Chapter 42
What's the first thing you do when you arrive in Chiba Prefecture?
That's right, correct answer—you drink a piping hot coffee.
After three hours of transferring between trains.
I'm exhausted from the long journey, it's already pitch dark out, so I just want to relax for now.
I step into a cozy café with a nice atmosphere.
Now then, what kind of coffee should I order?
"Oh? You from out of the prefecture?"
A customer sharing my table started talking to me.
He's a dandy-looking gentleman.
His loosely slicked-back hair is stylish and doesn't show any signs of age-related hair loss.
His blue eyes sparkle with allure, making him look almost un-Japanese.
He's a real-life silver fox. Did he maybe appear in the live-action Witcher?
Neatly trimmed beard, clean shirt, a quiet yet elegant suit, and a modest Swiss wristwatch.
He looks like a well-groomed guy in his 40s who takes care of his appearance.
"Hello. Are you from Chiba?"
"Hello. Good manners, young one. But asking someone outright if they're from Chiba? That's nonsense. You won't survive in this land like that."
A warning from the dandy gentleman.
I better remember that. After all, he's dandy.
"There's that boldly named item—'The End of Coffee.' You should try it. If you've come to Chiba, it's a must-order."
He's right.
At the edge of the menu is a menacing string of characters.
It's about as intense as a man who's finished his karate journey.
Is this the ultimate weapon of the coffee world?
Well, you know, I may not look it, but I'm super picky about coffee, okay? (Said in that weird uncle-who-acts-like-an-expert tone)
I'll totally nitpick the heck out of it!
I follow the dandy's advice and place my order.
A high school girl waitress, with a face so beautiful it could wake you up, walks over.
Hmm, current score: 120 points. The End of Coffee passes.
"Thanks for waiting. Here's The End of Coffee."
A yellow can clunked down onto the table.
"Uh, um, this is... coffee?"
"That's right. This is the pride of Chiba."
The dandy gives me a look that says, "Now, go on, drink it."
Pretty bold for a canned coffee... so this is Chiba...
Guess I'll try it... whoa, sweet!!
It's so sweet I thought my bones were going to melt.
"Surprised?"
"Yes, what is this stuff?"
"It's a deadly potion that Chiba folks drink daily."
Hm? Looking closely, this can is labeled MAX Coffee.
"Yellow and black—caution stripes..."
"Looks like you finally noticed, young one. Indeed, these colors are the same hazard markings used for nuclear materials like plutonium. Did you know? If you lick plutonium... it's actually sweet."
"They're serving nuclear material in a café..."
"But that's just one facet of this independent nation called Chiba. What's scarier is that Chiba people believe 'coffee originated in Chiba.' As proof, they proudly revere Max Coffee—no, let's not use such a euphemism. Its true identity is Plutonium Coffee. They speak of this Plutonium Coffee as both the origin and the supreme form of coffee."
"This is my first time hearing it... I mean, calling such a hazardous substance the best coffee..."
"As further proof, they've given this Plutonium Coffee a taboo name—'MAX Coffee (Final Form)'—and worship it."
S-So that's how it issssss!!
I glance at the seat beside me and see a Chiba native gulping down Max Coffee without hesitation.
Incredible. Watching someone consume nuclear material without a second thought feels almost inhuman.
No, I seriously question whether they're even human.
From now on, maybe we should refer to them not as Chiba people, but as humanoid lifeforms residing in Chiba.
"Maybe I said too much, thinking you were just a clueless youngster from outside the prefecture."
"Dandy, have you been in Chiba long?"
"No, I just entered the country a short while ago."
"You sure know a lot."
"I've wandered through many danger zones. Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq... Gunma, Kyoto, Fukuoka, Kagoshima, Hokkaido... and now, Chiba."
Amazing. He's the real deal.
"There's one mindset you need when crossing danger zones—never let your guard down at any time."
The dandy rose from his seat and, saying "Well then, enjoy your Chiba life," departed gracefully.
I take another sip of Max Coffee.
