Chapter 44: Escape Route Cut Off [side Yukari Tomonaga]
Third week of October, and the time limit for my diet is coming up next week.
56→53kg, just 3kg to go until my goal.
It's miserable.
I'm at my limit, really at my limit...
What's keeping me going is sheer determination.
Everyone's expectations, competing with myself, the specific numbers, wanting to prove myself!
And just as much as that, I'm thinking, "Isn't this enough already?" and "My body hurts!" and "I'm at my stress limit!" and "I hate this lifestyle!" and "The top clique is scary!"—so many negative feelings!
Every day, I end up relying on Kousuke-kun, getting spoiled, sulking, getting angry, taking it out on him, even crying.
Kousuke-kun takes all of it in. No matter what, no matter when, he's always kind and sincere, straightforward and honest.
That's why I can keep trying! Even when I'm completely worn out, Kousuke-kun supports and encourages me.
Kousuke-kun! Kousuke-kun!
On the second day of the two-day culture festival, I've got something I want to tell Kousuke-kun! Like a preview? I already announced it!
No, I told him myself to push myself, to cut off my own escape route.
It's basically a confession, isn't it...?
At the start of summer vacation, I blurted out a confession to Kuzu-kun, the guy I'd admired since middle school, by the side of the school building, and totally crashed and burned! After that, I spent summer vacation dieting with Kousuke-kun, who saw it all happen, and then I confessed to Kousuke-kun, who supported me through everything.
...I mean, it's basically already done, right?
Now Kousuke-kun calls me Yukari-san, too.
I might have crashed and burned during summer break, but these feelings are real!
I'll finish my diet,
Get the documentary polished up,
And regardless of the outcome, I want Kousuke-kun to see me at my best in the beauty contest!
If I can show him, and if I get the courage, right there, right then, I want to tell him... and maybe become boyfriend and girlfriend with Kousuke-kun!
☆ ☆ ☆
And now, the deadline for my diet is getting closer by the day.
Up till now, I was always chubby and the kind of girl who just went with the flow.
I want to change that! That's all.
I'm living with nothing but desperation, giving it everything I've got.
I focus only on what's ahead and cut off anything in my peripheral vision! Straight ahead, full speed!
My body and mind are both at their limits!
The people helping me are two groups.
One is Kousuke-kun and Captain Tanaka's film club.
The other is the top clique girls from Class 6, led by Osada-san.
The first group is, of course, the ones who proposed the diet project.
They're filming the documentary, and on the first day of the culture festival, the film club will show it in the gym. In the clubroom, it'll be playing nonstop for both days as the film club's activity presentation.
The latter group are my classmates, and for now, they're secretly backing me up.
Not only do they make sure I don't stand out, they also support my diet and take steps to keep me low-profile in different ways.
Of course, with the documentary and the beauty contest, I'm expected to help promote and gather customers for the class's maid café.
To be honest, dieting is so tough, and I'm completely exempt from helping with the class maid café prep and chores, plus Osada-san and the others are handling the diet support, so while I'm in class, I can focus on dieting without being bothered by anything.
At first, suddenly being moved to the top clique made me nothing but anxious.
But now I know that was Osada-san looking out for me.
It's actually really hard to make a person not stand out.
By making me wait in an empty classroom or keeping me next to Osada-san's prominent group in the classroom, they made sure I didn't attract attention, and made it so no one could mess with me.
I thank Osada-san for all her support with the diet—she's scary, so I use polite language.
Even now, I'm asking her for protein milk... the kind they sell in the vending machine.
Osada: "I don't think of you as a friend, Yukaricchi. But you're useful to the class, so I'm just giving you the treatment you deserve. Don't worry about it. I can see you're working hard, right?"
"Yes!"
I'm a little scared of Osada-san's intimidating presence, so I end up speaking politely.
Seeing that, Osada-san gives a wry smile,
Osada: "No, I mean it, okay? If you don't win the beauty contest... well, to be blunt, if you're not useful, you'll lose your place here, you know?"
"Eek!"
Last week, and I mean no offense calling them the second clique, but I saw the second clique girls and below protesting to Osada-san several times, saying, "She's skipping out on culture festival prep!" and "She's getting special treatment!"
Osada: "Huh? I value Yukaricchi. So why don't you enter the beauty contest? Raise your name at the culture festival? Can you contribute more to the class's maid café turnout than Yukaricchi?"
With her intimidating glare, Osada-san silenced them and made it clear once again to the class not to talk about my situation.
And that changed how the class looked at me.
Yukari Tomonaga is one of the top clique girls. That became common knowledge, and in class, I settled into a position of a certain amount of respect—or distance.
It's easy if you call it easy, suffocating if you call it suffocating.
Even so, when things get really tough, sometimes a classmate buys me drinks, or I get something when someone tags along on an errand for Osada-san... it's so nice that I end up relying on them... No, I know that's not good...
So,
Even though I'm nervous, I speak up to Osada-san,
"Of course, this time, I'll do my best! I'll give it my all! I'll definitely contribute to the class! ...So..."
Osada-san prompts me to continue, like, "What?"
"If I contribute, it would be a great honor, but if I do, could I please go back to my old plain, corner-dwelling spot instead of the top clique?"
Someone who ran to buy the protein milk hands it to Osada-san, and she passes it to me,
Osada-san says with a smile, looking amused and maybe a bit sorry for me,
Osada: "You want to go back? But I wonder... is there even a place for you there?"
??
!!
The protein milk I was handed.
The one who gave it to Osada-san...
The one who handed it to her was...
The vending machine selling protein milk from the school store on the third floor of this building is the farthest one, next to the gym. For them to have bought it so quickly...
Four eyes staring at me, out of breath.
""...""
The people who ran to buy my protein milk... were my two best friends.
The two who always sat in the corner of class with me, talking about dramas and manga—my precious friends.
Those two are glaring at me, angry.
Come to think of it... I haven't even used LINE lately, and I'm isolated in the classroom...!
I finally get it! I hurry—
"I'm! Sorry!"
Best Friend: "Sorry!"
Best Friend: "Did we get the wrong flavor?!"
Their tone is polite, but I can feel it—like, "Don't get involved with us anymore!"
Osada-san is grinning,
Osada: "That's right? Yukaricchi's personal assistants are those two, so don't overwork them, okay? I'll ask you again—do you still want to go back?"
Me, me,
Osada: "Maybe there's no place for you to go back to anymore? It's okay, Yukaricchi, you've got us now."
Osada-san pats me on the shoulder, says just one thing, and walks away,
Osada: "We're all you've got left now. I always protect my own, no matter what. Do your best, okay?"
My escape route is gone.