Chapter 29
I'd better stop staring before my eyeballs pop out. Surume and Tansoku look like they're about to punch me with faces full of disgust. Go ahead, punch me as hard as you want. I'll just heal you with 'Heal.'
"Ellie, my head hurts..."
"Because of those idiots, right?"
"Yeah..."
"There, there."
After stroking Ariana's twitching fox ears, I placed my hand on her head and gently chanted "Heal." Along the way, as we complained about those guys, Ariana and I grew much closer. A faint light enveloped Ariana's head.
"Feels better..."
"Tell me again if it hurts."
"Thanks..."
"Yeah, I'll count on you too, you fat la—WHACK!"
I slapped Surume hard across the face.
Surume spun twice like a top before collapsing to the ground.
Calling a lady "fat" is the lowest of the low.
"So, what's the target monster like?"
"Little Lizards."
Tansoku, the dwarf I hadn't properly talked to yet, gave Surume a pitiful look and walked over to us.
"You don't call me ugly or fat, do you?"
"Huh? Of course not."
"Mid-sized monsters..."
"Are they strong?"
"Rank E. No big deal."
Tansoku adjusted the iron hammer on his shoulder.
"They usually move in packs. Watch out for their tongue attacks—getting hit paralyzes you."
"That's troublesome."
Curing paralysis and status effects—so-called "bad statuses"—requires high-level Wood Magic. Light and White Magic can mitigate them somewhat, but the effects aren't instant. Since none of us can use high-level Wood Magic, everyone getting paralyzed would be bad. By the way, no third-years in this school can use advanced magic.
"Don't worry. I'll protect you if anything happens."
Tansoku said bluntly.
"Tanso—Gargaine. I misjudged you."
"Did you just try to call me Tansoku?!"
"—A lady would never say such a thing."
"You... whatever."
Tansoku had guts, so I decided to call him by his name properly in my head.
By the way, at work, I was called the "Nickname Magician." My boss, Andou, who stuck his tongue out like a dog, was "Pomeranian," or "Pomian" for short. The receptionist who talked while looking sideways was "Crystal." The junior who never made paperwork mistakes was "Workman." The annoying HR guy who walked down the middle of the hallway waving his hand and saying "Move it" was "Shabu-Shabu."
While reminiscing about Japan, I left scouting ahead to the leader, Ama Kuso, and walked alongside Gargaine and Ariana, chatting.
Gargaine was from southern Greifner Kingdom. He took the entrance exam because he was the most magically talented in his family. All his relatives were blacksmiths, and thanks to the nearby Adventurers' Guild, they lived comfortably enough to send him here. His dream was to graduate, become an adventurer, and explore uncharted lands—he said this while spitting.
Ariana, on the other hand, was a scholarship student. She didn't talk much about her past but said she wanted to win the Magic Battle Tournament. Clearly, she'd been through a lot. I decided not to pry further.
Surume kept calling me fat and ugly, so I slapped him each time. Wait, no—I slapped him, so he insulted me, creating an infinite loop.
Slap—"You fat—" Slap—"What the hell, ugly—" Slap—"Cut it out, fatty—" Slap—"Y-you fat wom—" Slap—"Ugh... my stamina..." Slap—"Golden, heal me—" Slap—"Crap... my cheek's gonna fall off—" Slap.
By the end, my hand moved on its own, but I ignored it.
Before long, we reached our destination. A lone boulder stood in the middle of the prairie, easily visible from afar. It was big enough for thirty people and about three meters tall. According to the school's field guide, proof of reaching the destination was on top of this boulder. I wondered what it was.
Ama Kuso tried to look cool, using "Wind" to climb the rock.
When he almost slipped, Gargaine, Surume, and I stifled our laughter.
"Everyone! I found the proof!"
Ama Kuso shouted.
"What is it?!"
Surume yelled, looking up at Ama Kuso on the boulder.
"There's something like a dagger stuck in it!"
"Got it! Pull it out quick!"
"It won't budge! Must be some magic on it."
Hearing that, we all scrambled up the boulder. Poor Surume—three meters of rock climbing is brutal when you're nearly 90 kilos.
Scarlet used "Wind" to mess with us, making it take even longer. What a terrible personality.
In the center of the boulder was indeed a dagger, just as Ama Kuso said. Its plain hilt stuck out of the ground, but we couldn't tell how deep it went. Ama Kuso called it a dagger because of the hilt's design.
"I'll do it."
Gargaine tossed his iron hammer aside, spat on his hands, gripped the dagger, and pulled with all his might. But it didn't budge. His face and arms turned red with effort.
"UOOOOOH...!"
Despite his roar, the dagger stayed put. Exhausted, Gargaine fell on his rear.
"Hah... hah... damn..."
I examined the dagger closely.
The hilt was wrapped haphazardly in leather, nothing special. I unwrapped it, revealing densely packed glowing letters. I spread it out for everyone to see.
"Some kind of magic tool?"
Scarlet said arrogantly, arms crossed.
"As expected of the Goddess of Beauty, Scarlet! Absolutely!"
"Probably has a sealing spell..."
"A seal?"
"Yeah..."
Ariana, her face gaunt, said ominously.
"Typical Greifner Magic School! This must be part of the test!"
"Brilliant deduction, incarnation of beauty, Scarlet!"
"Wait. This wasn't part of the assignment."
Professor Harshüge, silent until now, scanned the area sharply.
"Hey, I found this."
Gargaine brought over a wooden relief of the academy's emblem.
"That's the proof of arrival!"
Harshüge exclaimed.
"So then..."
"That dagger..."
Ariana and I exchanged glances after reading the sealing script.
"UOOOOOH! I GOT IT OUT!!!!"
It was too late when we turned.
Surume, grinning smugly, waved the dagger triumphantly.
A really bad feeling settled in...
"Huh? What? Everyone speechless at my awesomeness?"
Oblivious, Surume peered at our faces.
The ground rumbled—"GOGOGOGO"—as the boulder shook. We dropped to our knees, waiting for it to stop.
With a final violent tremor, the boulder split cleanly where the dagger had been, hurling us to the ground.
"Whoa!"
"Eek!"
"Ouch!"
I sprang up immediately.
Ahead was an unbelievable sight.
From the cracked boulder emerged a skeletal creature, oozing malice. Its hollow eye sockets swirled with dark light, locking onto us. A dinosaur? Like from the museum! And five meters tall!
This is bad. Really bad.
"W-what have you done?!"
Scarlet pointed accusingly at Surume.
That dagger must've sealed *something*.
"Huh? Wha? What's this...?"
"This is..."
Surume and Harshüge were speechless.
"Bone Lizard..."
Ariana muttered, gripping her staff.