Chapter 79: Soul Anchor, Borrowed Dream
“Why are you suddenly asking this?”
Rast stopped in his tracks.
The sky had shifted from crimson to a dim deep blue, as night quietly descended.
“Because it’s indeed suspicious.”
Shiltina crossed her arms.
“I originally thought—”
“That the reason you chose to enroll in Starfall University and become a Night Traveler was mainly to find a foothold for yourself.”
“After all, you’re all alone in this world, you need money, a place to live, and a certain level of social status to survive better in this reality.”
“That’s the most reasonable explanation, and it was also the conclusion Emis gave after conducting a psychological analysis on you.”
“But if that were the case—”
“Then you wouldn’t have chosen to enter the Nightworld Remnant with me back then.”
“Clearing the Nightworld Remnant isn’t an obligation for a freshman, and the risks it brings far outweigh the benefits.”
She let her meaningful gaze fall on Rast.
Back in Deep Blue Port, Shiltina had already deeply sensed Rast’s capacity for action.
There were no unnecessary movements—
Every word and action existed solely for the purpose of clearing Deep Blue Port, ending the loop, that single goal, pursued at any cost.
Like a machine, driven by a scorching furnace core, following the optimal path toward that pre-set objective, leaving not even a sliver of unnecessary waste behind.
That was why Shiltina felt a sense of dissonance in Rast.
Because if it was merely to “live better in the real world,” he had no reason to enter the Nightworld Remnant, let alone throw himself into such a dire, near-death state.
As for the idea that Rast did it all for her…
That embarrassing guess had barely surfaced before Shiltina instinctively dismissed it.
She didn’t think she had that much charm.
Besides—
Shiltina faintly had a feeling.
Rast might appear well-mannered on the surface, able to get along pleasantly with everyone.
But deep down, he was like a piece of steel tempered thousands of times—unyielding and cold.
In a certain sense, he might even be more unfeeling than her father, the emperor hailed as the perfect monarch.
The latter understood human nature, yet for the sake of royal duty, had to act indifferent many times.
But the former—though he seemed to grasp human nature and could get along well with her and Dean Silver, even acting the part of a 100% approval-rate confidant gigolo…
In truth, within that broken shell of his, in that burning furnace core, there was not the slightest impurity left called humanity.
Shiltina had sensed this anomaly from very early on through some inexplicable intuition.
But given the nature of their relationship at the time, if Rast didn’t speak of it, then she wouldn’t ask.
But now.
After this boy before her had reignited her hope for this world—
Her heart couldn’t help but grow curious about the person named Rast.
Shrouded in night, the empty street fell into brief silence.
The silhouettes of the two stood under the dusky sky, like sculpted statues.
“Forget it, it’s fine.”
“Prying into others’ secrets isn’t exactly in line with noble etiquette anyway.”
Just as Shiltina was about to say the prepared lines, she heard the boy before her let out a soft chuckle.
“Actually, it’s not something particularly glorious.”
Rast smiled slightly, gazing up at the thin veil of night.
“When we’re little, we all have dreams, right?”
“For example, because we saw the story of a hero fighting a dragon in a picture book, we longed to become a hero; because we heard tales of scientists pushing civilization forward, we dreamed of becoming scientists.”
“Some wanted to be painters, astronauts, inventors, to build castles floating in the sky… and so on.”
“But in the end, those dreams were born from witnessing others’ brilliance as children.”
“Or rather, they were borrowed dreams.”
“You were like that too, Shiltina. That woman named Cecilia left you the ranger’s obsession.”
“And I’m the same. That’s why I said we’re similar.”
He paused briefly.
“When I was very young, someone rescued me from the burning ruins of Canaan.”
“To this day, I still remember that scene… crumbling rubble with red flames and black smoke on either side, and that woman, after pulling me out, showing a smile of genuine relief.”
“Because that smile was so beautiful, I couldn’t help but admire and yearn for it.”
And it became, no matter how many years passed, a curse forever branded deep in my memory, never forgotten.
From afar, the sound of joy rose from the direction of the grand hall—the evening ball of the celebration had begun.
Lights of every color lit up at once, fireworks rose into the sky, reflecting off the night above.
In the next instant, the airborne fireworks burst into dazzling displays, etched into the dim night sky.
The grand hall stood tall on the earth, its towering spire piercing the black clouds.
“Of course, everyone had such dreams as children. It’s nothing special.”
“Normally, as one grows older, as the heart changes, these unrealistic childhood dreams would gradually be forgotten…”
“Like kids who wanted to be doctors or teachers growing up to dream of being rich instead.”
“If I had grown up like a normal person, lived a complete life… that childhood yearning would’ve faded too, becoming a mere dinner-table story.”
“But, you already know what happened.”
“My life was forever frozen on the same day in Deep Blue Port, never able to move forward again.”
Rast smiled again, looking toward the direction of the lively noise.
That brightly lit grand hall reflected in his eyes like a towering spire.
“Memories fade over time, and the soul erodes like weathered stone… even the concept of self becomes vague in the eternal loop.”
“To avoid losing my sense of self, I clung to that yearning from my memory like a drowning man to a straw.”
“I treated it as my soul’s ‘anchor’—”
“As long as I haven’t forgotten that yearning, that means the self called Rast hasn’t died in Deep Blue Port, leaving only an empty shell.”
Rast shifted his gaze away from the brightly lit tower.
His pitch-black eyes were once again veiled by the night, hard to discern.
“Memories are worn down, time polishes them.”
“Even now, I’m not sure if the yearning and wish in my heart are still the same as at the start, or if they’ve already been twisted beyond recognition.”
“But true or not… it’s become an obsession deep in my soul, a mark I can never erase.”
“And also, the proof that I’m still alive.”
“It’s precisely to realize that wish that I was able to walk out of Deep Blue Port and enter Starfall University.”
“And ultimately, meet you.” Rast’s words were carried away by the evening breeze.
Shiltina turned her body slightly, gazing at the boy beside her.
His expression remained calm and solemn, as if nothing could stir his heart, yet his voice carried a strange gentleness tinged with subtle melancholy.
It reminded Shiltina of the first time they met in Deep Blue Port, of how she felt when seeing Rast’s sleeping face.
Not only was he nothing like the enigmatic figure she was used to—he even seemed a little fragile.