Chapter 122. The Reason for Action (9)
“Ah, Mother. This way, please.”
Young-in cautiously entered the studio, guided by Suho. The broadcasting studio, which she was visiting for the first time in her life, was surprisingly not as large as she had imagined.
“It’s a bit hectic, isn’t it? We’re about to start recording…. I’ll make sure you meet Hajin after the recording ends.”
“No, it’s okay. He’s working, so I shouldn’t disturb him.”
Despite Suho’s careful words, she shook her head. Young-in knew that this place was Hajin’s workplace, and that the broadcasting industry was a place where one had to be careful with every word and action.
She simply wanted to see Hajin and his stage today, without the intention of being a parent at a child’s school performance.
“Oh, the kids are coming up now.”
“Yes, I see Hajin.”
“You’ve already seen him? Well, he does stand out since he’s tall.”
“He’s been like that since he was young. He was always a head taller than his friends, so during events like sports days, he was the only one you could see.”
Young-in smiled pleasantly as she reminisced about Hajin’s childhood.
But even if Hajin had been of average height, Young-in would have been able to spot her son before anyone else, no matter where or when.
‘But his styling is different from the last broadcast?’
Young-in thought as she looked at Hajin on stage.
Unlike the normal full school uniform of Miro Maze, Hajin on stage had a rather rebellious appearance.
With a band-aid on one cheek, his uniform shirt unbuttoned, revealing a black graphic t-shirt underneath, and sleeves rolled up carelessly with a sports band on his wrist and a moderately sparkling cross necklace over the t-shirt.
Hajin looked as if he was ready to run out to the playground after lunch, which ironically was very similar to the image Young-in had of Hajin during his school days.
‘He used to dress just like that when he was in school.’
It felt strange to realize that Hajin had already turned twenty and that nearly half a year had passed.
It had already been that long since Hajin, whom she thought had completely given up on his dream of becoming a singer, convinced her and her husband that he wanted to become an idol trainee again.
And within those six months, Hajin was now standing on a music broadcast stage, performing his own stage.
“Alright, we’re about to start recording! Everyone, please be quiet!”
With someone’s voice, the studio quickly settled down.
Hajin, on stage, was seen whispering something to each of his team members. The members nodded or smiled slightly in response to Hajin’s words.
So Young-in felt reassured somehow. It seemed like Hajin was doing well as usual.
“But do they start like this right away? I thought Haru usually started the stage first.”
“Oh, that will be recorded separately after this. We’ll film it later.”
“They’ll probably edit it in separately. After all, live performances are different from pre-recorded ones.”
As Young-in asked curiously while looking at the Sad Ending team, who had lined up in formation from the start, Suho kindly explained. Young-in nodded in understanding.
Although it was her first time visiting a broadcasting station, she seemed to have a fairly good understanding of the industry. Suho looked at her with slight surprise, and sensing his gaze, Young-in smiled and responded.
“Hajin often chats with me about this and that over the phone. After hearing so much, I’ve learned a bit by ear.”
“Ah, I see. You’re very well-informed. Mother, there’s a monitor over there that shows the broadcast footage captured by the camera, but it might be more comfortable for you to watch directly from here.”
“Hmm…. Yes, I’d like to see the stage today.”
Suho pointed to the PGM monitor for the artists. Since music broadcasts were entirely about what the camera captured, managers usually gave overall feedback on the stage by watching this PGM monitor.
However, since Hajin wouldn’t always be shown on camera, Suho made sure Young-in could keep watching Hajin on stage rather than through the monitor.
“Alright, then you can watch the stage from here. I need to monitor from over there. Enjoy the show, Mother.”
“Yes, thank you, Team Leader.”
“No, I should be the one thanking you for entrusting Hajin to us.”
Suho replied with a smile. Just before moving to the PGM monitor, he quietly added a word to Young-in.
“Hajin is really doing well. You’ll be proud when you see him.”
At Suho’s sincere praise, Young-in responded with her characteristic bright smile.
“Hajin has always made me proud.”
Hearing that response, Suho was convinced.
Hajin had been able to take that “last step” despite all the hardships because of this very person.
Even though they hadn’t talked much, Suho could be sure of that.
“…Then, I’ll see you later.”
“Yes. Please don’t worry about me and focus on your work.”
“Thank you, Mother.”
Suho turned toward the PGM monitor.
Now alone, Young-in looked back at Hajin on stage. The slate clapped, and the stage was filled with very familiar purple LED lights and spotlights.
