Last night. I surrendered my body to Friede while suppressing the guilt of deceiving her and the aversion to the act itself.
In this story that had become so twisted from the novel I had read, that was probably the only way for me to survive safely until the end.
Friede was overjoyed, saying her love had finally come to fruition, but that was just an illusion, having fallen for my lies and acting.
I did not love her.
Looking at her face made me smile because she was cute, her chattering voice was like a canary’s song, and being by her side made me feel supported while also wanting to protect her, but…
That’s, you know. Like being fond of or cherishing a close younger sibling or junior? Something like that emotion. Right?
Love is an emotion far more intense than that. Even I, who had never been in love or dated, knew that much.
Love is an emotion where you’re blinded to everything but that person, and when apart, your mind is filled with longing and desire.
When together, your heart trembles madly making it hard to even breathe, such a passionate and extreme emotion.
So, the feeling I had for Friede was far from love. Far from love… that is… yes, affection. It should be called affection.
That’s what it was. Probably.
A first experience that was devoid of love, truly just calculation itself.
Therefore, even as I decided to allow Friede my body, I didn’t think it would be a pleasant experience.
I had heard somewhere before. That relationships without affection are just empty and bland.
…But, well, even if you mix bodies for calculated reasons, it’s not that there’s no pleasure. Far from it, it was very… that is… well…
…It was incredible.
At some point, I completely forgot about the calculated reasons and just clung to her begging for more, and eventually passed out.
When I woke up, it was morning.
* * *
“Uwaah…”
Opening my eyes to the morning sunlight, I found myself lying in Friede’s cloak, embracing her. I sat up, covering my face with my hands and groaned.
The image of myself from last night was vividly flashing through my mind like a revolving lantern, filling my head.
The disgraceful sight of me panting with my face covered in saliva, tongue sticking out, and tears flowing from the unendurable continuous stimulation.
It had been such a passionate night that my upper body, revealed as the cloak slipped off, was covered in reddish kiss marks and small teeth marks.
It was embarrassing enough to make my face burn. For me.
“Haaah…”
I let out a sigh that seemed about to go out.
Ah, shit.
I must have been crazy. Really, to go crazy like that. How could I make such sounds.
How could I, with such a vulgar and cheap appearance…
When I closed my eyes out of shame, the memories became even more vivid.
As the mental anguish grew more intense the more I thought about it, I shook my head left and right, trying to shake off the memories as I got up.
Swoosh.
The cold morning breeze lightly brushed over my exposed naked body. My lower body wasn’t much different from my upper body.
Legs mottled with all sorts of marks. The inside of my pelvis ached strangely, and my waist and thighs were somewhat sore.
At least seeing that there were no traces of sweat or fluid left, it seems Friede had wiped my body with a cloth or something before falling asleep while I was unconscious.
“Kuh…”
Biting my lip as memories of last night surfaced again in a moment of carelessness, I picked up the underwear and clothes that were spread out on the crude wooden frame.
While the top might be fine, the underwear and pants had become difficult to wear again, but thanks to drying well during the night, it seemed I could manage to wear them now.
There was a slightly fishy scent and a very strong lemon scent permeating them, and it felt more like they had been frozen rather than dried, but…
‘…Can’t be helped.’
Being a fugitive, how could I be picky about such things?
Since I didn’t have time to bring any other clothes, I was left with only two choices.
Either wear clothes contaminated with my own bodily fluids again, or become a perverted female knight exposing my lower half while wearing only the top, armor, and cloak.
Given only those two choices, wouldn’t anyone, not just me, naturally choose the former?
‘Bloody-faced’ Brunhilde or ‘Wanted’ Brunhilde at least sound decent.
If I got stuck with nicknames like ‘Exhibitionist’ Brunhilde or ‘All-Visible’ Brunhilde, I’d probably collapse and fall asleep losing all will to live from the extreme embarrassment.
I probably wouldn’t be able to close my eyes even after death if I got stuck with such nicknames.
* * *
After putting on underwear, then the quilted jacket over it, and finally strapping on the breastplate and pauldrons securely.
“…Friede. It’s time to wake up. It’s morning.”
I gently shook Friede, who was still sleeping soundly, to wake her up.
Unlike me who had nothing on but boots, Friede seemed to be wearing her underwear properly, having only removed her armor and outer clothes.
Well, I had fainted before she even took off her clothes.
Except for her top that got wet because of me, there was no need to take off her underwear to dry it. Probably.
“Mmm…”
Friede moaned as if sleep-talking and turned over.
In that moment, the cloak covering her body slipped to the side, fully revealing her pure white lower abdomen and the piece of cloth between her legs.
‘…Black.’
Friede’s underwear was black, both top and bottom.
Underwear made of black-dyed cloth with elaborate embroidery.
The fabric itself seemed more sparse than dense, appearing slightly translucent, in stark contrast to my plain white underwear without any decoration.
…Unexpectedly, she’s wearing quite a bold one.
They say you can’t judge a book by its cover.
Wearing this kind of underwear with a face that would suit teddy bear or bunny panties, it wasn’t that it didn’t suit her, but it made me feel a bit dizzy.
Well, anyway.
“Come on, come on. Let’s get up, Friede. We can’t keep hiding here. We need to move.”
As I urged the sleep-talking Friede and shook her lightly once more, she finally seemed to wake up, letting out a faint moan and opening her eyes.
“Mmm… Miss Hilde…”
The way she immediately snuggled up to me, kissed my cheek, and smiled broadly as soon as she woke up was, how should I put it, troublesome but… a little cute.
For some reason, feeling a sweet taste in my mouth even though nothing had touched it, I unconsciously licked my lips slightly with the tip of my tongue.
