✦ Chapter 27 – Socrates (5) ✦
「Translator – Creator」
𒋝𒋝𒋝𒋝𒋝
“Caesar is clearly the greatest hero in Phantom’s plays! He almost single-handedly overthrew the Republic and became Emperor by sheer talent! Who else can compare to him?”
“Yeah, well, our Admiral Yi destroyed 133 ships with only 12! He was undefeated at sea! Stop overhyping that loser who got his butt kicked by Vercingetorix!”
“Nonsense! Can either of them part the sea with a staff? Combine both Caesar and Admiral Lee and they’d be done if Moses showed up and parted the sea! Everyone would be wiped out together!”
“Agh, damn it! You illiterates who can’t even grasp the play’s context! Talking to you is a waste of breath!”
“That’s it! Enough! From today, we declare war on those ignoramuses who know nothing about theatre!”
“Fire! Show those cockroaches what real taste is!”
Whoosh—!
Thud—! Thwack—! Splat—!
The sounds of battle filled the courtyard as tensions finally boiled over.
Fortunately, no actual physical violence was involved.
Instead, the three warring factions were locked in…
“…a dessert food fight?”
Cakes, pastries, and other treats, presumably purchased from one of the fancy bakeries near the academy—all covered with whipped cream, chocolate, almonds, and fruit jams—were flying through the air like projectiles.
The students had even built makeshift barricades out of chairs, desks, and other scavenged furniture.
Some of the attacks seemed to be specifically designed for maximum psychological damage—truly heinous acts of pastry-based warfare.
“Ugh, what the—?! Mint chocolate chip?! Which one of you threw toothpaste at me?!”
“Gah! Raisins?! You’ve crossed the line, you jerks!”
“Ew! Why would anyone put coconut cream in bread?! It tastes like dishwater!”
The air was thick with the sweet aroma of sugar and chaos as the Food War raged on.
I was dumbfounded.
“I don’t get it. Is it really worth fighting over?”
“It’s simple, really. They can’t accept the possibility that their favorite play might not be objectively the best. That someone else’s favorite might be… superior.”
“So what? They’re all Phantom’s plays!”
“Of course, it matters! What kind of fan would calmly accept someone trashing their favorite work? They’re just going about it the wrong way, trying to elevate their own favorites by tearing down others.”
“Honestly…”
The purpose of literary criticism was not to incite a mudslinging contest between fans.
‘Criticism is the lifeblood of creation,’ the renowned director Orson Welles, creator of the masterpiece Citizen Kane, once said.
By scrutinizing and evaluating a specific work from various angles, criticism paves the way for the emergence of superior creations someday.
Indeed, criticism has grown alongside the advent of art, akin to twins, since time immemorial.
Didn’t the philosophical evaluations based on Aristotle’s Poetics during the classic Greek era delve into the virtues and vices, the highs and lows, and the magnitudes of various aspects through critiques?
However, to misuse such a noble act merely for ranking works… tsk, tsk.
“It’s no surprise that academy students love stories about heroes,” Maurice said, shrugging and adding with an amused expression, “So, naturally, their disagreements have taken a rather… childish turn. The play with the ‘better’ hero is the ‘better’ play. Or something like that.”
A power struggle over the superiority of fictional heroes…
I guess that explained why <Chaplin’s Comedy> and <Dialogues> were excluded from the debate.
<Chaplin’s Comedy> was, after all, a lighthearted series, not an epic tale of heroism. And <Dialogues> was a Lesedrama focused on the life of a philosopher, not a battlefield.
“Right. Even though Princess and Rosalyn didn’t directly participate, I heard they played their part. The Princess supported Caesar, the lover of the graceful Queen Cleopatra, while Rosalyn backed Moses, who was nominated as a candidate for the Hero with the Pen by Phantom.”
As if recalling something, my mischief-making friend cheekily shrugged his shoulders.
With a sly smile, he looked at me and teasingly said,
“Wow, what are you gonna do now? If you side with one, you’re bound to receive looks of resentment and disappointment from the other. This is why you shouldn’t recklessly aim to be a charmer, you playboy.”
“Shut up.”
