Translator: Elisia
Editor/Proofreader: Wojo
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The hallway was not as quiet as I had thought.
Of course, there were no students.
During class time, there was no reason for staff to be walking around either, so I didn’t run into anyone in the hallway.
But that didn’t mean this school was quiet during class hours.
At the top of the school’s food chain were always its students.
The students who paid to attend.
And even among those students, their status changed depending on how much money they had.
… And even those positions determined by money could change based on the money that came in from outside the school.
Money.
Everything was because of money.
It wasn’t just school life; my entire life had been ruined because of money.
Money is often depicted as heavy bundles of cash, but those who truly have a lot of money don’t need to see it physically.
To them, money exists in the form of numbers on a bank account, stocks, or real estate.
With a single flick of their finger, billions of won could change hands, a company’s fate could hang in the balance, and someone’s life could be ruined.
I really don’t like the concept of ‘money,’ which has lost its clear substance.
If only it weren’t for money…
Though, if it weren’t for money, I wouldn’t have met my mother either.
“……”
It didn’t take long to reach the teacher’s office.
Or maybe it just felt that way.
I stood in front of the door, took a deep breath, and then exhaled deeply.
The pounding in my chest wasn’t easy to calm.
Knowing that my mother was beyond this door, I felt both fear and longing.
Excitement, yet also resentment.
Well, they say people can’t distinguish between emotions that make their heart race.
The heart simply beats mechanically, and it’s up to us to layer emotions on top of that—I think I heard that somewhere.
Maybe that’s why I feel so many different emotions whenever I see my mother.
“……”
I wanted to call out to that person.
I wanted to seek help from the person hidden deep in my heart.
If that person had a different body from mine, maybe they would’ve brought me here.
No, if they had a different body, I probably wouldn’t have even thought of them as my other half.
When thoughts like these keep swirling, it shows how fickle human emotions are.
“Hoo.”
For the last time, really for the last time, I exhaled once more and placed my hand on the teacher’s office door handle.
*Click.*
With a little force, the handle turned with a heavy sound.
The door opened smoothly.
Since it was the teacher’s office, my mother’s face wasn’t immediately visible.
There wasn’t a single teacher in the large office.
There should have been someone not in class.
Perhaps my mother had offered them something they couldn’t refuse.
No, she definitely did.
Knowing how things work in this school, money is the best solution.
I scanned the eerie atmosphere of the office, which reminded me of an empty workplace where everyone had vanished in an instant.
But there was no one.
“……”
Then, I noticed a closed door at the far end of the office.
It had a sign that read ‘Teacher’s Lounge.’
That was the only place left to go further inside from the office.
I felt completely drained from all the tension I had before opening the door.
Since I had let go of my tension once, it wasn’t easy to regain it.
… Well, there’s no need to be tense.
It’s better not to be tense, actually.
Being more relaxed might make it easier to say what I need to my mother.
I walked toward the teacher’s lounge,
And this time, I opened the door without hesitation.
*
There was the scent of some unknown flowers.
Probably because she had sprayed perfume.
My mother always did that when we met.
“Sara.”
My mother was sitting in a chair facing the door.
As soon as I opened the door, our eyes met, suggesting she had been waiting for me, staring at the door.
My heart raced.
But it didn’t beat so fast that I might faint.
“Mother.”
At my response, my mother’s face stiffened slightly.
Was it because I didn’t run to her and hug her as I usually would?
Even I was surprised by my reaction.
Until just yesterday, I had been avoiding her, afraid I would lose control if I saw her.
… Ah, I see.
Until last year, I knew only ‘my mother.’
At first, I was forced to, and as time passed, I began to distance myself from others on my own.
As a result, my mother was the only one I could have a personal conversation with.
She was the only person who made my life feel like it had any meaning.
… But not anymore.
There are already many people around me who care about me.
People who see me for who I am, not just as an object, or because of my background or money.
Even if that wasn’t the reason they first approached me, they ultimately accepted me as a friend, as someone important.
So, my life already had meaning.
Even without my mother.
Even without the person who ruined my life.
