Chapter 44 - Then No Matter What, You Have to Swallow It Down
"Father, can you not let Luo He follow me anymore?"
At this moment, the girl had already grown into a young maiden, currently in her maiden's prime.
Her friends had increased, her goals had also become more diverse; she had grown up.
So she began to dislike this silent fool beside her.
He always stuck to her.
When she cultivated, he also cultivated; when she didn't cultivate and rested, he would guard outside her cabin, planted there like a wooden stake.
The crucial point was that Luo He always had a faint, sinister and cold aura of the evil path about him. Wherever she went, Luo He would follow, and then the young maiden would hear people whispering.
‘How come Sect Master Luo's daughter is followed by such a bizarre character?’
‘Don't know... but that black shadow looks horrifying; better to stay far away from him...’
Luo He was like a taboo-inspiring departed spirit, constantly clinging to her side.
At her age, she could least tolerate this kind of censure and exclusion, even if she was the Sect Master's daughter.
"I told you long ago not to speak of Luo He's matter again."
"But Father, you don't know how much he..."
"I said, don't speak of it!"
"!"
The young maiden had never thought that her father, who had always been peaceful and loving towards her on usual days, would actually shout at her like this because of Luo He.
Luo He... she... Luo Wenshui...
Why did he also have the surname Luo, yet Father was never willing to talk about him...
A conjecture that was difficult for the young maiden to accept formed in her mind.
She gritted her teeth and burst out of Luo Wenshui's residence; Luo He was still guarding outside the door. Seeing her come out, he instinctively followed...
"Stop following me!"
The young maiden, her thoughts in turmoil, seeing Luo He's silent appearance at this moment, felt even more incomparably irritated. In a moment of impulse, the Lu Lan Sword at her waist had already transformed into a flash of sword light and struck out...
The Lu Lan Sword, fourth of the Tianchen Seven Swords, was irresistibly sharp. Without any surprise, it broke through Luo He's protective spiritual energy, the sword's edge sinking into Luo He's right shoulder.
"You, why didn't you dodge..."
Luo He and she spent their days and nights together; his strength, the young maiden knew clearly in her heart. This sword strike, how could he not have been able to avoid it?
Seeing fresh blood suddenly appear on Luo He's right shoulder—this was not her intention. She hurriedly sheathed her sword, a trace of regret rising in her heart.
She quickly went forward to check... The wound was somewhat deep; the muscle inside could be clearly seen, and even the collarbone could be vaguely felt.
But even so, this person's eyes still showed no ripple... Truly, like a corpse, he just looked at her faintly.
The young maiden's breath couldn't help but slow for a beat; those worried emotions from before also vanished instantly.
That was the first time she had sensed that Luo He, who already rarely showed any emotion before her...
…was simply not like a human.
...
That night, the young maiden knocked on Luo He's door.
Although Luo He followed her like a shadow most of the time, occasionally there would be a few days like this when he stayed by himself.
After thinking it over for an entire day, the young maiden still decided to come and apologize to Luo He.
Although the young maiden's current view of Luo He was already completely different from the perspective of a childhood playmate, nevertheless... Luo He was, after all, her sword attendant, and perhaps, even possibly her younger brother.
Although both these identities made her feel a great dislike, it was also a fact that she had injured him without cause.
Knock, knock.
"It's me."
The young maiden received no response. She frowned and opened the door, only to hear faint, muffled groans coming from the pitch-black room.
"......"
She drew her sword, the sword light illuminating the room. She saw Luo He lying on the bed-couch with his eyes closed, making strange sounds, as if he were asleep.
And the wound on his right shoulder... had actually healed as if new within a single day.
The only strange thing was, ever since stepping near Luo He...
"So cold..."
The young maiden always felt a chilly air spread from her feet to her entire body.
And the source of that chilly air was Luo He.
Wait...
She suddenly thought, this was the first time she had seen Luo He with his eyes closed, completely unguarded.
This meant...
The young maiden's gaze shifted to Luo He's white fox mask, which he had never taken off.
Although she subconsciously felt that she would regret this foolish act immensely on some future day...
But whether it was because of the curiosity towards it that had been born since childhood, or to overcome her fear of Luo He, or for some other indescribable reason...
The young maiden's fingers unfastened the mask's strap.
The moonlight mercilessly spilled over the window lattice and shone into the room.
It illuminated Luo He's hand, which had grabbed the young maiden's.
He had just awakened from the pain of yin qi devouring his body and had immediately sensed the young maiden's aura, also immediately realizing what she wanted to do.
After so many years... she still hadn't given up.
But when Luo He looked intently, the moonlight also illuminated the young maiden's terrified and aghast expression.
Luo He reached up to touch his own face; what he felt was not fine, smooth white porcelain, but a rough and unbearable sensation, as if a demon were crawling on it.
That white fox mask had already been unfastened and lay beside the window.
"Let go!"
The young maiden struggled free from Luo He's hand, retreated several steps consecutively until she was against the wall, her face deathly pale, and raised the Lu Lan Sword towards him.
"Who on earth are you, Luo He! Who are you really!!"
"......"
And there was a pair of hands, struggling in despair, passing through the young maiden's body.
Don't do this, don't do this!
He's in pain... he's in pain, ah...
But this place was just a cinema, and she was a moviegoer.
Her hand could not reach into the screen.
She could only watch blankly as she, again and again, added wounds to his body.
She was ignorant and benighted; she was high and mighty.
She savored his pain, his tribulations, yet those were the very nutrients she depended on for survival.
How could there be such a cruel relationship in this world? How could there be such a cruel concealment in this world?
Lojong Hongyu knelt on the ground, her eyes dry and hollow, unable to shed tears.
She had been betrayed by her own life; she had been abandoned by her own life.
She finally realized now, the truth she had always pursued...
Knowing it would be painful, not knowing it would also be painful.
But the movie continued, time was still rewinding; as the sole audience member, Luo Hongyu continued to watch.
The young girl's address for him gradually changed to "Young Master."
She no longer beat or scolded him with disdain, but rather treated him with coldness and neglect.
But what difference was there to him between a branding iron and an ice pick?
Luo He followed behind the Young Master.
Luo Hongyu watched Luo He's back.
Luo Hongyu dazedly felt that she seemed to have rarely seen Luo He's back; in most situations, he stood behind her, chasing after her.
He could always catch up.
But now, all he left for Luo Hongyu was a shadow.
She couldn't catch it; she couldn't even beg for a glance from the shadow.
Just like back then, she too would never cast her gaze behind herself.
The memories continued to pass, year after year.
The existence named Luo Hongyu, during this period, was also being hollowed out bit by bit by her own hands.
The final scene was fixed on that night in the Zen courtyard of the Nine Elephant Gate.
She saw Luo He awaken from Huoxin's illusory realm, listening to the Young Master's muddled murmurs to him.
He sheathed the Lu Lan Sword in her hand and placed it by her side.
Afterwards, he stepped into the deep night, like a withered leaf in late autumn.
The movie ended.
Luo Hongyu returned to the side of that well; the white fox mask was still on her face.
The black-robed boy walked out from the darkness at the side and stood quietly beside her.
Luo Hongyu now knew: everything she had just experienced from Luo He's perspective had come from that po-soul within her spiritual soul, the one that belonged to Luo He.
This was the truth she had always longed for in her dreams.