Chapter 137
“I’m not crying.”
The answer came out immediately.
However, the voice was strangely cracked.
“But your eyes are swollen….”
“Tears didn’t fall; they just welled up. Absolutely. This can’t be defined as crying. That’s what I think.”
“….”
What am I supposed to do with this prideful person?
Anyway, I decided to cover up the fact that Kim Geum had cried.
People cry sometimes.
Even I, during my Baek Nokha days, spent almost half of my rookie year crying.
It’s okay to cry.
People can cry.
My heart fluttered for a moment, but I decided to stay calm.
“Can we talk for a bit?”
“…Yes.”
Kim Geum immediately lay down on the floor.
Hmm.
How should I interpret this?
Is this a habit of lying on the floor when upset?
Not knowing what to do, I lay down next to Kim Geum.
“Are you upset because we didn’t win today?”
“I’m not upset about not winning. I don’t usually obsess over being number one.”
“…Really?”
I thought you did. Maybe not.
“I wasn’t particularly interested in being number one during the Menucal either. Of course, I said my goal was to be number one, but the ranking itself wasn’t that important. I just wanted to debut.”
I see.
Now that I think about it, that might have been the case.
You were only focused on debuting together, never insisting on being number one.
I was the one obsessed with being number one.
I had to succeed in the mission.
At that moment, I realized just how narrowly I had been focusing.
I kept thinking I needed to take better care of the members, but….
In reality, I had only been fixated on the mission.
“Then what are you upset about?”
“Just… because the lyrics I wrote came in second…. I don’t need to be number one, but… the members probably wanted to be number one.”
Kim Geum’s face looked dejected for the first time ever.
“Everyone tried to hold back earlier, but they shed a few tears.”
It was quite a shock.
The biggest shock was that we were the only ones who could make Kim Geum look dejected.
Feeling down because we might be disappointed.
“Geum.”
This girl…
“Are you an idiot?”
You clearly don’t understand us as much as I do.
“Ouch. Are you attacking me, Cheong-cheong?”
“It’s the only personal attack I can make.”
Kim Geum let out a small laugh.
“Cheong-cheong would probably say it’s not because of the lyrics. She’d say it’s because we’re rookies who haven’t even debuted for two months yet. But I can’t shake the feeling that it’s because of me.”
I see.
I listened to Kim Geum’s words while feeling the warm floor.
Our dorm’s boiler works well.
“No. The reason we didn’t come in first… isn’t because we just debuted.”
“!”
Kim Geum, who had been staring blankly at the ceiling, turned her head toward me for the first time.
“I don’t like excessive self-blame, but… I also don’t like such rationalizations. The reason we didn’t come in first isn’t because we’ve only been debuting for two months.”
“…Then what is it?”
“The reason we didn’t come in first.”
I recalled the day I failed my first audition.
The day I cried my way home after being rejected by every major entertainment company.
The moment I was released from a small agency that barely accepted me, but didn’t make it to the debut team.
“It’s simply because we weren’t good enough to be number one.”
At first, I thought it was just bad luck.
Then I thought it was because the world didn’t recognize me.
But in the end, I had to admit it.
“MaxBurning was the team destined to win today… and we simply weren’t there yet.”
I was just not the right person at that moment, in that place.
“Because of my lyrics—”
“But if you ask if it’s your fault. It’s not.”
I don’t know why it was so hard to admit that.
It’s really nothing.
“I think your lyrics meant a lot to both us and the fans. Some people say those who stay silent win. Idols are professionals, so they must stay silent and endure. I understand what that means. But if everyone stays silent, the world doesn’t change.”
Kim Geum didn’t just muster up courage for herself.
She did it for all of us.
“But I don’t want my choices to disadvantage the team.”
“Disadvantage? Why do you think it’s a disadvantage? That itself is a misunderstanding.”
I moved to Kim Geum’s head and started massaging her scalp.
So many worries in this small head.
“Because you wrote such refreshing lyrics, we were able to gain votes from not only fans but also the general public. While there might be some negative comments online, most people said they felt relieved, that they were glad you spoke up for them.”
Kim Geum closed her eyes and entrusted her head to me.
I intentionally applied pressure.
Hoping each worry would be crushed by my hands.
“And the reason we held back our tears today might be because we felt sorry for each other?”
It was easier when I was working solo.
After becoming a group, admitting it became so difficult.
Because…
It was easy to acknowledge my own shortcomings.
But admitting the shortcomings of “us” was incredibly hard.
“Everyone probably thinks they didn’t win because of themselves. Should I try guessing what the members are thinking?”
“Uh… go ahead.”
Kim Geum’s eyes were trembling.
Was my words getting through…?
“Baek-young unnie probably thinks she should have executed the killing part better and that it’s her fault. Bo-ra is probably thinking she should have put more emotion into it. And Juhong? Juhong likely thinks she didn’t do anything right. That she ruined everything on her own.”
“Eh. That’s just nonsense.”
“That’s how we see your thoughts right now.”
I laughed.
“The thought that we didn’t win because of your lyrics… is the most nonsensical one to us. Do you know why?”
