No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!? – 85
EP.85 Boundaries and Barriers (3)
Now that I think about it, I’m the one who got dragged into this mess—so why am I the one putting so much effort into choosing a swimsuit?
I glanced over at Ria, wondering if I was just getting swept up in her pace. But no, she was just as intensely focused, scanning through the racks with burning determination.
…Wait a second. She was the one who started this whole thing, wasn’t she? Sure, I had refused her offer to call it a draw, forcing her to show me the swimsuit, but still.
"……."
In my past life, I learned that the way you perceive someone’s clothing depends a lot on your relationship with them.
For example, seeing someone wear a bikini at the beach isn’t usually a big deal. Unless they’re wearing something truly eye-catching, it’s rare for it to leave a strong impression. Not just swimsuits—this applies to other outfits, too.
But if it's someone you know wearing that outfit? That changes everything. Especially if that person is pretty and usually dresses in a way that leaves little to no skin exposed.
Logically speaking, I’ve always known that Ria is beautiful. She’s the heroine, after all. I’ve seen her up close. I also knew she had a great figure—her curves were obvious even under the loose fabric of a nun’s habit.
But when I actually saw her in that black bikini… the feeling was different. Very, very different. Come to think of it, bikinis expose more skin than most lingerie. Underwear, at least, has extra fabric to provide proper support. But a bikini? A bikini is just… a bikini.
In Ria’s case, the space between her breasts was fully exposed. The swimsuit itself wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but since it was, well, a bikini, it caused a disaster.
"……."
Wait.
I stopped flipping through swimsuits and fell into thought. Setting aside how flustered Ria had been after putting it on, before that, she’d confidently told me that it was normal to wear different swimsuits depending on the location.
I’ve never been to a beach or pool in this life, but Ria is different. Before joining the convent, she lived freely.
Of course, a novel doesn’t detail every single day of a character’s past. Beyond the crucial story about her mother and the fact that all her romantic experiences with the protagonist were firsts, the specifics were left out—because they weren’t necessary.
But while things like romance, kisses, and experience might have been untouched, it’s entirely possible that she’s worn a bikini in public before, right? Even if she felt shy about it as a kid, most people grow more comfortable with it in high school.
"Hey, Ria."
I resumed browsing as I called out to her.
"Hm?"
Still laser-focused on choosing a swimsuit, she only half-heartedly responded.
I tried to keep my voice as casual as possible.
"So… does that mean you’ve been to the beach before?"
"…Huh?"
Ria finally looked up at me.
"Oh, uh, yeah. I have."
She answered slowly, as if she were trying to figure out where I was going with this.
"I see," I said, lowering my gaze back to the swimsuits.
"Then… have you worn a bikini before? You know, like you told me?"
"……."
Ria fell silent for a moment before answering.
"O-of course I have."
I wasn't even looking at her directly, yet my eyes narrowed slightly. Even I wasn't sure why.
Something about this… didn’t sit right with me.
I knew I wasn’t in any position to be jealous. Feeling that way over something like this between friends would be strange, anyway.
Ria would probably dislike it if she noticed. She’d find it uncomfortable.
"…Why?"
"It’s nothing. I was just thinking that there really is a whole different world out there."
Even if I felt weird about it, I couldn't let it show in front of Ria.
She hadn't done anything wrong, after all. If anything, she was the one dragging me out of the convent to show me new things. And yet, for some reason, the thought of other people seeing Ria in a swimsuit before I did just didn’t sit well with me.
No, even if this was jealousy—it was kind of ridiculous, wasn’t it? It was just a swimsuit. It wasn’t like she had dated someone or shared a story about her first love. She had simply worn a swimsuit and gone swimming. Even by the time I finally picked one out, I still hadn’t figured out what to make of these feelings.
*
Chae-eun had actually never worn a bikini at the beach before.
Even though her job often required her to be outdoors, she had always been reluctant to let her skin tan, so she usually opted for rash guards when choosing swimwear. The bottoms weren’t much different from a bikini, but the top was a form-fitting long-sleeved shirt.
And even then, she only wore it at swimming pools. At the beach—just as Anna had said—she never even bothered changing into a swimsuit. She just ran straight into the water with her friends.
Maybe it would have been different in elementary school, but by the time she got to middle and high school, she was attending a rather prestigious all-girls’ academy. She never had any male friends, so there was never any reason to wear a swimsuit just to show off her figure. Besides, most of her friends were either training to become hunters or were daughters of heroes. None of them were the type to flaunt their bodies, either.
So why had she insisted on wearing a swimsuit in front of Anna?
…There wasn’t really a reason.
She just wanted to.
That was all.
If she had to justify it, maybe it was because the more time she spent with Anna, the more she realized how tightly guarded she was.
For someone who was still a nun, Anna took surprisingly good care of her appearance. She dyed her hair, tailored her habit to fit her figure, and wore a belt under her chest that was almost provocative. Even women who dressed boldly didn’t usually wear belts like that.
And yet, that was where Anna’s "self-styling" stopped.
She never crossed the final line of what could be considered appropriate for a nun. She minimized physical contact whenever possible, and despite living in the same place, she always made sure to keep her changing habits private.
If Ria was changing, Anna would deliberately look away. No matter what else could be said about her, Anna was still a nun. And for some reason, Ria didn’t like that. She knew Anna was the reason she had gotten as far as she had in the selection for the next Saintess. She knew she had even declared herself Anna’s knight. But none of that changed the fact that right now—Chae-eun didn’t like it.
Without saying anything, Chae-eun stole a glance at Anna as she picked out a swimsuit.
She was slowly browsing through the store, her expression somber. Ever since she had asked Chae-eun if she had ever been to the beach—and then, whether she had ever worn a bikini—Anna had been in this oddly downcast state.
Had Chae-eun said something wrong?
Maybe, as a nun, Anna thought she had crossed some kind of line.
The thought was frustrating. But at the same time, it made Chae-eun feel a little sorry for her. It was as if some part of Anna, a part that had allowed for such thoughts, had been completely suppressed.
"……."
It wasn’t like there had been any other choice at the time, but Chae-eun had once stolen a kiss from Anna. That moment was still clear in her memory. It had been her first, too.
Of course, calling it a kiss was a bit of a stretch—it had been more like CPR. But even so, if Anna ever learned about it, she would probably consider even that a sin.
If she ever found out… would she resent Chae-eun for it?
The thought was a little scary.
—
"Ria."
Still lost in thought, Chae-eun was idly sorting through swimsuits when Anna called out to her.
"Hm?"
"Let’s go with this one. For you."
"……."
Chae-eun blinked at her.
"Uh, wait. You mean that one?"
"Yes. It’s red. I think it would suit you."
"…You’re serious?"
Chae-eun looked at her with a serious expression, but Anna only grinned back.
The somber look she had worn just moments ago had completely disappeared. In its place was a look of pure competitiveness—almost like a challenge.
Chae-eun glanced up at the ceiling for a moment.
‘…What the hell was I even worried about?’
With that thought, she squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds, steadied herself, and then spoke.
"Alright."
A grin, just as full of competitive energy as Anna’s, spread across Chae-eun’s lips as she looked back at her.
"But in that case, you’re wearing my choice, too. Got it?"
"Of course."
Anna practically glared at her.
"We’ll each wear the one the other chooses. No backing out."
"You better not regret saying that."
Their eyes clashed in midair, like the collision of two unswayable wills. Watching from a little distance away, the store owner swore she could see the sparks flying.
And then, a new thought crept into her mind—
…Are nuns even allowed to wear swimsuits like that?
Even as the person selling them, the store owner found herself seriously pondering the question.