This is the first time I’m leaving the room.
Of course, I go out once a day for blessings, but since I always go down to the underground with Hieronymus and come back up, I’ve only moved along the same path.
So officially, this is indeed my first outing.
Of course, the meaning of “officially” is that it’s just like that, so take note. Regardless of the actual situation.
Countless people who received my blessing have been wandering around this area.
So the map of this area is almost complete.
Therefore, the significance of this walk is not to look around but to move my body. What was it again? Did they say you should run for an hour?
When I trace back my old memories that have faded so much that only gray remains now, such a video comes out. But back then, I exercised for two days and quit.
This time, I’ll have to exercise more.
Hyunkeshuni followed behind me as I walked out of the room.
“Hey, Rebecca. What’s your purpose for coming out? If you’re going to eat warmth, I’ll have to stop you.”
“Don’t you prepare 3 people a day for that? I came out to run. To maintain the body, they say people need to run.”
It’s a tone as if I’ve seen it somewhere. She might think Rebecca Rolfe knows it, but I actually saw it in a video.
I don’t lie.
“Run. Right. Certainly, it’s not a bad method for training the body. But will you run with that body?”
Hyunkeshuni said that while pointing at my body. I looked down at my body. I can’t see the lower part well because of my chest, but the body is healthy. I turn my body to check the range of motion.
It moves well. It moves flexibly here and there.
I can even easily do poses I’ve never done when I was a man.
I do a split with my legs in an I-shape, do a handstand, and then stand on the floor.
“The body moves well.”
Looking at Hyunkeshuni, she’s looking at me with an expression like she saw something she shouldn’t have. Then she scratched the back of her head vigorously and approached me.
And she lifted my chest with her hand. Her hands are extremely small. It seems like I could lick the light through her hand. It’s close enough that I could get warmth.
Of course, I endure.
Yes. Not yet.
I still have to endure.
As I was honing my patience like that, Hyunkeshuni lifted my chest a few times and then grabbed my clothes and touched them. And sighed deeply.
“If you move in such thin clothes with such heavy things attached, not only the clothes but your body will be ruined. There are clothes for fixing them, so wear those. Do you remember?”
Clothes, huh.
There are several in other people’s memories. For example, Isla also had trouble moving because she suddenly became an adult body after receiving my blessing.
She has memories of trying various clothes at that time.
But there’s none in Rebecca Rolfe’s memory.
“There’s no such item in Rebecca Rolfe’s memory.”
“Then I’ll prepare it for you. How about going back to the room for now?”
Ah, I see.
Hyunkeshuni didn’t want me to leave my room. She needs at least time to prepare.
Was she just waiting for an opportunity to tell me to go back?
Or is she trying to test me because a good reason happened to appear?
I know this person hasn’t relaxed her tension yet.
Sometimes when she looks at me, she smiles painfully. Most of the time I think it’s because it’s funny, but it’s actually the opposite.
It’s like a habit. A very old habit.
She laughed instead of making a scared expression when she was afraid. She’s been laughing for so long that no matter what her actual age is, she’s forgotten how to make a scared expression.
If such a person speaks while being afraid, I’ll go along with it.
“Yes. I understand.”
So I turned my body and moved my steps back to the room where I live. While doing so, I subtly observed Hyunkeshuni’s expression. She’s relieved.
And below that expression. There’s light at the center of a person. Compared to the average, a quite large light and very little warmth compared to the light.
Large light and much warmth.
Large light and little warmth.
Small light and little warmth.
These three exist.
But I’ve never seen small light and much warmth.
The light is a vessel, and warmth is something else.
At first, I thought it might be potential, but if so, I don’t understand why babies have little warmth. So the identity of warmth is still in a fog.
I’m guessing that the light’s color changes when I’m contained because I’m in the vessel. Originally it’s a clear glass, and there’s water in it, but when I enter, it becomes muddy water.
In other words, Hyunkeshuni has an extremely large vessel.
I’m looking forward to when the inside becomes warm someday.
If possible, I want to get a lot of warmth. So not yet.
I returned to the room.
After returning like that and sitting in the chair I often sit in, Hyunkeshuni left saying she’d look for underwear.
The words about looking for underwear are probably true. But that’s not all she intends to do. There’s a high possibility she’ll try to tell Hieronymus.
But it’s okay.
It’s still fine.
Because Hieronymus’s gaze when looking at me completely sees me as his subordinate.
Yes. He thinks he’s completely tamed me. In his gaze, actions, and expressions, I can see the contempt of looking at someone lower than himself.
Especially when he uses honorific language to me, his displeased look is really a sight to behold.
But I don’t mind.
Yes. I can read everything, but I have no intention of saying I know unless I speak. Because he didn’t ask, right? If he had asked if I could read his expressions, I would answer yes.
I have no intention of lying.
So Hieronymus is likely to think like this.
Rebecca Rolfe’s body weakens if left alone. And she went out because she needed exercise, but came back at Hyunkeshuni’s words.
It’s a creature completely under control.
Tsk tsk.
The weakness of the creature is visible.
It obeys orders.
There’s no problem anywhere.