“…Because the lyrics weren’t that bad?”
“The lyrics are the main reason we even got second place. Without you, we would’ve been third.”
“Come on.”
“I’m serious.”
“Come on… that’s just you thinking that, Cheong-cheong.”
Really?
You still think that way.
I got up and opened the door.
“Oh my.”
“…Ahem.”
“How did you know we were here?!”
The door had been oddly creaking for a while now….
“What do you all think? Us getting second place, wasn’t it thanks to the lyrics?”
“Isn’t that obvious?! I think those lyrics carried us by the collar.”
“I actually loved Geum’s lyrics. Fans said they were inspired by Geum’s interview and voted harder.”
“…Well. I don’t think the lyrics had any negative impact.”
Seriously, Ryu Bo-ra.
Look at her blushing by herself.
One by one, the members started to sneak into the room, gathering around Kim Geum.
“Geum.”
I lay down next to Kim Geum again.
“What’s the big deal about first place? Just cry.”
“….”
“Getting first place is nice, but if you don’t, it’s no big deal. Not everyone can always be number one. Right?”
“That’s true.”
“It might be a little disappointing for you since you’ve always been first wherever you go…. But in reality, the world is naturally made up of ranks below first place.”
Kim Geum stayed silent for a moment.
“But.”
“?!”
I put my head on Kim Geum’s stomach.
Hmm.
It’s worth making this girl work out.
“Let’s get first place next time. We are a group with Kim Geum.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Exactly. We have the rare Kim Geum in our group.”
“Not silver but gold, so let’s get a gold medal.”
The members all agreed with my words.
It’s reassuring at times like this.
“Of course, since Steel Blue has Kim Geum, we can definitely get first place.”
Yes.
We can do it.
“Cheong-cheong, by the way.”
Kim Geum suddenly asked.
“Then why do you think we didn’t get first place? You talked about the other members, but not about yourself.”
Ah.
That’s a bit of a tricky question.
“Well. I don’t have such thoughts. I’m perfect.”
“….”
“….”
“….”
“….”
Haha.
I really should keep my answer a secret.
***
After confirming that the members were chatting and laughing with Kim Geum.
I quietly left the room.
Because there was something I needed to do.
Kim Geum seemed fine.
The other members were with her.
So… now I had to do what only I could do.
*Ding!*
[MOMENT: The super rookie girl group, ‘IN11’, to appear on <Dear My Diva>?!]
[‘IN11’s’ Dahin confirmed to appear on <Dear My Diva>. A new breeze is blowing.]
[Steel Blue’s Yoon Cheong VS IN11’s Dahin?! Who will win the rookie girl group main vocal battle?]
Hmm.
So this is how it goes.
The future changed because the schedule for <Dear My Diva> got delayed.
Originally, IN11’s member, Dahin, wasn’t supposed to appear on <Dear My Diva>.
That’s how I remember it.
But the future has changed.
A head-on battle between the most notable rookie girl group main vocals.
They’ll probably generate a huge buzz with this provocative title.
Us?
No.
Them.
The more IN11 positions themselves as our rivals, the more recognition they gain, so it’s an unconditional benefit for them.
The most important thing for rookies is gaining recognition.
The problem is us.
It doesn’t feel good for nobodies to easily hitch a ride on our recognition.
We need to cut them off at an appropriate point.
How should we cut them off?
Hmm.
I planned to use two methods.
The first method – competing with skill.
Since they keep talking about a head-on battle.
We’ll really face them head-on.
We need to win on <Dear My Diva> to make it clear that they can’t even be our rivals.
The problem is….
[<Search Lens> purchase completed!]
[Current points: 1,400 points]
[Using <Search Lens> on ‘Dahin (IN11)’!]
[Searching the opponent’s abilities….]
### Dahin (IN11)
**Singing:** 99/100
**Dancing:** 84/100
**Appearance:** 91/100
**Charisma:** 92/100
**Variety Sense:** 78/100
**Personal Special Ability:**
?? (88/100)
**Recommended Development Ability:**
Singing
??
Her stats are overwhelmingly impressive.
### Yoon Cheong (Baek Nokha)
**Singing:** 99/100
**Dancing:** 90/100
**Appearance:** 94/100
**Charisma:** 96/100
**Variety Sense:** 64/100
**Personal Special Ability:**
Composing and Writing Lyrics (97/100)
Leadership (88/100)
**Recommended Development Ability:**
Leadership
These are my current abilities.
They’re slightly higher than Dahin’s, but the difference is minimal.
Actually, Dahin is amazing.
These are the abilities I’ve accumulated over ten years, but Dahin has this level of skill from the time of her debut.
It’s a remarkable talent.
It’s almost infuriating that such talent is being wasted by hoarding and media play.
The company is at fault.
It’s not her fault.
Still….
I intend to win no matter what.
And I’m confident I can.
‘By the way.’
It’s time to start preparing.
I opened the group chat.
**Steel Blue**
Hey everyone,
Tomorrow we’re having a meeting for the next album,
So dream up some concepts.