I’m telling you from personal experience, having your memories and emotions intertwined with someone else is never a pleasant experience.
Maybe it would be different if the other person had good memories and emotions, but the ones I had to endure were definitely not from someone who lived a happy life.
Ye Sara’s thoughts, who had lived a life of oppression, confinement, and isolation since childhood, were surprisingly simple.
Loneliness, happiness, and hatred.
Three emotions.
Two of those emotions stemmed from just one person.
The person who locked Ye Sara in this desolate mansion, visiting only on specific dates as if bestowing charity, offering love like an alms—her “mother”.
…Choi Na-kyung.
The memories were the same.
The more I tried to understand them, the more I realized how foolish that was—it was all so simple.
The mansion and the school.
These were the only places in Ye Sara’s memories.
Sometimes she strolled in the garden inside the mansion.
Sometimes she would sneak out during class and sit in the park, and occasionally, Team Leader Han Garam would talk to her.
But that was it.
Ye Sara had already closed her heart as a child.
Her only concern was Choi Na-kyung, and she knew nothing else.
She didn’t even care to know.
What Ye Sara wanted from the start wasn’t something money could buy.
…I had wondered why Ye Sara did such things in the original story.
Now, I see that the reason was simple.
Truly, she had nothing left in her hands.
While I still don’t fully understand Choi Na-kyung’s true intentions, Ye Sara ultimately believed Choi Na-kyung was just another adult after her money.
That’s why, through Ye Sara’s eyes, Choi Na-kyung’s face held no light.
If Ye Sara had truly known “nothing”, she might not have ended up so broken.
…But.
This world was subtly different from the world I came from.
I’m not just talking about how the scenery of Seoul here differed from the Seoul I knew, or how the laws and company names were different.
The people of this world each have some sort of ability.
Most of these abilities were just barely useful in daily life, but sometimes, they could be extremely helpful for surviving in this world.
For example, Yoo Ha-neul, the protagonist of the game, had an instinctive ability to recognize bad choices.
It was a game mechanic meant to prevent a game over, but if someone could use that ability in real life, they would live a life far more successful than others.
And then… there was Ye Sara’s ability.
The ability to see light radiating from certain people’s faces—an ability that was almost more of a superpower than just intuition.
Now that I’ve become fused with Ye Sara’s memories, I think I understand it a little better.
This ability was a kind of instinct.
The ability to find “the person who will change your life”.
The reason why the faces of Ha-neul, Soo-ah, and So-hee radiated wasn’t just because I knew their futures.
It was because those three treated Ye Sara in a way completely different from everyone else who had approached her so far.
Soo-ah had spoken to Ye Sara when no one else did.
Ha-neul, despite Ye Sara not listening to her, kept calling her until she spoke.
So-hee didn’t care at all about the fact that Ye Sara was different from her.
That’s right, the people whose faces shone weren’t special just because they were special people.
In fact, even the faces of ordinary people could have shone like that.
Ye Sara simply had never met anyone ordinary.
…And Ye Sara, who didn’t know how to form relationships with people—
Perhaps, she thought to catch that signal in a “different way”.
By breaking everything that interacted with her,
Running away to some distant place,
Leaving behind all joy and happiness,
Loneliness, and sadness.
Casting off all the complexities of life, she wanted a new start.
From the deepest part of Ye Sara’s heart, that’s what I thought.
*
How long had I been unconscious?
When I opened my eyes, the ceiling I saw was the same one I saw every morning.
The light on the ceiling was shining brightly.
“…”
I felt like I had a dream.
I was sure I had swallowed a handful of sleeping pills.
If they weren’t fake, I shouldn’t have been able to wake up now.
I should have kept my eyes closed forever.
…Moreover, the school uniform I was wearing now was one I had never worn before.
Perhaps it was the uniform I should have worn when I entered high school.
Right, I wasn’t supposed to go to high school.
I was supposed to die.
According to the plan, that was how it was supposed to go.
“Sara!”
“Ugh.”
I flinched as someone suddenly yelled next to me.
The only people allowed in this room should have been the maids—
As I turned my head toward the sound, thinking this, I saw a maid standing there.
Yellow-dyed hair.
Tanned skin from the sun.
Tall.
She had a somewhat imposing presence.
But the outfit she wore was definitely a maid’s uniform.
Strangely, the third button on her shirt was undone, revealing a distinctly feminine part of her body.
Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that it was a maid’s uniform I had seen many times before, I would have thought it was some sort of costume.
She clung to my right hand with both her hands, tears welling in her eyes.
Maybe it was because she had such a pretty face, but the tears suited her in a strangely fitting way.
…But I didn’t… know… this person…?