Earlier I was overwhelmed by the dandy's sheer presence, but now I can drink it just fine.
Guess that makes me a Plutonist now.
I head to the register to pay.
"Your companion already took care of it."
"Huh?"
Was it the dandy?
He paid for me?
Whoa, that's cool.
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——From the dandy's perspective
To survey a world steeped in chaos, one needs broad insight and the ability to see its essence.
The dandy has always seen through to the truth behind things.
That's why he's still active today as an S-rank explorer.
"I hope that young man does well."
"Who are you talking about?"
Gakidou has her "uncle" in the passenger seat and is tearing through the city at 100 km/h.
Her top-tier handling is the only thing preventing a crash.
"Just some kid I don't know. But I feel like we'll meet again someday. By the way, Agent G, do you know what a speed limit is? I think you're going a bit too fast."
Gakidou nods.
She presses the accelerator and speeds up.
(Why is she accelerating? My niece sometimes acts in strange ways... No, wait, I see now. That's what it is, Agent G. You read between the lines... This is the peanut-independent state—there's no such thing as a speed limit here.)
"You got me, Agent G. You've really grown."
"(Nod)"
"If there's any rule of speed in this battlefield, it would be something like first cosmic velocity."
"(What is he) saying (this guy)"
"Right...? (My niece's word choice occasionally gets funky. But that's cute too.)"
While the dandy was reading between the lines of Gakidou's words, Gakidou too was unleashing her super-agent deduction skills.
(The dandy said, 'If there's any rule of speed, it would be first cosmic velocity.' My uncle, who lived abroad a long time, likes to speak in roundabout ways. The real meaning is—'Ha! Your Century can't even hit first cosmic velocity?' A challenge!)
"(Challenge accepted)"
The Century's engine roared as it blasted through the city.
This bloodline should not be allowed to own cars.
Note: First Cosmic Velocity = 28,400 km/h
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——From Akagi Hideo's perspective
After a bit of sightseeing in Chiba, it was already the middle of the night.
"Chi..."
"Gii."
Everyone seemed hungry, so let's head to the hotel quickly.
We check into the hotel secured for us by the Dungeon Foundation, enter the room, and drop off our luggage.
I soak Gii-san in a bath filled with a little warm water. Gii-san's fine as long as they have moisture.
I bought a cheese beef bowl from a chain restaurant outside for Shimaenaga-san.
Now then, let's go ahead and check out the dungeon.
"But still, bringing Shimaenaga-san and Gii-san to the camp is probably a bad idea."
Gii-san is fairly big, and Shimaenaga-san has gotten a bit pudgy too.
I have a feeling the alarms will definitely go off.
"Gii!"
"Hm? Gii-san?"
"Gigigigi... Gii."
Responding to Gii-san's call, I peek into the bathtub. There, Gii-san had shrunk down to palm size, like a tiny slug.
Oh, so you can shrink.
"Good job, Gii-san. Now you're a pocket slug."
"Gii♪"
"Chii!"
"Hm? Shimaenaga-san?"
This time, I respond to Shimaenaga-san's call and look over to the bed.
And there was Shimaenaga-san, now shrunk down to the same size as when we first met.
So you can shrink too, huh.
"Good job, Shimaenaga-san."
"Chii♪"
I tuck Shimaenaga-san into my chest pocket.
I hide Gii-san inside my sleeve.
Just by appearance, you'd never guess I'm carrying two Calamities. What a surprise.
"It'd be a mess if they were considered equipment, though."
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Akagi Hideo
Level 146
HP 22,523/22,523
MP 3,740/3,740
Skills
'Finger Snap Lv5'
'Phobia Syndrome Lv6'
'Single Strike Lv6'
'Steel Spirit'
'Probability Time: Coin Lv2'
'Super Metal Assault Lv6'
'Blue Pulsation'
'Black Swamp's Severer'
Equipment
'Blue Blood Lv3' G4
'Proof of the Chosen One' G3
'Labyrinth Conqueror' G4
'Adolphene's Holy Shroud' G3
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All right, good.
