Chapter 134. Sprout (3)
‘I was scared.’
I already had a record of failure.
As a consequence of that failure, the twins matured far too quickly.
It began with them learning to gauge adults’ moods and conceal their true feelings rather than expressing them.
‘At some point, they stopped being picky about food.’
On top of that, they started looking for not what they wanted to do but what they could do.
I could never forget the first day they did my laundry.
They were just eleven years old at the time.
Such changes were only natural.
‘I couldn’t handle both parenting and supporting them all by myself.’
But even though I knew it was natural, my heart wasn’t at ease.
Because I had witnessed those uncomfortable changes, I hesitated to try again.
I knew it was practically impossible to safeguard their innocence.
Essentially, I hesitated to act again because I was afraid of failing repeatedly.
“Sigh.”
Confronted with my cowardice, a bitter self-deprecation slipped from my lips.
Still, I couldn’t bring myself to reach out.
Sometimes, reality felt like a wall too high to even look up at, and I knew this better than anyone.
I had experienced it firsthand.
Reality that wouldn’t budge no matter how much I screamed and struggled, and the relentless helplessness that engulfed me while I stood beside it.
‘Especially in Bihar, it’s even more impossible.’
We were at war with monsters whose origin we didn’t know.
How could one protect a child’s innocence in such a world?
It would be better to help them realize the truth as quickly as possible.
In reality, living brutally, coldly, and selfishly was more advantageous.
Offering such pure gratitude was less beneficial than cunningly manipulating adult sympathy.
That was reality.
‘In such a place, what innocence?’
I couldn’t protect their innocence.
‘There’s no need to play a game I’m sure to lose.’
How was this different from the fleeting life of a moth drawn to a flame?
My mind quickly calculated and urged me to make a decision. Implementing that decision wasn’t difficult.
The children expressed their prepared greetings, and I received them.
So, all I had to do was get up, turn my back on them, and go my way. It was a simple task.
Yet when I opened my eyes again, I found myself unable to do that simple task.
“Uh…”
Ilena was watching me anxiously, gauging my reaction.
My hand moved on its own, patting Ilena’s head.
“It’s good to hear you’re okay.”
Though slightly hoarse, it was a seemingly ordinary voice.
That alone should have sufficed, yet insistently.
“If anything happens, tell the priests to contact me. Ask them to pass a message to K.”
“… Huh?”
“You can even contact me when you’re bored.”
Without going into details about the homepage, I simply explained there was a way for us to communicate.
Ilena’s anxious expression vanished, replaced by a full, bright smile.
“Yes!”
I understood that what I was doing was a foolish choice.
As long as reality existed, I would fail again and be trapped in helplessness as a consequence of dreaming of the impossible.
Even knowing this, I was frustrated with myself for choosing it.
Yet, being aware this was an inefficient and foolish act, I couldn’t turn back.
The only thing left for me now was to grit my teeth and strive harder not to repeat past failures.
This time, I hoped that the outcome of this foolish choice instructed by my heart, not my head, would change.
I dwelled on the other name of this senseless choice.
Those who didn’t resign to the impossible and struggled dreamt.
Even knowing what would happen, they couldn’t let go of hope, believing that next time might be different.
People called this hope.
Since the contract for the building to use as a party base hadn’t yet been finalized, I returned to Bennett’s mansion with my party members, all while shouldering a complex sense of emotion.
“Welcome back, K.”
Greeted by us was a sub-butler ranked just below Chandler since Chandler hadn’t returned from the main house.
According to the sub-butler, Rashar, the mansion’s owner, was absent due to a meeting with the Order’s army, and for some reason, Berta hadn’t visited either.
As a result, the mansion was quieter than usual.
Judging by how the silence felt odd, I must have grown accustomed to life here.
When I suddenly recalled this fact and got caught in a strange sentiment, the sub-butler asked.
“Shall I prepare a meal for you?”
Returning right after the morning’s victory ceremony concluded aligned perfectly with lunchtime.
There had already been a prior agreement to have personal maintenance time after returning.
‘It seems more efficient to have it all sorted at once and spend the remaining time separately.’
I intended to go hunting immediately, so going up and then coming down would have been bothersome.
After a moment of consideration, I turned to my party members and asked.
“Isn’t it easier to eat before going up? What do you think?”
“No point in having it brought to separate rooms when we’re in the same place.”
“Meat, always meat!”
Unanimous agreement led us to head to a separate room and await the food.
In the meantime, I decided to organize the rewards obtained this time.
‘First, let’s organize the intangible rewards.’
There were some main scenario rewards that I hadn’t yet received, so I needed to check on them too.
‘Rewards like reputation and achievements are automatically received when messages pop up.’
For mana, I received more attribute mana by selecting that option.
‘Next is the blessings from the gods.’
Yang Taeho and Kim Yul automatically received blessings from the gods affiliated with them.
Like priests and holy knights, they could formally use the god’s authority once.
Initially, I was probably supposed to receive Palao’s blessing, but…
‘Is it another draw again?’
I got a roulette instead.
‘Probably because of the trait, mark of the Alliance.’
Adding to the random boxes I’m continuously aggregating through synthesis, another draw.
‘They just keep messing around with trivialities.’
Both the random box and this roulette were systems based more on luck than effort.
It wasn’t my preferred type, but I couldn’t discard it, so I pressed the draw button.
Whirr whirr whirr.