No, somewhere deep in my memory, I felt like I knew her.
But it wasn’t “my” memory.
How should I put it?
Sometimes, in dreams, you become someone else and experience things.
When you wake up, most of the memories fade, but the feelings of “it was fun” or “it was interesting” remain.
It was the same vague impression I got from someone I had met in a dream.
…Though, I haven’t really had dreams since I was in middle school.
Yet somehow, I remembered this faintly.
“Sara, are you okay?”
This time, a voice came from my left.
When I turned my head, there sat another girl.
Her pigtails gave off the impression of an energetic child, but her expression looked like she was about to burst into tears at any moment, making her seem far more fragile and pitiful.
At least she wasn’t wearing a maid’s uniform.
I didn’t know why she was in this house, though.
That’s what I thought, my head still hazy.
Only then did I realize that my room wasn’t the same as the one I knew.
A second bed had appeared in the room, which used to be empty and spacious.
Next to that bed was a coat rack for hanging clothes, and below that, several bags were neatly lined up.
“…”
I couldn’t figure out why.
When had this happened?
Who were these girls, and why were they so casually inside my room?
“…”
Then, I made eye contact with a girl.
Unlike the two who were holding my hands, this girl was standing a bit further away, watching me.
As soon as we made eye contact, she flinched.
I hadn’t even said anything.
Her neatly tied dark brown hair, her healthy-looking skin, and her properly developed physique contrasted with my thin, pale appearance.
She looked as if she led an active, healthy life—completely different from me, who barely saw the sun.
But even though she seemed to be the lively type, she looked at me with eyes filled with fear.
“…”
For a while, silence filled the room.
Should I say something?
I had never actively started a conversation with anyone before.
I had thought about it many times, but I had never believed that anyone would respond if I tried to talk.
I didn’t trust people.
I had no reason to trust them.
Yet, the “me” from a past I couldn’t remember had somehow spoken to these three girls.
Kindly enough to invite them into my room.
…Yes, these girls were there when I met with “Mother”.
They followed behind me to witness that meeting.
Were we that close?
“…”
I hesitated for a moment.
Would it be the right choice to ask them various questions?
Would it be the right choice to get a clear understanding of the situation?
Yes, my rational mind nodded and told me that was the right choice.
In situations where I didn’t know much, I needed to make proper judgments.
That would help me when navigating future events.
But my “emotions” shook their head.
Why? asked my rationality.
I don’t know.
My emotions replied like that.
But somehow, it just feels like I should.
“…”
I hesitated again.
Yes, these girls… at least, it seemed like they were genuinely worried about me.
Though I couldn’t be sure.
It could all be an act.
Mother, too, had acted out of greed for my money.
Even her declarations of love had been lies.
So, I concluded that the tears of these girls must be fake too.
My rationality told me to think that way.
After all, I had never been in a situation like this.
No one had ever cried for me out of genuine concern, nor had anyone stood by me out of fear for my well-being.
But, I don’t want to think that way.
My emotions shook their head again, saying no.
So… that’s it.
Someone was shedding tears for me, worrying about me, so much so that they couldn’t even speak.
…This was the first time I had ever experienced a situation like this.
At least, as far as I could remember.
That’s why my emotions were clinging to me like this.
I had never experienced this before.
So, could I indulge in this moment, just a little longer?
Even my rationality began to acknowledge that my emotions had a point.
Nodding along, it reminded me of that note I had written.
That note.
Yes.
—I wanted to spend a week like everyone else.
I remembered writing something like that.
It was my last memory.
“…Yeah, I’m okay.”
I opened my mouth for the first time in a long while, my voice hoarse as I answered.
I couldn’t bring myself to smile.
I had rarely smiled in front of anyone other than Mother.
Even if I forced it, it wouldn’t look pretty.
But despite the fact that I didn’t smile, the two children sitting next to me smiled brightly at me.
They smiled.
For me.
…And they cried.
For me.
Right beside me, not somewhere far away.
I didn’t know these two well, but for some reason, I liked it.
Why?
I had never seen anything like this.
Not even Mother had shown me an expression like that.
What had happened in the past three months?
A small wisp of memory began to rise in the corner of my mind.
But even though I knew something had happened, I couldn’t be certain.
All I could do was consider the possibilities.
It felt like something was tickling a deep part of my chest, like a finger gently brushing against a hidden corner.
Could it be?
Really, could it be?
Had what I longed for so much finally happened over the past three months?
…Yes, just a little more.
Until they revealed their true selves.
Until then, I’d play along.
Sometimes, it’s not so bad to be deceived.
Just like when I met Mother.
I can save the tears for later.