Maurice has always been quick to label someone a harem master. Both of them are women galaxies away from being anything of that sort in relation to me.
Either way, this fervent… no, rabid enthusiasm had to be addressed.
“Are you kidding me?! Caesar, the man who charmed even the Emperor and inspired a change in Imperial etiquette?! Compared to him, Lee is small fry! His impact on society is on a whole other level!”
“If we’re talking about influence, <Admiral Lee> helped the Wenford family return to politics, boosted the combat prowess of the Imperial Guard, and advanced naval tactics!”
“Yeah, and thanks to <Exodus>, Phantom is now a candidate for Hero of the Pen! So maybe those who haven’t even produced a Hero candidate should just shut up!”
In the realm of philosophy, there exists a conundrum known as the ‘Socrates Problem.’
In brief, it revolves around the question, ‘Who was Socrates, and what did he truly think?’
Despite being the foundational figure of Western philosophy—the teacher and inspiration for Plato himself—Socrates himself left no writings.
As a result, fierce debates have raged through history over what exactly constituted Socrates’ original ideas; even his own students, who’d lived alongside him, had offered wildly different interpretations of his teachings.
In many ways, this current uproar in the academy… wasn’t it just another variation of the Socratic problem?
The only difference was that the philosopher Socrates had been replaced with the acclaimed playwright Phantom and his works.
“What are you going to do? All you have to do is show up and give your verdict. It would solve everything.”
Maurice suggested I step in and act as a judge. I, however, immediately shot down the idea.
Nitpicking only gets worse when you take sides.
Very few people could accept defeat gracefully. Especially when their pride was on the line.
And the question of “Which play is better?” was entirely subjective. Even as the author, I had no right to dictate anyone’s preferences.
“…I’m a candidate for Hero of the Pen now, right? So naturally, I should use my pen to solve this.”
I said, stretching leisurely.
I had been racking my brain for ideas for the next work anyway, and since these consumers seemed to be obsessed with heroic tales… well, I’d give them another one. One that would hopefully put an end to this ridiculous feud.
I’d choose a hero that appealed to people of all ages and genders…,
…and I’d focus on action and romance—genres that everyone loved.
✧❅✦❅✧
“Is that all you have to say for yourself, Legion Commander?”
“I… I apologize, Your Excellency, but I implore you to listen. This is not a matter to be taken lightly…”
“Enough. Your excuses are worthless.”
The icy winds whipped across the desolate landscape, biting at exposed flesh. It was the northernmost edge of the continent, a desolate land where demonic forces were gathering.
A Legion Commander stood before his superior, facing accusations of incompetence.
The paladins of the Iron Wall Fortress, their morale inexplicably boosted after a performance of Phantom’s <Exodus>, had dealt the demonic legion a humiliating defeat, halting their southward advance.
The Legion Commander was being interrogated for his failure.
Towering over him, from atop a throne of blazing hellfire, was the Overlord—the demonic regent, ruling in the absence of the Demon King, who’d been sealed away long ago.
“When you mentioned a Hero Candidate, I assumed the Hero of the Sword had made a surprise visit to the northern fortress, Legion Commander,” the Overlord said, his gaze sharp and unsettling.
“Though still unripe, a Hero Candidate is still a Hero Candidate. Had it been that half-elf, I would have understood—her presence alone is enough to inspire and empower paladins.”
Hero Candidates were always a nuisance.
Though the Demon King had been vanquished, humanity had not forgotten the terror he’d inflicted upon the world. They continued to seek out and train individuals with exceptional potential, ensuring the legacy of heroes would live on.
And of all the current Hero Candidates, the one that concerned the demons most was the “Hero of the Sword”—a half-elf, rumored to possess an unparalleled talent for swordsmanship.
Of course, it was said her talent hadn’t fully bloomed yet, but still..
…Yet, the excuse that came from the Legion Commander’s mouth was nothing short of ludicrous.
“The Pen? The Hero of the Pen, you say?”
Unable to even lift his head, the Legion Commander stuttered and stammered.
“Are you mocking me, Legion Commander?” the Overlord roared.
— End of Chapter —
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