It was already four in the afternoon when Lin Nan returned to the dormitory.
He hadn't eaten lunch yet—the food at the scenic area was too expensive for him, so he bought a cup of instant noodles when passing by the campus convenience store.
Opening the dorm door with his key, he looked inside. The dorm was noticeably cleaner and more organized than before, with everyone's desks tidied up neatly. At first glance, it looked as if no one lived there.
Lin Nan walked in expressionlessly and sat down at his computer.
While outside, he had felt embarrassed and desperately wanted to return to the dorm, but now that he was actually back, he realized it was even worse than being out.
Not lively at all.
Though not particularly extroverted, Lin Nan, like most people, enjoyed an appropriately lively atmosphere. When his dormmates were around, with their roughhousing, gaming together, mutual teasing, and bringing up each other's embarrassing moments—even though sometimes the jokes went too far and made him angry—overall, it mostly brought him joy.
Living alone made Lin Nan feel very insecure. Whether at night or during the day, he would nervously assume that footsteps in the corridor outside belonged to thieves. When the lights were off, he would feel there were frightening ghosts in the darkness. At night, the dorm's kitten was also restless, often scratching at the wardrobe and pawing at the floor, which had startled Lin Nan awake several times.
Sitting in his chair, casually scrolling through Douyin, within minutes he came across news about a home invasion. (TN: China’s tiktok.)
Lin Nan immediately became more paranoid, rushing to double-lock the dorm's main door without hesitation.
He was acting neurotic, checking all the corners of the dorm before finally managing to feel somewhat at ease.
Fundamentally, he had always lacked a sense of security. His parents weren't around when he was young—he was raised by his grandfather. After being brought to the county town for elementary school, he had basically lived alone ever since. Whether from watching too many horror movies as a child or something else, even though he knew rationally that ghosts didn't exist, he still felt scared in the darkness.
But now that magic existed, maybe ghosts weren't impossible either?
Just as he had settled down to turn on his computer, this thought made Lin Nan uneasy again. Suddenly, footsteps sounded outside the door, making him nervously whip his head around to stare at it.
The footsteps quickly disappeared, and the tensely wound-up Lin Nan finally relaxed.
Then someone knocked on the door.
Lin Nan, who had just relaxed, instantly bristled.
"Lin Nan, open up, let's duo queue!" Dong An's voice came from outside. "Heard you didn't go to work, so I came to play with you."
"What are you doing here?!" After hearing a familiar voice, Lin Nan went to open the door.
"Why are you locking the door in broad daylight?" Dong An, carrying a laptop, walked right in without waiting for Lin Nan's permission, plopping down in Chen Yao's spot and starting to connect to the network and power.
Lin Nan watched in confusion, completely unsure what this guy was planning.
"Chen Yao told me at noon that you weren't going to work, so he asked me to come keep you company and play duo queue," Dong An stretched, clearly somewhat unwilling. He complained, "Are you and Chen Yao gay or something? Why does he take care of you like you're his girlfriend? Is it necessary?"
Chen Yao and Lin Nan had known each other for many years, practically childhood friends, so he naturally knew about Lin Nan's lack of security. Plus, after learning about the physical examination last night, even though he wasn't here, he wanted to look after Lin Nan as much as possible.
Lin Nan hadn't noticed his care, thinking Chen Yao might just be worried he was too idle and deliberately found someone to argue with him.
"So what are you planning to do?" Lin Nan crossed his arms. With another person in the room, he immediately lost his previous vigilance and paranoia, casually leaning against the bunk bed post as he asked, "You just do whatever Chen Yao says? You're a senior, have some dignity, can't you?"
"I'm bored to death anyway."
From his words, it seemed Dong An's roommates had all left too.
Lin Nan felt much more at ease now. He was alone, Dong An was alone, both were extremely bored—perfect to pair up!
Though a moment later he felt his phrasing might have been a bit off, Lin Nan didn't mind, returning to his seat and saying, "I'll jungle, you mid."
The duo queue started quickly. Lin Nan wanted to invite Chen Yao, but he seemed busy at the moment.
"You actually know how to jungle?"
"Shut up! I've beaten mlxg in solo queue before!" Since Dong An wasn't a close dormmate who lived with him day and night, and often teased him about being feminine, Lin Nan deliberately mustered up his former masculine spirit, peppering his speech with crude language and swear words, trying to emphasize his masculinity. (TN: Retired Pro League player who played jungle.)
He knew that wasn't really how masculinity was expressed, but for him, it was the easiest method.
"Go get him! Damn!"
"Use Flash! It's just a one-for-one trade, why are you being a coward? Are you even a man?!"
Speaking what he thought were manly words, Lin Nan believed his aura was particularly masculine at this moment.
But when Dong An glanced at him, he saw someone who was pouting just because of one failed gank attempt, looking like an offended little wife who was begging to be bullied.
Lin Nan's crude language didn't make Dong An think he was any more masculine; instead, it felt like watching a little miss desperately resisting but ultimately submitting.
"What are you laughing at?!" Lin Nan keenly noticed his smile and slapped his keyboard, still thinking it was about the game. "Didn't you waste Flash just now?! The minion wave was good, trading one-for-one got us experience! Are you stupid?!"
"Yes, yes," Dong An kept nodding. "My bad, my bad."
Seeing him back down for the first time both in real life and online, Lin Nan's nose almost pointed to the sky with pride.
Afterward, there weren't many ganking opportunities, and Lin Nan's champion could only add to already-winning situations. By this point, he had also become more relaxed in his play.
He continued cursing and swearing in an attempt to show his masculinity, wanting Dong An to treat him like a normal male rather than teasing or flirting with him.
But before long, Lin Nan suddenly froze during a team fight.
"Was I just acting like Lilith?" He suddenly realized something was wrong, spacing out as he compared his recent behavior with his memories of Lilith.
To his shock, he found that his behavior during the game was almost identical to Lilith commanding her army.
Not just the words and emotions, but even his inner thoughts weren't much different.
Not wanting to be seen as a purely useless woman...
"What the hell! Why are you spacing out during the Baron fight! We got wiped!"
Dong An's sudden shout brought Lin Nan back to his senses, but when he looked at the screen again, he saw the enemy team's five champions were already pushing the inhibitor towers, while the earliest any of his team could respawn was in thirty seconds.
Despite dominating the early game, one mistake had completely thrown away their position, leaving them without even the ability to resist. Game over.
Lin Nan was still dumbfounded while Dong An's leg shook with anger.