And then I startled and sat up.
What am I doing now? Licking my own lips as if longing and smiling, what on earth am I doing? It’s like I’m trying to seduce or something.
I must be crazy, really.
My face suddenly felt hot with embarrassment.
Really, get a grip, Hilde. Just because you’ve learned about a woman’s pleasure, you can’t let your mind become a woman’s too.
This isn’t the time for that in the first place.
“Phew.”
I let out a faint sigh while fanning my cheeks to cool them down. Resolving to bury yesterday’s disgraceful behavior deep in my memories.
* * *
Perhaps she felt embarrassed about last night now that she had regained her senses.
Friede, after washing away her sleepiness with melted snow water, blushed and fidgeted even more than usual whenever she spoke to me.
“Ehehe…”
And occasionally, she would turn her head away to avoid my gaze and let out a small laugh.
If she wasn’t the very person who had made me faint last night and an important character from the original story that I had tried so hard to avoid, I might have found that behavior quite cute.
“…Heheh.”
Ah, um… well… to be honest, even now it’s… cute, but, well, anyway.
Of course, this wasn’t the situation to be swayed by Friede’s cuteness and pat her head or anything.
“Haaah…”
So, I lowered my left hand that I had reflexively raised and let out a quiet sigh.
Putting cold snow in my mouth instead of water to bring my seemingly insane mind back to normal.
After cooling my head like that, it seemed like my reason was finally returning a bit. Along with worries about the future.
Now, what should I do from here on? Thinking about it anew, it was bleak.
It’s not that I didn’t know what to do. Rather, the opposite. I felt like I couldn’t grasp where to start because there were too many things to do.
Like a child who only picked up their vacation homework the day before school starts after ignoring it all along.
What should I do?
Where should I start?
I racked my brains over and over, going through the events of the novel I had read and the settings of the game that formed the background of the novel.
Although my memory had become a bit hazy since it had been nearly ten months since I read the original novel, I still roughly remembered the really important information.
The means chosen by the one who possessed the original Friet to become stronger.
The treasures and opportunities scattered around the world.
The events he would experience and how he solved them.
And even the personal details of new companions recruited to bolster his forces.
‘New companions… that’s impossible for now.’
For now, recruiting new companions had to be postponed.
The original Friet could gain three new party members. The possessor recruited two of them and ignored the remaining one.
Saying that even if recruited, she would only be useful at first, but later he would regret bringing in such a time bomb of a woman.
So we’d have to choose one of the other two or somehow bring in both… unfortunately, neither of them were beings we could recruit in our current state.
One belongs to the church, so it’s impossible for us as wanted fugitives to even approach her, and the other is a woman who needs to be recruited after we’ve gained sufficient strength.
It’s not that recruitment itself is impossible, but if we bring her into the party at a low level, we’d be wiped out and eaten alive by the enemies pursuing that companion.
It was said that we could barely attempt recruitment after surpassing the level where we could easily defeat trolls.
So it was still too early. For now.
‘As expected, we need to build up strength first.’
Making my deliberations seem futile, there was no other path to begin with. No matter what we do, we need to build up strength first to even attempt anything.
Of course, even that can only start after we flee even further.
We can’t leisurely go around clearing dungeons or subjugating monsters when pursuers might catch up at any time, can we?
No, we probably couldn’t even enter in the first place.
We wouldn’t be able to approach deep dungeons since they’re directly managed by each country, and even mid-level dungeons are mostly crowded with adventurers, so we’d be discovered immediately if we went.
Low-level dungeons wouldn’t be of any help even if we cleared them.
‘It’s really hopeless when I think about it…’
Being wanted fugitives. That was the problem.
Without somehow getting rid of that tag, whatever we try would inevitably be stopped midway.
But… hah, really. How do we get rid of this?
Boldly stand before the public with the holy sword and explain that everything was a misunderstanding and false accusation? Sure, that might remove the wanted fugitive tag.
And then Gunther, or Heid, who could now accurately determine my location at any time, would secretly target me.
In other words, it meant that to clear my name – though some of it isn’t exactly false accusations, anyway, to clear something similar to false accusations – I need to build up strength first.
So that even if my enemies set traps for me, I could break through them head-on.
That was the prerequisite for me to escape from being a wanted fugitive.
…Talk about a contradiction.
To escape from being a wanted fugitive, I needed to become stronger. And to become stronger, I needed to enter mid-level or higher dungeons and accumulate experience against strong enemies.
But to enter dungeons, I first need to escape from being a wanted fugitive, right?
Really, there was no answer. No answer at all.
Of course, there were a few opportunities mentioned in the novel that didn’t involve dungeons…
But those are impossible for now too. Most of them are either exclusive to ‘heroes’ or can only be obtained after reaching a minimum level of strength.
Ah. There is just one thing that might be worth getting…
But to get that, we’d have to leave Hervor and return to the Kingdom of Rhine first.
…I wonder if that would be okay.
Honestly, it feels like we’d be caught and thrown into an underground prison as soon as we arrive.
If we explain well, Friede might be forgiven since she’s the hero with the holy sword, but I don’t think they’d acquit me as well.
Why, you ask?
In the culture of this world close to medieval times, damaging the face of someone in high position is already a capital offense in itself.
Brunhilde is a great criminal who abandoned the hero’s party and the country, fleeing and bringing international shame to the king and nobles. It didn’t seem likely they would willingly pardon such a criminal.
Even if there were reasons that anyone could see as justifiable for those actions.
It’s irrational and absurd… but what can we do? That’s how the class system works.
If you don’t like it, you can only leave this world.