Perhaps that’s why I was able to suppress the emotions making my heart race.
Without saying another word, I walked over and sat across from my mother.
Her deep blue eyes gazed at me intently, as if judging me.
“It’s been a while.”
Like greeting an old friend, that’s how she said it.
… It’s always ‘been a while,’ hasn’t it?
The mother I could only see four times a year, for less than thirty minutes each time, was always someone I hadn’t seen in a while.
But I didn’t bother to say that.
“Yes, it has.”
“……”
My mother stared at me for a while, then slowly moved her hand.
She pushed one of the teacups in front of her toward me.
The cup was filled with black tea.
It seemed my mother had brewed it herself.
I accepted the cup.
When I saw her lift her cup and take a sip, I followed suit.
… The tea was a bit too strong, more bitter than what I usually drank.
“May I ask why you’ve come all the way to the school?”
“Well…”
My mother opened her mouth, then closed it again.
She furrowed her brow slightly.
“… My daughter disappeared from home, so as a mother, I had to come and find her.”
Perhaps even she felt strange saying that.
“You’ve never cared before.”
“That’s not true.”
This reply came immediately.
“Really? I didn’t know.”
“… Daughter, why are you acting like this all of a sudden?”
“All of a sudden…”
All of a sudden, huh.
Well, my mother had every reason to think that.
Until just recently, I would run to her every time I saw her, like a puppy finally seeing its owner again, rubbing my face against her.
No, maybe it wasn’t just like a puppy.
Maybe my mother had been treating me like that all along.
I carefully set the teacup back on the table.
“It’s not all of a sudden. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Whether you, my mother, really are my ‘mom.’”
“But—”
“You’ve never cared before.”
I emphasized it again.
My mother swallowed hard.
She seemed flustered.
It was probably the first time in her life I had rebelled against her like this.
When I was in elementary school, the only people who indulged my rebelliousness were the servants.
My mother had only started visiting me again once I had given up on everything.
“You can’t possibly know what I’m thinking or how I’ve changed, when we only see each other four times a year.”
My heart was pounding.
It was about to burst.
But oddly, my mind felt calm.
Although I had never been able to say these things to her before, once I started, the words wouldn’t stop.
“How could you know what I’m thinking or how I’ve changed? Of course you’d think I suddenly changed.”
What I thought in January would naturally be different from what I thought in April.
If she were truly my ‘mom,’ she would have noticed how I was slowly falling apart. But she wasn’t.
Fifteen minutes isn’t enough time for people to properly exchange feelings.
“… Daughter.”
“Do you really consider me your daughter?”
Finally, I was able to voice the question I had been agonizing over.
“Isn’t it just about money? Because of the background behind me…”
But as I spoke, I had to stop.
My mother’s face was strange as she looked at me.
I expected her to show her ‘true colors’ any moment now,
But instead, her expression was as if she were being painfully wounded by every word I said.
She didn’t even try to hide her tears.
“I’m sorry.”
“… What?”
“I’m really, truly sorry.”
She spoke those words as tears streamed down her face.
My heart kept pounding.
It hurt.
“What?”
My vision blurred.
Ah, this can’t be happening.
“Daughter, from now on, I’ll make it all up to you. I’m sorry.”
I saw my mother stand up.
No.
Not now.
I tried to get up—
But as soon as I started to rise, I collapsed back onto the sofa.
“Uh… Huh…?”
I had no strength in my arms.
No, it wasn’t just my arms.
My legs, my back, my stomach—
None of them had any strength.
I was short of breath.
“What… What is going on…?”
“It’s okay. Everything will be fine now. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Before I knew it, my mother was sitting next to me on the sofa where I had collapsed.
Through my dulled senses, I faintly felt her hand.
Her lap appeared beneath the side of my face.
At some point, I had laid my head on her lap, lying sideways.
I couldn’t resist.
No, this wasn’t because of my emotions.
It was something more direct…
…
Ah.
The tea I drank earlier.
The one that tasted more bitter than usual…
“It’s okay. I’ll make it all up to you. I never cared about money in the first place.”
That was the last thing I heard.