'Power? ——Do you desire it?' and tried to lure the natives of Gunma to the dark side.)
"A sinner—I suppose I deserve to be pointed at from behind."
(Pointed at from behind... Only Finger Man talks like that! (*Not actually true.))
Finally, Banker began to speak of his sins.
Gakidou held her breath.
The shocking past that the top A-rank had hidden until now was about to be revealed.
"To date, I've been involved in 810,081 cases of Lucky Pervert incidents. Or perhaps I should say, caused them—socially, that might be more accurate."
"......(What in the world is this man even talking about?)"
"Since you seem to know quite a bit, I'll tell you. A secret I've kept for 43 years. I was born with a special gift. A Lucky Pervert constitution. Thanks to this, I've been so successful as a dungeon explorer that I received the JPN Best Explorer Award three years in a row. But at the same time, this trait has caused a lot of trouble for beautiful girls. This blindfold? Haha, you really are sharp. Yes, you're absolutely right. If I see a pretty girl in my field of vision, there's a high chance I'll snap the strings of her panties and end up in a tangled mess. I wear the blindfold to prevent that. What's that? A magic eye? A seal for a magic eye? No, no such cool backstory."
"......Pervert."
"No, that's a misunderstanding. I'm not a pervert."
"Pervert."
"No, I'm not a pervert."
"Pervert."
"No, I'm not a——"
"Pervert."
"No, I——"
"Pervert."
What followed was an elementary-school-level water fight of name-calling until both sides fell silent.
Gakidou took on a more formal tone and asked, "Then what kind of person would be a pervert?"
"Let's see. Someone who's so obsessed with Lucky Pervert incidents that they deliberately try to cause them, perhaps?"
"That's a pervert."
"Exactly. No excuses there. An undeniable pervert."
"You're a pervert too."
"No, I'm not a pervert. That's a misunderstanding."
This pervert stubbornly refused to admit he was a pervert.
"A man accidentally snapping the strings of a pretty girl's panties isn't such a strange phenomenon. Today, physics has advanced so far that, alongside the Paizac-Chiton's Law of Universal Bust Attraction, the Panty String Theory has already been established. Just like with breasts, men are biologically incapable of resisting panties."
With his blindfold still on, Banker looked up at the dusty rafters of the gazebo's ceiling.
His expression was utterly unashamed.
"Lucky Pervert is a whim of the gods."
"(Now) matter (what you say, it doesn't change the fact that you're) a (pervert)"
——What, you scum.
"If the gods pour even a drop of interest, it can happen to anyone."
"......God?"
"In fact, if you're chosen, you might even be able to draw in a Lucky Pervert or two. Yes, I'm sure of it."
The pervert adjusted his blindfold and concluded with this:
"If you want to trigger a Lucky Pervert, strive to be a good human being. Do your best and wait for the perversion. It's a very famous proverb."
————
An outrageous Daily has arrived.
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★Daily Mission★
Let's keep at it, little by little every day!
'Sudden! Lucky Pervert'
Suddenly, be a Lucky Pervert 0/1
Consecutive days: Day 101
Steady Rank: Platinum Multiplier 10.0x
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Isn't this just a criminal act?
Also, isn't the definition of Lucky Pervert way too vague?
I mean, where does "lucky" end and "not lucky" begin?
"Chii chii chii"
Ugh, Shimaenaga-san is staring at me really hard...
Shimaenaga-san, the morale officer of Team Finger Man, is basically a person of great character.
She keeps a strict watch on any lewd developments.
But so what?
Continuing the Steady Rank is what matters most.
There are still 24 hours left.
I'm definitely going to pull off a Lucky Pervert.
So, with that, I'll move from the EXP factory to the first floor.
I'll update "Today's Hunting Grounds" and head back to camp.
When I step out of the movie theater, the sky is still dark and it doesn't feel like morning.
But of course, this is dungeon camp.
The lights shine bright, making it look like daytime.
The foundation staff are bustling about.
It's about the time when early explorers leave the hotel and start heading out.
While the world is getting fired up to do its best today, I'm here alone, wondering "how can I pull off a Lucky Pervert?"
I'm starting to feel like a terribly shallow fool. Pathetic.
I mean, can you even pull off a Lucky Pervert just because you want to?
"No, I've got this—Buchi."
My partner, which I've polished with a cloth every day without fail.
I believe all the good luck that's happened to me is thanks to this guy.
That's how reliable it is.
I'm sure it'll bring me something good this time too.
"Ah, good morning, Akagi-san!"
"Good morning, Shurado-san."
"So you came out of the movie theater, huh? I figured once you could reach the supply base, you'd become a shut-in explorer... and you did!"
"Shut-in explorer?"
"Yes! Once you dive into the dungeon and start using the supply base as your stronghold, you rank up to shut-in status!"
"Feels more like a rank down from society's perspective though."
Shurado-san is cute again today.
I hate myself for thinking only about Lucky Pervert stuff in front of such a nice person... ugh.
