Chapter 81
My heart sank.
No, it felt as if it were being crushed and pounded by a heavy iron weight.
Lilac, could it be, had been harboring such thoughts for the past few weeks?!
And I, completely oblivious!
In my urgency, I raised my hands and grabbed both of Lilac’s shoulders.
“No, no, that’s not it at all. I absolutely didn’t mean it that way. Absolutely not! I just didn’t want you to worry, no, it’s not that I didn’t want….”
I was confused.
My mouth flapped uselessly like a goldfish’s.
How was I supposed to speak to Lilac, who stood before me with tears in her eyes, begging for forgiveness?
After pondering quietly, I finally said,
“…I was sad, too.”
“….”
“Seeing you sad made me sad, too.”
Lilac’s eyes widened slightly.
“It was never because you did something wrong or anything like that. Please don’t misunderstand. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad. I like that you worry about me. From now on, I won’t hide anything, so please know that I never had the slightest intention of doing anything to you….”
I resented my brain for only coming up with such feeble words.
But perhaps that was enough, as Lilac gazed up at me blankly.
I looked down at her just as blankly.
We stood there, motionless, staring up or down at each other, frozen in place.
One minute, two minutes, three minutes, five minutes, ten minutes.
An eternity in a fleeting moment, with no sense of how much time had passed.
“Shall we make a promise…?”
Lilac extended her pinky toward me.
“To not hide anything from each other.”
“…Alright.”
I raised my pinky and linked it with hers.
A strange, dreamy sensation washed over me, as if I were connected to Lilac, the first time I’d ever felt such a peculiar feeling.
“Hehe.”
Lilac finally smiled.
Her expression was refreshed, as if she’d cast off all her recent worries.
“I’ll never leave you, Master Martin. Not in ten years, not in a hundred years. Even in death, my soul will serve you. As long as you don’t cast me aside…”
“Don’t say things like that anymore.”
“Alright, Master. …From the very first moment I saw you as a child, until now, and forevermore, please take care of me.”
Lilac slowly stepped away from me.
A hollow feeling lingered, as if half of me had been torn away.
“The tea’s gone cold. I’ll bring it back at the temperature you like, Master.”
She left with the tea set.
The moment the door closed, I stood blankly for a full minute, staring at the door Lilac had exited through.
Then, I resolved,
“…I have to do it.”
Know-It-All (Lv 3) agrees that now is the perfect time.
Wild Instinct (Lv 3) says the heightened emotions are just right.
I hadn’t done it because I didn’t know how long it would take.
There was no need to look, either.
It held no meaning.
More importantly, there were far more pressing matters at hand.
To prepare for the apocalypse, focusing on one thing alone wasn’t enough.
No matter how precious Lilac was, if the world ended, everything would vanish, wouldn’t it?
“No more delays. I don’t want to put it off any longer.”
Know-It-All and Wild Instinct.
The two perk skills prepared for me, Kim An-hyun, who possessed Martin von Targon Ulvhadin.
These perk skills didn’t just grant highly efficient abilities.
They also held memories.
Martin von Targon Ulvhadin.
The past this body had experienced.
Memories even I, the character’s creator, didn’t know—memories supplemented as this world became independent—were accessible through Know-It-All and Wild Instinct.
‘To think I’d end up revisiting the memories of this body…’
Right after possessing this body, I’d thought I needed to learn about Martin to get along with those around me, especially the protagonist’s party.
But after facing them, I dismissed it as a waste of time and left it alone.
‘This time, it’s for Lilac.’
I intended to confront Martin’s memories.
Because I was curious about Lilac.
Because I wanted to see Lilac.
Because I wanted to know more about Lilac.
This was purely my selfish desire, utterly unrelated to the apocalypse.
***
That night, before going to bed, I gathered the household and asked them not to enter my room for a few days, as I had important work to do.
I tidied the room neatly, drew the curtains, and lay on the bed.
“I’m going to experience the memories of Martin von Targon Ulvhadin.”
The acquisition of two perk skills, Know-It-All and Wild Instinct, has been confirmed.
The combined level of the two skills is 6.
Memory experience may take a long time.
Would you like to begin?
“…Begin.”
At that moment, with a thud!, it felt as if my body was being pulled underground… like plummeting into the abyss.
I couldn’t react, and by the time I realized, my body wouldn’t move.
And then.
“…!”
When I opened my eyes, I was on a bed.
“Young Master, are you awake?”
Young Master.
A term I hadn’t heard in ages, not since leaving the Ulvhadin County.
I turned my head and saw a middle-aged butler waiting for me.
It wasn’t Lilac.
An awkward and wistful feeling arose.
“Yes.”
That wasn’t my voice.
“His Lordship requests you join him for breakfast.”
“Alright.”
The young Martin’s body leapt out of bed, hopped down, and headed to the bathroom alone.
‘So that’s how it is.’
I was Kim An-hyun.
Merely an observer within Martin’s body, seeing and hearing everything.
I had no means to intervene in the past.
‘Refreshing.’
I couldn’t feel even a trace of Martin’s emotional residue.
It felt like I existed purely as myself.
“Father.”
The young Martin, now prepared, arrived at the dining hall.
A long table that could seat dozens held only one person.
A man seated at the head, a very familiar face, though slightly younger than in my memories.
