Chapter 151. Someone’s Period (1)
The sun set with an unusually red hue, and a light rain was falling.
Dan Haru realized something.
“…It’s too heavy.”
Perhaps, he was a bit tired of living.
Carrying the weight of time, which had repeated countless times, was more grueling and difficult than he had thought.
“…….”
How heavy it was to face the many timelines he had ruined.
“I’m sorry, hyungs.”
Even though none of it was his fault, Dan Haru found it overwhelming.
“I’m sorry….”
In his completely broken, hollow eyes, not even tears could be seen.
The deep and clear eyes, which someone had once praised as resembling the sunset, slowly closed. When they reopened, they gleamed with a liveliness and sparkle that hadn’t been there before, facing the faint sunlight and shadows cast in his room.
“Haru, the hyungs said it’s time to eat.”
“Oh, Eunchan hyung.”
“What are you doing alone in your room? Are you sick?”
At Eunchan’s words, who had entered the room, Haru shook his head.
“No, I’m fine. I’ve just been zoning out lately.”
“Are you sure you’re not really sick?”
“No way, I’m super healthy!”
“Nothing came up in your health check, right?”
“Yes. They said I couldn’t be healthier.”
There wasn’t a trace of shadow to be found on Dan Haru’s face as he spoke with a lively tone and smile.
As Eunchan and Haru headed to the cafeteria, playfully teasing each other, the other trainees who had already taken their seats greeted them. After receiving his food, Haru naturally blended into the table with Eunchan.
“Jaiden hyung, why are you eating so much today?”
“I need to eat a lot. Tomorrow, I might not get to eat this, and it would be a waste.”
“…Ah, this hyung. You’re really killing the mood.”
At Jaiden’s mention of the second elimination round, Shin Kyungho, who was sitting next to him, irritably put down his chopsticks and glared at him. But no one felt threatened by his actions.
Park Jaeyoung, who was sitting across from Jaiden, cautiously asked, sensing the atmosphere among the hyungs.
“But… if you get eliminated… what will you do, hyungs?”
For a moment, silence fell over the table at Park Jaeyoung’s question.
Out of the 13 trainees present, the first to answer was Yu Geon, who was at the end of the table, casually picking at his rolled omelet.
“I’m thinking of working at a factory.”
“A factory?”
“I need to earn money. Once I leave the company, the support money will stop too.”
Yu Geon calmly chewed his rolled omelet, explaining that he already had a few recommendations from his grandfather’s acquaintances. No one asked if he was disappointed or if he was giving up on his dream.
Everyone here knew that Yu Geon’s reality weighed heavier than his dreams and that the dream of becoming an idol wasn’t as desperate for Yu Geon as it was for others.
The next to speak was Gong Seok.
“I… might go back to studying.”
“Oh, college?”
“Yeah. It might not be as good as Siwoo’s school, but I feel like there’s still a lot left to learn. I’m considering reapplying or transferring.”
“Are you thinking of transferring to another arts school?”
“Hmm… I’m not sure yet.”
Gong Seok’s words, which hinted that he might do something other than singing, made Siwoo, who was sitting next to him, flinch. But Siwoo didn’t add any comments and simply continued eating quietly.
Siwoo knew that, as someone who had consistently been at the top and was almost certain to debut, he shouldn’t insert himself into this conversation lightly.
“Jaiden, are you going back to Chicago?”
“Maybe? I’m not pretty sure.”
“I don’t like goodbyes…”
“Yuki, you should relearn Korean.”
“Kyungho hyung, don’t talk like that.”
“What did I say?”
Shin Kyungho, who was picking on Yuki, who still struggled with Korean, glared at Taehyun, who had told him off. He seemed to be more sensitive, knowing that his chances of being eliminated were high after his relationship scandal broke out.
“Honestly, who benefits from this conversation? ‘If I get eliminated,’ come on. If anyone still doesn’t know who’s getting eliminated, they’re just an idiot.”
“Kyungho hyung.”
“Ah, come on! Honestly, who do you think will get eliminated? It’s not funny; it’s just…”
“Kyungho, cut it out.”
Just as Shin Kyungho was about to kick the table leg in frustration, he froze at the voice calling him.
Dan Haru, who was seated, tensed up at the low, intimidating voice that he had almost never heard before. Hajin, who was sitting at one end of the table, placed the cup of water he had been drinking loudly on the table and stared at Kyungho.
“You were the one who got into a relationship, so why are you taking it out on everyone else?”
“…”
At Hajin’s words, Kyungho pursed his lips in dissatisfaction. Hajin, as if it were no big deal, picked up his spoon again and continued eating his soup, speaking in a playfully mischievous tone.
“Then let’s change the question. If you could go back in time, before Miro Maze started, would you all still participate?”
At Hajin’s question, everyone started murmuring as if they had a lot to say. Eunchan, who was sitting with Haru, answered without hesitation.
“Absolutely.”
“Even if you couldn’t sleep, got criticized by people, and might not debut?”