By the way, for some reason Shurado-san isn't wearing her usual receptionist outfit, but sports gear. It's probably basketball wear and basketball shorts. On her chest, it says in English: "Dungeon Valkyries," like a team name.
"Oh, this? Actually, I was just playing as a sub for the foundation's women's basketball team!"
"Wow, so you play basketball?"
"Nope! It was my first time!"
"......"
Why was she called in as a sub...?
Maybe she's so strong that even as a beginner she's useful?
Totally possible. Shurado-san seems like she can do anything.
I mean, it's 5 AM right now. Where the heck did that game even happen?
Well, anyway, let's get an appraisal...
"Whoa! A trap room!! You found an insane anomalous substance! I can't believe you got it uninstalled! This is a historic discovery! As expected of our beloved explorer!"
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Today's Appraisal
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Small Crystal 2,174 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Small treasure chest 20,000 yen
Treasure chest 100,000 yen
Treasure chest 100,000 yen
Treasure chest 100,000 yen
Treasure chest 100,000 yen
Treasure chest 100,000 yen
Treasure chest 100,000 yen
Treasure chest 100,000 yen
Treasure chest 100,000 yen
Treasure chest 100,000 yen
'Trap Room River' 995,268,541 yen
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Total 996,630,715 yen
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Dungeon Bank Account Balance 1,000,328,426 yen
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Shurado Investment 70,264,198 yen
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Total Assets 1,070,592,624 yen
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"With this, the foundation has secured its tenth trap room in the world! This is a huge deal!"
"A billion yen in assets..."
"Ehehe, we've taken one step closer to our dream!"
Ugh, the amount is so huge I can't hear anything anymore.
This is beyond bourgeoisie... it's like bourgeoisiean, bour-bourgeoisie, bour-bourgeoisie-bour-bourun... Anyway, it's bourgeoisie! (*I couldn't think of a better term)
"Alright, I'll go ahead and transfer the funds from the bank to Investment!"
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Dungeon Bank Account Balance 328,426 yen
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↓ 1 billion yen
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Shurado Investment 1,070,264,198 yen
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Total Assets 1,070,592,624 yen
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I'll never again have to worry about what to eat for lunch and give up because of the price. I'll never again have to settle for a regular portion just because the toppings are too expensive. I'll eat what I want, when I want, as much as I want. This is happiness. The power of money.
"Akagi-san? Akaaagi-saaaan!"
"......Hah! Sorry, I passed out for a second from the shock of becoming a wealthy man."
"That pronunciation is so pretentious! Especially the 'vieux' part of 'debut'—it's just obnoxious and infuriating!"
Watching Shurado-san laugh heartily and smile fills my heart with warmth. This too is happiness. Happiness.
Once the appraisal is done, the Foundation staff start murmuring, "That's the 'trap room'... first time seeing it," and stop working as they gawk like nosy explorers.
In the middle of all that, Shurado-san and a Foundation staff member keep working diligently, transferring treasure chests one by one into the container with a "heave-ho, heave-ho."
And then, at that moment,
"Waaaah~! I tripped~!"
A female Foundation staff member falls spectacularly.
Her skirt flips up. Just a bit more and her panties would be visible.
That fall was way too unnatural!
C-Could this be it!?
Buchi, did you just successfully trigger a special Summon of Lucky Pervert?!
Eyes wide open, I stare intensely! Burning the pattern of those panties into my memory!
"Chii chii chii!!"
"Wah, S-Shimaenaga-san!?"
"Chii chii chii!"
"Tch! I can't see the panties! Get out of the way!"
I grab Shimaenaga-san, who's blocking my view, and squeeze.
"Owiee~ I tripped~"
"Are you okay, newbie! You've got to be more careful!"
Dammit.
Shimaenaga-san blocked the perfect Lucky Pervert moment.
"Chii♪"
"Tch!"
"Akagi-san? Is something wrong?"
"No, it's nothing......"
Even if Buchi is my lucky charm, pulling off Lucky Pervert multiple times isn't easy——
"Aaaah~! I slipped and the water's—!"
What!?
The same female Foundation staff member is about to dump mineral water all over Shurado-san. I-If this continues, Shurado-san will be soaked through!! Yes, do it! Do iiiit! Goooooo!!!
"Chiiiiiiiiii!!!"
"S-Shimaenaga-san!?"
Shimaenaga-san shoots forward like a bullet, grows huge, and rescues Shurado-san—robbing me of the glorious see-through bra opportunity.
Curse you, you flying puffball!
"Wow, Shimaenaga-san, you saved me! Thank you so much!"
"Chii chii♪"
Shurado-san hugs Shimaenaga-san in thanks and fluffs it up.
Dammitttttt!
If I wasn't going to see the see-through anyway, I should've saved her myself!
Then maybe I would've been the one getting fluffed! (※That would not have happened.)
"Shurado-san, are you alright?"
I approach her casually.
"Ah."
I trip even though there's no step. Totally not on purpose.
Good job, Buchi. Well played.
Use ancient Lucky Pervert to fall right on top of Shurado-san!
"Chii chii chii!"
"Tch! S-Shimaenaga-san!"