“Sit.”
An expression devoid of change.
A dry tone.
His well-groomed mustache and hair seemed to proclaim his pride and rigidity as a noble at a glance.
The Patriarch of the Ulvhadin Family, Martin’s father, William.
As Martin sat, the meal began.
And without any prelude, as if it were nothing, the conversation started.
“Starting tomorrow, I’ll be leaving the mansion to guard the frontier. You’ll be alone for at least three years.”
Martin’s spoon froze midair.
“If you have any issues, contact me anytime.”
“…Yes, Father.”
The young Martin was remarkably composed.
He might not have fully grasped the concept of three years, but he didn’t throw a tantrum over his father’s long absence.
“You, too, carry the blood of Ulvhadin. You must cultivate the qualities to bear the family’s name. I’ve arranged teachers for you, so start your education tomorrow.”
“Understood.”
The conversation began abruptly.
Perhaps this was the young Martin’s most vivid memory, an image so clear it lingered even into adulthood.
“Young Master, if you don’t understand mathematics, you won’t grasp economics or military studies either.”
“You must learn not only the Imperium Empire’s language but also the tongues of the frontier kingdoms.”
“Our Ulvhadin County is renowned for marksmanship. I’ll teach you the basics starting now.”
He began lessons with over six teachers a day, but…
“Remarkable! How did you master this in just one day!”
“Haha, a blessing for the Ulvhadin County!”
“Young Master, you’re a prodigy!”
A prodigy.
A child with exceptional talent.
Martin surpassed everyone’s expectations, astonishing them with his remarkable abilities.
‘Hah, so that’s it.
With this level of talent, he could enter the Imperium Academy.’
The scenes of lessons passed quickly.
Likely because they didn’t leave a strong impression in Martin’s memory.
But at some point, the memories began to flow vividly again.
“Martin, look at them.”
He saw slum dwellers, clad in rags, leaning against blackened, dilapidated shacks to survive.
“They are the necessary evil of the city. We could do without them, but then managing evil would be harder. Without dark, filthy places, all sorts of illegal organizations would scatter. You must understand this law of attraction. Oh, don’t worry about them. They survive by scavenging anything, even if you give them nothing. It’s better not to think of them as human.”
Martin was learning about city management from a teacher.
Even the innocent Martin felt something off about this education.
“I learned in history that His Majesty, the First Emperor Hamerd, was of commoner origin and appointed people regardless of their background. Was that wrong?”
“No. That was the era back then. Everyone stood on the same line. But it’s different now, Martin. Over a thousand years have passed since the classes were divided. These are slum dwellers. You are a noble. Never forget that the lower ones are expendable for the sake of the elite. They exist for our refined hobbies.”
“Is that so?”
“Of course. Trust me, Vistavern, a renowned educator in the Imperium Empire, personally teaching you.”
‘What?!’
Marquis Vistavern!
The name was all too familiar.
The man who fostered the underworld, encouraging human trafficking, slaughter parties, drugs, and prostitution.
A fiend who covered up sinners’ crimes, devoured human flesh, and treated people worse than beasts.
Even in death, he rambled about refined hobbies while triggering bombs across the imperial capital.
A madman.
‘Why on earth was this man in charge of Martin’s education…?!’
“Then, are there truly no talented individuals among them?”
“Of course not.”
“Then prove it to me.”
“Very well. I’ll show you, on the honor of the Vistavern County.”
It must have been a county back then.
Vistavern pulled a coin purse from his pocket and poured its contents onto the ground.
Like a cascade of coins, the dazzling sound snapped the slum dwellers’ heads toward it, their gazes fixated.
“Foolish creatures, receive the mercy of us nobles. Take one coin each and offer it to those who’ve helped you most financially today. Of course, you don’t have to. There’s no reward for it. Take as many coins as you want and leave; we won’t stop you. I swear it on the name of a noble.”
It was an odd statement.
He scattered money but told them to bring it back.
The slum dwellers rushed forward.
Far from taking just one coin, they grabbed as many as they could.
Some even stole from others.
“Look, Youngsik.”
“….”
“This is the ugly reality. Foolish, so foolish, they can only possess foolish actions and thoughts.”
“….”
“I declare, not a single one will follow my words.”
As Vistavern said, they began to greedily hoard the coins like beasts.
Their hands were full, their pockets overflowing, yet they stuffed more, even tearing their pockets.
If they felt it wasn’t enough, they struck and robbed the slum dwellers beside them without hesitation.
“Fascinating, isn’t it? Our duty is to observe and analyze these fools to provide a better breeding environment. Their duty is to sacrifice everything for us.”
“….”
“Ah, this is precisely our refined hobby.”
“….”
The refined hobby spiel was here, too.
The coins on the ground were nearly gone, and the slum dwellers began fleeing quickly, fearing the benefactor might change his mind.
Their naked greed looked utterly repulsive.
But then.
“Shall we head back, Youngsik Martin? Today, I’ll teach you how to observe humans and tips for managing these fools. Be grateful. People line up with stacks of money to receive my education…”
“There…”
Vistavern’s eyes widened as he turned his head.
Martin, too, silently gazed at a girl.
Her appearance was filthy, her brown hair grown haphazardly, obscuring her face.
She wore no shoes, her feet covered in scars, and her hands were blackened with grime.