Chapter 48
"Ellie, NO!"
Ariana instantly grabbed my right arm.
I snapped back to my senses and dispersed the mana. When I looked at Ariana, she was staring at me desperately, peering into my face. Her large eyes were brimming with tears.
That was close. I almost blasted these idiots away with a lightning spell. These bastards aren't even worth Ellie's hands. There's no need to dirty them—not even a little.
"Mmm~ What's wrong? Hungry, fatty?"
At Bob's words, the jeering laughter of the three idiots grated on my ears.
I took a deep breath to calm myself and whispered "Thank you" to Ariana. She shook her head slightly before nodding in concern.
Just as I tried to leave without saying anything to Bob, another unpleasant voice rang out from the back of the venue.
"Lord Bob!"
Scarlet came running over, her golden spiral curls swaying.
Looking around, the same hangers-on who'd tormented me were with her. All of them were clad in thick leather one-piece dresses that looked high in defense, along with frilly shirts that screamed tackiness. Among them was that pigtailed girl named Zoe, who'd smashed a bottle of lotion earlier. She glared at me with the same inexplicable hatred as always.
"Lord Bob, you're here too!"
"Yeah, well, guess so."
Scarlet sparkled as she spoke, but Bob's reaction was lukewarm. No chance there. Poor girl.
When Scarlet saw me and Ariana, her face twisted like she'd bitten into something bitter.
"Good day, Ellie Golden. Still as plump as ever, I see."
"Good day, Scarlet Circlet. How was the palace bath?"
I gave a graceful bow, and her face spasmed. Well, no surprise—she was the star of that infamous "Dog-Fused Scarlet—The Stinkiest Bath Incident," an event so legendary it'll forever be recorded in the kingdom's annals.
"Eek! Lady Scarlet, you bathed in the palace?!"
"Oh my! How envious!"
"That's amazing! But... why?!"
The girls around her started squealing, and Scarlet, looking cornered, forced a smile.
"Oh, various reasons... I was graciously permitted to bathe there."
She laughed loudly.
Oh, that's painful. That excuse is *painful*!
"The palace maids were so skilled! Golden petals floated in the bathwater!"
"Oh my~"
"How lovely~"
Gaining momentum, Scarlet puffed her chest out proudly.
Then, a noisy group approached.
It was Debussy—that flaxen-haired bastard, Ama Kuso—surrounded by five women.
Ama Kuso kept brushing his annoying bangs back with a "Fwoosh," proudly showing off the medal around his neck with a "Zzzzip!" before smirking arrogantly. When he spotted me and Scarlet, he sauntered over, laughing. God, he's so obnoxious. Just his *actions* are loud.
"Ah, the radiant Lady Scarlet! Your golden hair is as beautiful as ever—shining bright, just like this 'Great Wolf Medal'!"
He flashed the medal, and the girls shrieked in delight.
Then, Ama Kuso casually approached Scarlet.
"Mmm, you smell wonderful, Lady Scarlet. I'm relieved. For a moment there, I feared the worst."
"Ah, y-yes... Thank you, Lord Debussy."
"Think nothing of it! Caring for ladies is my duty!"
Squee~ Lord Debussy!
Cheers erupted. From the looks of it, these girls were all airheads—the kind any guy could drag to bed in five seconds. No thanks.
Man, Ama Kuso's such an idiot. Lately, watching him has become my entertainment.
"It was quite the ordeal back then!"
"Y-yes... Indeed, Lord Debussy..."
And, as usual, Ama Kuso was oblivious to the mood.
Scarlet was sweating bullets.
Yes! Keep digging your own grave!
Scarlet's hangers-on and Ama Kuso's groupies were all ears, pressing in to hear what happened. The girls clung to him, and his smug face was unbearable.
"It was so dreadful, I'd rather not recall it!"
"Hahaha! Has my dazzling water magic seared itself into your memory?!"
"Yes, absolutely!"
Their conversation's a *wreck*!
Scarlet was desperately trying to change the subject, but Ama Kuso wasn't listening.
"Had my ultimate technique exploded sooner, we'd have crushed those Bone Lizards faster..."
He glanced repeatedly at the girls.
Immediately, someone piped up, "Ultimate technique?! What's that?!" He looked *way* too happy. I can't—this is gold!
"Fufufu... It's the legendary water magic passed down through the Asil family..."
"Oh! Ellie Golden and Ariana Grantino!"
The voice interrupting belonged to Surume, with a silver plate on his chest, and Gargaine, clad in rough dwarf-forged leather armor.
The two strolled over, drinks in hand, and casually joined the circle. Apparently, even minors could drink in this world.
Someone nearby started whispering, "That's the 'Great Wolf Medal' group." Sure enough—me, Ariana, Surume, Gargaine, Scarlet, and Ama Kuso were all gathered.
Bob, clearly displeased, glared before disappearing. Ariana snarled, "Next time, I'll kill you, Ellie," with enough venom that I patted her head. She *would* do it.
"Oh, look—Ama Kuso and Spiral-Curl are here too."
"Who're you calling Ama Kuso?!"
"Who's 'Spiral-Curl'?!"
Ama Kuso and Scarlet yelled in unison.
After I'd coined Ama Kuso's nickname, those two had laughed their heads off and started using it nonstop. Man, I'm a genius. My own talent scares me.