The puffball crashes into me, and instead of getting tangled up with a beautiful girl, I end up just fluffing the puffball.
"Ahaha, Shimaenaga-san really loves helping people! So good, so good! You're such a sweetheart!"
"Chii♪"
Shimaenaga-san gets head pats for being a good fluff.
Why is it always Shimaenaga-san...... I want to be praised too......
"Ah! Look, Akagi-san!"
"What is it?"
"When Shimaenaga-san is just the right size, they bounce like a basketball! Isn't that funny?"
"Ch-Chii!? Chii! Chii!!"
Shurado-san just started dribbling Shimaenaga-san like a basketball.
I don't even know what's happening anymore, but if Shimaenaga-san's in trouble, I guess it's fine.
I just want her to reflect a little.
"Oh, right, Akagi-san, want to go to Saizeriya for breakfast after this?"
"Breakfast? Are you asking me out for food...?"
"Ahaha, of course! What else could it be!"
Ugh, it's the usual Shurado-san...... I was—was about to pull some pervy prank on this kind of Shurado-san...... I've got to stop doing this stupid stuff.
There's something more important than Steady Rank, right?
Isn't that right? Everyone? Humans should have dignity, right?
You can't let something like a Daily Mission trample all over what really matters, right?
I don't need Lucky Pervert anymore.
"Awaawaah~! Please move out of the waaay!"
"That drum contains slime that only melts clothes! Get out of the way, you guys!"
A slime that conveniently melts only clothes?!
It actually exists?!
This is good, I can do this! I do want to see more of sporty Shurado-san, but I want to see even more of Shurado-san with more skin showing!! (Backflip with four twists from a hand-palm launch)
The drum containing humanity's greatest invention spills, and its contents begin to pour out. This is it. This is it! I'm begging youuuuu!!
"Chii chii chii!"
"You came, morality police! I won't let you interfere! Excalibur!"
"Chiiiii?!"
"Alright, now the nuisance is gone!"
"Finger Man! Touching that slime is dangerous! Let me handle this!"
Dr. flies in out of nowhere.
Get outta the way, old man! This ain't your scene!
"Excalibur!"
"Gyaaaaah!?"
"Okay, this time for sure, there's no one left to get in the way!"
Now Shurado-san should get all steamy and sexy—wait, huh, where did Shurado-san go?
She's gone. Shurado-san is nowhere to be found......
"Chii!"
"! S-Shimaenaga-san!?"
Nooo! My true partner, the Proof of the Chosen One, has been kidnapped by the morality police!
Huh? That means... I don't get the luck bonus anymore?
"Awawaaah~! Please move out of the waaay!"
"Explorer over there, dodge the slime that melts only clothes!"
Ah.
The ultimate convenient slime that only dissolves clothes.
I guess this is karma for forcefully triggering all those Lucky Pervert events and warping causality.
I end up getting slimed from head to toe.
There's no need to explain what happens next.
To get straight to the point, I ended up looking the lewdest of all.
"Who even wants this...?"
"Chii..."
"Gii..."
——Some time later
My true partner, the Proof of the Chosen One, Buchi, was taken away, and Shimaenaga-san escaped to the top of a utility pole. That ferocious bird probably intends not to return Buchi for a full 24 hours.
My clothes were melted off, leaving me stark naked.
Thanks to being an anomalous substance, only Adolphene's Holy Shroud remained intact.
So by tightly closing the coat like a flasher, I was at least visually acceptable and thus let off the hook.
It's my complete defeat.
I have no more moves left.
Lucky Pervert only works when Buchi is with me.
If you go perving on your own, that's just a crime.
Ah, once again, I think to myself.
There is no god in this world.
It's merciless.
I've steadily kept at it for 101 days until today... I've overcome every impossible challenge...
I never thought it would all end here.
"Is this the dressing room?"
A Foundation staff member, moved by my pitiful state, offered to lend me a supply-issued shirt and underwear, so I gratefully accepted. After all, if the cops questioned me while I was stark naked, there'd be no excuse I could give.
I flung open the sliding door with gusto.
"Huh? Where's my ribbon? I really need to organize my four-dimensional skirt soon... Wait, Akagi?!"
Shurado was in the dressing room.
What's more, she was in the middle of changing clothes.
The buttons of her white shirt weren't fastened yet, and her sporty, breathable underwear pushed aside the open shirt, gloriously accentuating her well-endowed twin hills and loudly proclaiming her convictions.
Her gracefully curved waist bent in a soft arc, flowing into her beautiful hips, sensually revealing her feminine allure.
Hmm, that's hot.
"Chii chii chii!!"
A white ball flew at me from the other side and smacked me hard.
Heh, morality police—you were a step too late.
Looks like I win this round. Gueh.
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★Daily Mission★
Let's keep at it, little by little every day!
'Sudden! Lucky Pervert'
Suddenly, be a Lucky Pervert 1/1
★Today's Daily Mission Complete!★
Reward: Tree of Experience Points
Consecutive days: Day 102
Steady Rank: Platinum Multiplier 10.0x
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