Since they're just tucked inside the sleeve, they're not being treated as equipment.
I mean, Gii-san doesn't have a ring like Shimaenaga-san anyway, so maybe the concept of equipment doesn't apply? Even Shimaenaga-san, as long as they're just in the chest pocket, doesn't count as equipment.
If things get dangerous, I'll have Shimaenaga-san escape with Gii-san.
And so, we arrived at Chiba Dungeon Camp.
Apparently, the problematic dungeon had formed inside the movie theater.
A security net had been set up in a 100-meter radius around the theater, and just a short walk from the hotel brought us to the outermost perimeter.
It had already turned into something like a festival, with images flooding SNS.
The Dungeon Countermeasures HQ had been set up in the theater's front lobby and concession area.
Incidentally, there's a family restaurant right across from the theater. The Foundation has rented it out as well.
Due to widespread traffic restrictions, the roadway and sidewalk are currently unified, so it's just a ten-second walk to reach the dining area.
Previously, since it was undeveloped land, they had set up a large number of tents and installed cafeterias and stores. But this time, being in an urban area, they've made temporary agreements with existing stores to provide welfare services for camp personnel.
"Good evening! You're here, Akagi-san!"
"Good evening, I'm here, Shurado-san."
"I'm starving! This is sudden, but how about dinner together, Akagi-san?"
It was Hungry Shurado-san.
Shurado-san is just true to her desires, so it can't be helped.
I like a girl who eats a lot.
"Let's go to that Saizeriya!"
Saizeriya... the super-budget holy-land family restaurant chain based in Chiba... but is it really safe? Considering the plutonium incident earlier, let's hope it's not a den of hazardous stuff.
We enter the restaurant and I order a Margherita.
Shurado-san orders a large pepperoncino and a meat doria.
"Ah, I want some spicy chicken too!"
Can't let Shimaenaga-san see this. Chii.
"Also, please add baked escargot to the order!"
Can't let Gii-san see this either. Gii.
"Well then, before the food arrives, let me give you this."
Shurado-san pulled a black box from her pocket.
It's a familiar item.
As expected, when I open it, there's a brooch inside.
The A-rank brooch has a vivid red gemstone that really shines.
"That's a ruby. Since ancient times, its red glow has been said to possess the magical power to summon victory. It grants its bearer the strength to overcome difficulties! It's a 4-carat gem, and the brooch was sculpted by a world-renowned artist, so make sure you don't lose it!"
I remove the sapphire brooch with the blue glow from my coat and hand it back to Shurado-san.
In exchange, I place the large, flame-like ruby on my chest.
And then, strangely enough, the shape of the brooch changed.
Just moments ago, it was a finely crafted, cool-looking piece of art, but now it had devolved into something smooth and plain, like a metal frame holding a ruby.
"Shurado-san, my brooch turned into a scrub version..."
"Ahaha, don't worry! That's just how it's designed!"
"Designed?"
"To the Dungeon Foundation, A-rank explorers are special assets. After all, only the top 0.5% of all explorers can reach that level. Each A-rank explorer is assigned points based on their activities, which determines their rank! The shape of the brooch changes weekly based on your rank!"
Rank...
"Since you just became an A-rank explorer, Akagi-san, you're currently ranked 61st—the bottom. Work hard to climb up the ranks, okay? If you stay at the bottom too long, there's a chance of demotion... though I doubt that'll be a problem for you, Akagi-san!"
Ugh, demotion sounds like the worst.
Guess I gotta work hard.
Now that I've got the ruby brooch, I want to raise my rank and evolve it from smooth to ruggedly sculpted.
I gently stroke the shine on my chest.
Starting today, I'm an A-rank explorer too.
"Ah, the food's here! Actually, I wanted to try the Margherita too... so, let's trade! Here's your pepperoncino, and I'll take a slice of your Margherita!"
Today's Shurado Exchange Rate
One fork twirl of pepperoncino: One slice of Margherita (1/6)
So this is what they call exchange rate risk.
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Max Coffee is delicious.
by Fantastic Novelist