Ignoring their protests, Surume stroked his jutting chin and pointed at Ama Kuso's rear.
"Yo, your butt okay now?"
"Wh-wha—?! What the devil are you talking about?!"
Ama Kuso's voice cracked.
The girls behind him looked confused.
"Nah, sorry 'bout that. But you *were* wobblin' around."
"Damn right."
Gargaine nodded.
"I-I've no idea what you're referring to! Now, listen well, everyone! I was about to demonstrate my family's ultimate technique!"
"Don't need that. More importantly, your butt *really* okay?"
"That 'Fireball' and 'Sand Ball' packed a punch right to your rear."
"I-I don't recall..."
Sweating profusely, Ama Kuso theatrically blew on his bangs.
I punched my thigh to keep from laughing.
"C'mon, remember! Me and Gargaine were arguin', almost had a duel!"
"And then your wobbly butt got nailed by 'Fireball' and 'Sand Ball'!"
"N-nooo! S-someone's mistaken! Yeah, that's it! You've got it all wrong! I was gonna show off my technique!"
Ama Kuso rambled, desperately avoiding reality.
Oh, this is *painful*! What'll he do now?!
"Nobody asked for no 'technique.'"
"Ellie, you hear 'bout it?"
"Not a word."
I answered flatly.
The two were barely holding back laughter. Probably pissed 'cause Ama Kuso had girls flocking around him. Surume kept clicking his tongue at them.
"You *must* know! The legendary water magic of the Asil family!"
"Water magic? *Legendary*? Weak-ass family."
"True."
"Shoulda been ice magic, at least."
"True."
Surume and Gargaine piled on.
The girls eyed Ama Kuso skeptically.
"Ah, anyway, sorry 'bout your butt."
"My bad."
*This* is agony~.
Come on, Ama Kuso, that fake smile is still plastered on your face.
What'll you do, Ama Kuso? You're cornered!
"W-well... maybe? I mean, I kinda remember, kinda don't? But hey, if you guys say so, I'll roll with it."
"Hah? The hell're you on about?"
"We're *apologizing*, dumbass. Sorry 'bout wreckin' your bare ass."
"Ah, yeah... w-well, n-n-not like I care or anything!"
"For real?"
"Seriously?"
"Uh, yeah... well..."
"*Really* for real?"
"*No cap*?"
"Y-yeah, whatev—"
As Ama Kuso whispered hoarsely, Surume and Gargaine theatrically slumped their shoulders. "*Phew~* Glad that's settled!"
"Man, what a relief! After you got *wrecked* by Bone Lizards and we left you ass-naked, thought you'd hold a grudge."
"Right!? *Insta*-KO'd by Bone Lizards, then *full moon* on display!"
"GAAAAH! SHUT UUUUP!!"
"Huh? But *duuuude*. You got *owned* by Bone Liza—"
"*SCREEE*—AHEM! Comrades! As your *leader*, let me recount our *heroic* journey! So many monsters, so little time—"
"*Lord Debussy*?"
"What's this nonsense?"
"*Helpless* against Bone Lizards?"
"You fought till the end, *right*?"
"*Bare ass*?"
Ama Kuso's fanclub of five girls glared at him, torn between fury and disappointment.
Like a cheating husband caught red-handed, Ama Kuso frantically waved his 'Great Wolf Medal' with a twitching grin. "L-look! Proof of my *valor*!"
But the girls ignored his yapping, corroborated the story with Surume and Gargaine, then grilled me and Ariana. Verdict: "*LAAAAAME*."
"*And then*—when the Wolfcats charged—my *Shark Tail* spell *sliced* through two—*BAM*!"
*SLAP!* Ama Kuso's cheek met karma.
*SLAP SLAP WHACK THWACK SLAAAP!* Five more followed.
The girls stormed off, scattering into the venue.
Ama Kuso flopped facedown, twitching like a roach whacked by a rolled-up newspaper.
"GYAHAHAHAHA!"
"BWHAHAHAHA!"
Surume and Gargaine howled, clutching their guts.
These guys are *savages*. (Though Ariana and I are laughing too.)
*Ahem*, Ariana. Stop poking Ama Kuso's corpse with your staff like it's dog poop on a stick. *Unladylike*.
Post-laughing fit, the duo turned to Scarlet.
"Oh yeah... *the smell* (...). You good?"
"It was *rough*, that *stench* (...)."
"...Huh?"
Scarlet short-circuited at the sudden topic shift.
"*The smell* (...). And the *dog*."
"Dogs *love* you, huh?"
Scarlet's eye twitched violently.
Her lackeys tilted their heads. "What dog?"
Yeah, no way they've heard about *Dog-Fused Scarlet*.
Just as Surume and Gargaine licked their chops for round two—*CRASH!* A glass shattered near the entrance, followed by a roar:
"Say that *again*!"
"Gladly! Take your *filthy hands* off her!"
The live music cut. Silence. Then murmurs.
This ain't good.
We abandoned Scarlet, bolting toward the commotion.
"You *dare* steal my woman? A *brat* like you has no right!"
"She's *clearly* unwilling!"
"The Silvers and Goldens go *way back*. Or are you *ignorant*?"
*Golden* family?
No way...