A brief silence.
Soon, the intro of “Letter to You,” a song she had heard so many times that she could now sing along, began to play.
This is a letter I send to the one I loved.
Young-in’s large eyes focused on one person alone.
At that moment, countless memories quickly enveloped her.
Hajin’s first school performance at age 7,
His first musical with the children’s theater,
His first competition with the trainees,
The first talent show he prepared with his school friends.
The many “first stages” of Hajin.
Today, she once again captured Hajin’s “first stage” in her eyes.
And that filled her with gratitude and happiness.
– In a family with no money, how can you even think about performing arts? Hajin’s mom, you’re too naive about the world.
– What will the kids do if it doesn’t work out? How will they make a living later? Honestly, how many people actually succeed as singers….
– Aren’t you worried about your kids? Who raises their kids like that these days?
So many voices she had heard while raising Hajin and Hawon.
In the midst of a mundane day, sometimes holding on to the slowly passing time,
Over it all, Hajin’s warm and kind voice blanketed her.
The child who sang with a smile, as if he were the happiest person in the world, shone brighter than anything else.
Young-in wanted to ask instead.
How could anyone not support a child who shines so brightly on stage?
– Mom, sometimes I’m scared of my insignificant future. I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.
– So I’ll just do something else. Not something with potential, but something I’m good at.
“He’s so good….”
She wanted to tell Hajin, who said that.
You’ve always been good, you’ve always done well, and not once have you ever disappointed me.
“You’re doing great, my son.”
So this time, she was determined to say it.
No matter where this challenge leads you, I am proud of every step you’ve taken.
With her nose tingling, Young-in held back the urge to cry as she watched Hajin’s stage.
* * *
– Okay, Sad Ending team, let’s move on to the intro and outro!
“Thank you!”
– Yes, good work everyone~
There were three total recordings.
It wasn’t because of the team members’ mistakes, but because the main PD seemed to get a bit greedy and kept requesting something extra each time.
‘But I think we did well enough.’
Hajin received a tissue from the makeup staff and placed it on his forehead, catching his breath.
Since this was a high-difficulty performance that required a costume change on stage, it might have looked peaceful to the viewers, but for the performers, it was exhausting. The rebellious school uniform fashion from earlier was gone, and Hajin was now dressed in a neatly fitted suit for the second verse.
Hajin loosened the tie that had been choking him and unbuttoned his tight shirt.
“Guys, great job, great job.”
As they descended backstage, the new manager handed out hand fans to the trainees and encouraged them. Yugeon, seemingly trying to earn his keep, quietly stayed by the manager’s side, handing out water bottles to the trainees.
Haru, who had received a small water bottle from Yugeon, even opened the cap and gulped it down.
“Haru, drink the water slowly. You’ll choke if you’re not careful.”
“Choke!”
“Hey! This kid!”
“Haru, are you okay? Someone, get me a tissue.”
The moment Yugeon spoke out in concern while watching Haru, the latter coughed and spilled some water. Tae-hyun immediately brought a tissue and checked Haru’s makeup and clothes while Hajin stared absentmindedly at the stage.
On the stage, they were changing the setup for Haru’s intro and outro filming. The sight of the PDs holding clipboards with cue sheets and alternating between intercoms and walkie-talkies felt oddly new.
“Hyung.”
“…….”
“Hajin hyung!”
“…Huh? What?”
“What are you thinking about? Come on, let’s go.”
“Oh. Yeah, let’s go.”
Hajin snapped out of his thoughts at Tae-hyun’s voice calling him.
This was truly his place now.
And realizing that made Hajin feel a bit strange.
*
* *
Since Haru’s recording was about to start, the Sad Ending team had to return to the waiting room.
However, Haru whined that he was too nervous to be left alone, and the other members seemed secretly eager to watch Haru’s recording as well.
So in the end, only Hajin and Jaeyoung headed back to the waiting room.
“Hajin hyung, why aren’t you watching my stage!”
“I need to go fix my bandage since it’s coming off. You’ll finish quickly, right?”
“Still…. What about Jaeyoung?”
“Jaeyoung’s too nervous and feels dizzy. I’ll let him lie down for a bit, so do well.”
“Okay….”
“Tae-hyun and Jaiden are staying, and Yugeon will be here too, so don’t feel discouraged.”
“…? I was going to the waiting room…?”
“Nope. You’re staying here.”