The cheap sound effects and the flashy effects were all annoying.
However, upon seeing the text at the end, my eyes instinctively widened.
「A ticket for one use of Meferoseta’s authority」
I looked at the ticket that had appeared in my hand along with a bright light.
“Meferoseta…”
Meferoseta was the order that predicted the arrival of players.
Extricating the mysteries associated with that name quickly stirred my mind.
‘The oracle came about a year and five months ago.’
Yet, the number I heard from the system conversation was two years.
‘It was mentioned that two years ago, they planned to connect the server.’
The 7 Great Virtues couldn’t use the existing gate due to something they overlooked.
Since I hadn’t conversed with the system since then, I hadn’t been able to ask what the 7 Great Virtues missed.
However, I distinctly remembered that number.
‘If they planned the server connection two years ago, it means the alliance with the 7 Great Gods and the system was formed before that.’
So why was the oracle about my arrival given after that?
Moreover, the oracle wasn’t delivered by a god but by the apostle of Meferoseta.
‘The 7 Great Gods should be aware of the alliance; why didn’t they convey it to each order and let the apostle say it?’
What if the apostle hadn’t seen the future of my arrival?
As I understood, meferoseta’s authority didn’t allow one to see precisely the desired outcome.
If it could accurately discern and view the needed information, Bihar wouldn’t have ended up this way.
‘Although they explained it as something like seeing what one needs to see…’
Considering the inability to predict the future precisely, it was effectively random.
While apostles could view more of the future without limitation from divine authority,
‘Apostles face side effects instead of restrictions on authority.’
Meferoseta’s priests could speak of the future they saw through authority.
They merely used a power already paid for through sacrifice.
However, apostles who use divine powers without such inherent sacrifice face numerous restrictions.
A classic example is Meferoseta’s apostles dying if they divulge the future they see.
Rashar once explained it as Meferoseta punishing them for breaking the virtue of temperance.
The authority bypasses causal law, thus imposing restrictions on those who use the power without divine blessing.
The explanation is half-right.
‘Rather than Meferoseta punishing for breaking the virtue of temperance, it’s akin to causality intervening for elimination.’
It means apostles must always be wary of causality.
But Rashar, Palao’s apostle, is identifying the intervention of causality as divine punishment.
‘Though the outcome is similar.’
It’s unclear if the 7 Great Gods themselves dealt with the punishment, or if it’s a misinterpretation accumulated over time.
However, seeing that they haven’t proactively clarified it offered a glimpse into the 7 Great Gods’ intentions.
I contemplated offering Rashar accurate clarification related to it but refrained.
I wasn’t certain that the truth was an optimal choice for Rashar.
‘Upon realizing they were deceived by gods they trusted and followed…’
If Rashar had sought to know, maybe, but otherwise, wouldn’t it just end up as an unwarranted revelation for my satisfaction?
Perhaps it might even be a petty reprisal.
‘Because I dislike the 7 Great Gods.’
After all, they’ve always tried to treat me as a mere meat shield, and a desire to retaliate against them lingered in my heart.
Ultimately, when it came to matters involving the 7 Great Gods, I couldn’t completely detach my feelings.
This hesitation lingered.
As long as the hesitation remained, I wouldn’t broach those topics first.
I shook my head to clear it, as if shaking off unnecessary thoughts.
‘Let’s use this authority first.’
Knowing something is better than knowing nothing at all.
I proceeded to use the ticket in my hand.
Promptly, my vision warped and the ground and sky flipped.
As if on a roller coaster, a floating sensation threw my body’s balance off.
“Gulp.”
As nausea threatened to spill, I clamped my hand over my mouth and shut my eyes tightly.
At that moment, the disoriented balance re-stabilized, and my vision brightened.
Even with my eyes closed, I saw a cityscape I’d known all my life.
Black smoke billowed above, and screams hammered against my eardrum.
-Kiyarrr!
An unfamiliar growl.
-Pzzzzzt!
A familiar spark.
-Hey, seol Gi!
-Are you insane?! Do you want to see hyung lose it?! Get over here now!
The furious, shouting face of Kim Yul and a nostalgic shadow beside him.
As the calloused hand yanked the thin arm into his embrace, lightning struck.
Immediately after, the ground flipped again. Having experienced it once, the nausea felt slightly less intense this time.
I subtly furrowed then relaxed my brows, steadying the body’s balance.
Soon, Yang Taeho appeared—boasting a new, long scar from his left cheek that reached his lips.
-Dang, you came again, huh?
And standing before the now scarred Yang Taeho was a man with golden eyes.
‘Apostle?’
Without symbols, it meant he was either an apostle or a priest or holy knight who had just used a blessing.
‘… With that build, he looks like a knight.’
I wanted to observe closely, but time was short.
Before I could scrutinize the man, the ground and sky flipped again.
Shortly after a new scene filled my view, all thought abruptly halted.
The man with golden eyes was clicking his tongue and bending his waist.
-Tsk, what a damned sensitive guy.
He complained with a deeply furrowed brow.
-Beats me why they always offload shady stuff on me. Damn bastards. Just because they’re gods?
Then he hoisted the person who lay sprawled on the ground.
Taking in the face of the person slumped over the stranger’s shoulder, the earth and sky reverted.
As my body’s balance returned to normal, I snapped my eyes open.
‘What…?’
The one the man with golden eyes carried away was undoubtedly me.
Damned System.