Because I’ve consistently shown a low intelligence appearance, there’s no need to think complexly about how he thinks when he sees me. Unfortunately, I just see a lot, but I’m not particularly smart. I can’t do complex calculations and that’s just it.
If I became a monster, I wish I had become a genius like a proper monster.
There’s no use wishing for something that doesn’t exist.
So I just need to lower myself to make it easy for me to guess.
For warmth, I can only move forward while thinking hard with the cards I have in hand.
I need more warmth.
As I was making plans for the future like that, the door opened. And Joanna entered carrying new blankets and covers.
“Welcome back, Joanna.”
“Yes, Miss Rebecca. I’m back. Ah, could you move aside a little in case we bump into each other?”
Joanna’s arms are full of blankets. But following her gaze, I can see that she knows exactly where I am through reflections in mirrors or metal.
There’s no way I’d hinder someone who’s working hard to clean the room I live in, right?
I stood up from my seat, picked up the chair I was sitting on, and stood in the corner.
Seeing my appearance, Joanna smiled slightly and went to the bed carrying the blankets in her arms. And she skillfully tidies up the place.
The mattress inside looks too big for a woman to lift, but Joanna can lift a person-sized water container with one hand.
She’s quite strong among those who received my blessing.
But her light isn’t that big. Average to below average.
So it seems like having a large vessel doesn’t necessarily mean you can exert great power.
I’m not sure.
“Miss Rebecca. Where did Miss Hyunkeshuni go?”
“She went to look for underwear.”
“Oh my, underwear? That should all be in this drawer here? That underwear is Miss Rebecca’s, right?”
Joanna says while putting the cover on the mattress. She said underwear, but she knew it wasn’t Hyunkeshuni’s clothes but mine?
While inwardly finding it interesting, I answered that it was.
Then Joanna spread the cover well, shook the blanket a few times, and it’s neatly folded and organized.
Her skill is amazing.
And she approached me. I see a woman with blue skin, but if I say blue, you might think of a blue bruise, but it’s a slightly different shade of blue. Looking at her appearance, she looks more like a girl than an adult.
Although her eyes have become what’s called demon eyes in certain works, with black sclera instead of white, making her look alien, which covers that appearance.
Joanna approached me and smiled gently.
“Seeing it’s a clothes I’ve never seen before, were you perhaps trying to go outside?”
She understood well.
Joanna isn’t just a gentle person. Rather, it’s very surprising that she makes such expressions.
After being abandoned by her husband and kicked out of the house, she did all sorts of hard work. So she deceived people, and even sent them to dangerous places knowing they would die.
And a few coins as payment.
She lived like that. If you don’t take them to a place with magical healing like a temple, miscarriage is quite fatal and damages a person’s body in this world. It damaged not only the body but also the mind.
She’s a typical person who became evil after being soaked in misfortune. And it was the same even after relying on the Future Hope Church.
A life of just living, slandering others and pulling them down while climbing up.
Eventually, when her broken body couldn’t hold on any longer and started to decay, she was finally driven out. And while she was dying, she was dragged in front of me as an experimental subject by Hieronymus.
“Yes, that’s right, Joanna.”
“Then Miss Hyunkeshuni went to look for exercise underwear? If it’s such clothes, there’s someone who knows well. Shall I bring that?”
Joanna said that while picking up the chair in front of me and putting it back in its original place.
“It’s not too late to do it after checking what Hyunkeshuni brings.”
Joanna nodded. There’s no light of faith in her gaze as she looks at me. She’s just taking care of me because I’m a high-ranking person. In her memories, she was leaning on the Future Hope Church as a pillar of her heart, so I thought she might be obsessed with me, but no such distortion is visible at all.
Rather, she’s changed very healthily. During the day she takes care of me, and when night comes, she goes to where the warriors of faith train and trains.
So she’s crossed paths with not only Isla but also Wide, but neither of them paid any attention.
And she doesn’t tell her opinions to anyone. She quietly bows her head and passes by. Most people who received my blessing have their egos inflated and changed to believe in their own power rather than God.
Or did she know what I was thinking because of her experience?
Maybe she’s just treating me like an animal, taking care of me with the sentiment of caring for an animal in a zoo.
So we just maintain a lukewarm relationship.
Ah, there was a time when I surprised Joanna once. One day, my harvesters were fighting with knights with light-wrapped swords far away, so I wanted to focus on that and laid Rebecca Rolfe on the bed and concentrated on that side.
After the battle ended, I saw Joanna reading a book next to Hyunkeshuni. As soon as Rebecca Rolfe got up from her seat, Joanna closed the book.
So at that time, I just told her to look. To do what she wants to do.
She was strangely surprised then. Of course, nothing changed after that.
If anything changed, it’s that she reads books from the bookshelf in Hyunkeshuni’s place when I’m staying still?
But since it’s boring to deal with me staying still, I should make her do something.
Because I’ll take everything away when she dies.
I hope she gathers as much as possible. Then I can take more when I take it away. Warmth is still the most important thing unchanged. But it’s also fun to lick memories.
It’s roughly like this.
This is how I’m living in this spacious room.