…Yugeon looked briefly puzzled as he was about to head to the waiting room, but Hajin kindly smiled and shook his head.
“If you’re the babysitter, you should take care of the kids. Where do you think you’re going?”
“Wasn’t I supposed to be the bodyguard?”
“It’s similar enough since they both start with ‘Bo’. Just roll with it.”
Yugeon gave Hajin a look as if wondering, ‘What kind of person is this hyung?’ But Hajin simply ignored it.
“Hajin-ah, you were originally supposed to move with Team Leader Suho…. But he’s been called to the control room by the main PD for a moment, so…”
“Oh, then Jaeyoung and I will just go by ourselves. It’s not far anyway. We know the way.”
“Umm…. Really? We’re not supposed to move separately….”
“Ah, it’s fine. We’ll just go and rest for a bit.”
Hajin reassured the manager repeatedly that they would be fine. The new manager, who was still tense, seemed to be quite a meticulous person, which Hajin liked.
‘When it’s time for our debut… will he join our team?’
Even if not, Hajin thought he should say something nice to Suho later, and he headed to the waiting room with Jaeyoung.
As soon as they stepped out of the studio and breathed in the fresh air, Jaeyoung’s complexion noticeably improved, as if he felt better.
“What use is having such a weak heart?”
“…I know, right? I didn’t think I’d be such a coward either. I couldn’t even participate in the first mission because I was sick….”
…Ahem.
Though no one had accused him, Hajin cleared his throat lightly and averted his gaze.
‘I really need to tear that damned regressor apart someday….’
[System Alarm: Please take a number. I’m No. 1.]
As soon as the regressor was mentioned, Thirteen appeared, as if on cue, with a spectacular flaming effect. Apparently, he remembered Hajin’s comment about having trauma with red things because the flames were yellow this time.
Hajin clicked his tongue in annoyance, but Jaeyoung quickly changed the topic, finding something else to talk about.
“Hyung, are you okay? Your hand….”
“Ah, I’m fine. I think it opened up a bit earlier when I put my weight on it during the choreography.”
The wound that had seemed to be healing well started stinging as the last recording ended, and eventually, blood began to ooze out.
Although the bleeding had stopped by the time the stage was over, and it didn’t hurt much, Hajin figured he should change the bandage, so he was heading to the waiting room.
“It didn’t show up on camera, did it? Your blood?”
“I didn’t see it during the monitoring? Seriously, I’m fine. Do you want to see?”
“Argh! No, thanks!”
“When you react like that, it just makes me want to show you even more.”
Hajin peeled off the bandage stuck to his palm, teasing Jaeyoung, who was horrified. He thrust the unsightly wound with blood seeping through at Jaeyoung, who recoiled in shock.
“Aaaah! Stop it! Don’t show me!”
“Sniff, Jaeyoung-ah. Hyung is in so much pain. Look at this. The flesh is all torn….”
“Ahh, I can’t hear, I can’t hear! I can’t hear anything!”
“Sob, this heartless little brother is running away instead of comforting his injured hyung. Now I have to chase after you.”
Hajin, who was thoroughly enjoying teasing his younger brother, began to follow Jaeyoung, who was running away with his ears covered. The distance between the studio and the waiting room wasn’t far, so the two of them reached the waiting room in no time.
“Seriously, I told you to stop!”
“Aaaah! Jaeyoung! Hyung is in so much pain!! So much pain!!”
“Now I understand why Eunchan keeps asking to change rooms, really.”
Jaeyoung sighed as he opened the waiting room door. Hajin, with his face all scrunched up, continued to shake his injured hand. He was the most sincere person in the world when it came to teasing his younger brother.
The two of them stepped into the waiting room.
“Ugh, it hurts so much…. Look, Jaeyoung. Blood is still dripping from hyung’s hand….”
“…Son?”
“……?”
“………?”
Hajin, who was making all sorts of whining noises as he entered the waiting room, suddenly froze.
Why do I hear the voice of someone who should never be in our waiting room?
Blinking, Hajin looked around the waiting room. And then, his eyes met someone’s.
With whom?
His mom!
Young-in’s pale gaze silently fixed on Hajin’s hand.
“Why is your hand like that? Are you hurt?”
“…….”
[System Alarm: …This isn’t a system issue, but rather Kang Hajin’s self-inflicted misfortune.]
Uh. Well, you see…
Hajin clammed up.
Damn it, what do I say now…?