“Absolutely. I’ve gained more from this than I could ever lose.”
The surrounding trainees gave an impressed “ooh” at Eunchan’s answer, shifting the attention towards him. Feeling awkward under the attention, Eunchan passed the question to Lee Doha, who was quietly eating his second helping of food.
“What about you, Doha hyung? You’d do Miro Maze again, right?”
Doha, who had been eating quietly without saying a word, nodded without a moment’s hesitation at Eunchan’s question.
“Yeah, I’d do it.”
“Whoa, that’s surprising, Doha hyung.”
“Shouldn’t you have joined SPR-it out instead?”
“Why? I’m an aspiring idol.”
“That’s the most surprising part.”
Despite the trainees’ remarks, Doha simply continued to eat without much response. He finished his meal, neatly placed his chopsticks on the clean tray, and turned his gaze to Wonho, who was sitting across from him.
“Wonho, what about you?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear. What was that?”
“If you could turn back time, would you participate in Miro Maze again?”
As Doha asked, Yu Geon, Hajin, and Taehyun all turned to look at Wonho simultaneously. Wonho, who had been half-heartedly paying attention to the conversation, scratched his head awkwardly, feeling the pressure of their gazes. After a brief moment of thought, he slowly shook his head.
“…I don’t know. Maybe fifty-fifty?”
Wonho grinned and buried his head back in his tray to continue eating. The trainees, understanding the complexity of his feelings, simply gave him light responses, allowing Wonho to blend back into the conversation.
“What about you, Haru?”
After hearing Wonho’s answer, Hajin, who seemed lost in thought, raised his head and asked Haru, who was sitting at the opposite end of the table.
“Haru, if you could turn back time, what would you want to do?”
Though the question had subtly changed, no one found it strange.
From one end of the table to the other, Haru’s clear and sparkling eyes looked at Hajin.
“Hmm, I…”
Haru pondered.
If he could turn back time, what would he want to do?
If he could turn back time, there were many things he wanted to do.
He wanted to stop Taehyun from being tormented by that awful Director.
He wanted to go back to when Eunchan was struggling because of Sungwoo and teach Sungwoo a lesson.
He wanted to erase the time when Yu Geon suffered from malicious comments, and when Hajin was criticized for all those false rumors.
Also, if he could, he would have stopped the unfortunate incident that happened during the guerrilla concert.
Not now, but… maybe, if the upcoming elimination results didn’t satisfy him, he might want to try again.
“Hmm, as for me.”
But now that everything had passed, and with Dan Haru unable to turn back time, he thought absentmindedly.
“Even if I could turn back time, I would still want to perform on stage with the hyungs. In any way possible. That’s enough for me.”
Whatever happened, if it was with these hyungs, he felt he could overcome it.
That’s what he had learned from his hyungs.
Like the clear sky after the rain.
“…Really? That’s touching.”
Hajin smiled and lowered his head after hearing Haru’s answer.
The clattering sound of dishes echoed loudly in the cafeteria.
As their last dinner together as thirteen trainees drew to a close, the rain outside gradually began to stop.
* * *
After an unusually long night, the morning dawned.
The boys, each holding onto their dreams and reality, stepped into the familiar studio.
“Good morning, Hajin.”
“Good morning, noona.”
Hajin greeted the hair and makeup staff, who had become more than just familiar to him, as he entered a makeshift hair and makeup room in one of the studio’s waiting rooms. After sitting in
the prepared seat, the stylist, who was always in charge of Hajin’s hair, approached and began brushing his hair while asking,
“How do you want your hair today? Since there’s no stage today, I’ll do it however you want.”
“Hmm…”
Hajin, who was checking out hairstyles on the tablet handed over by the assistant staff, pointed out a style commonly referred to as the ‘comma hair.’
“How about something like this? Since I’m wearing a shirt today.”
“Alright then.”
After handing the tablet back to the assistant staff, Hajin felt the familiar, skillful hands running through his hair. Nearby, Taehyun was getting his makeup done, while behind him, Yu Geon, who had recently gone through another bleaching session, was getting scolded by the hairstylist.
“But Hajin, are you really going to keep your hair like this until the end?”
“Huh?”
“Tomorrow is the final. I thought you might want to try a makeover or something.”
The stylist, who was trimming Hajin’s hair while he watched the other trainees through the mirror, asked. Hajin’s gaze returned to his own reflection in the mirror.
Come to think of it, his hairstyle had been pretty similar all this time. He had stuck with straight black hair to minimize image consumption… but maybe it was time for something new.
Hajin lightly touched his hair and smiled.
“If I pass, maybe I’ll dye it.”
“It’d be good to try it while you can. This company doesn’t seem to interfere much, anyway. Come by our shop next time. I’ll make it look nice.”
“If I pass today, I’ll think about it and let you know.”
“Sigh, I really hope all of you make it. I’ve been to many survival shows, but I still can’t get used to people getting eliminated.”
Today, three more will be eliminated.
“…I know.”
Kang Hajin felt the weight of those words more heavily than ever today.