“Tilly?”
“Yeah, you idiot. Seeing you and Tilly together makes me wonder if you two are planning to set up house or something.”
“You’re talking nonsense.”
“… Did it sound like nonsense?”
“Quite.”
“Heh. I’m not just saying it. Everyone else says the same thing.”
Set up house, my foot.
I ignored his increasing nonsense and glanced over.
“What, are you gonna hit me?”
The guy smiled slyly, trying to look mischievous, but he couldn’t hide the twitching of his eyes from the pain. After all, if you had a hole the size of a head in your abdomen, you’d have to be a barbarian to be fine.
“Kenel.”
“Don’t call me that. It’s creepy… Just call me Jaggy like you usually do, you damned barbarian.”
“… You bastard.”
“Heh.”
Kenel, or Jaggy, was the first companion I made in this ‘Midland.’
Of course, I had teamed up with many others before. However, partnering with medieval folks who saw barbarian as mere targets to exploit usually ended the same way—with someone’s skull split by an axe or a neck broken.
“Heh. Why the long face? You’re already ugly enough. Anyway, I was going to die back then.”
‘Back then’ referred to when I first met Jaggy.
It was the day I went hunting alone, having learned the hard way that you couldn’t trust anyone. I saved Jaggy, who had been abandoned by his comrades and dragged alive into a monster’s lair, and helped him exact his revenge. Naturally, we started traveling together, and before I knew it, we were companions.
“Tch. You look like an orc’s cousin… Just go already! I don’t want to look at your ugly face till I die. If only Tilly were here, at least I’d have a pretty face to look at while dying.”
His grumbling face didn’t show any resentment. That made it harder to know what expression to show. Am I sad now? Not a single tear was falling. I knew without looking in the mirror that there was no expression on my face.
What does Jaggy mean by a long face?
“Alright. Take care, Jaggy.”
“Yeah. If you marry Tilly, pour me a drink.”
“… I’ll think about it.”
I didn’t know. I didn’t know, so I just left.
“Kenel is dead?”
“Yeah.”
“Shit.”
The guy who first spat out a curse at the news of our comrade’s death was Flang, the party’s shield-bearer. Flang, who was roughly my size and had dark skin, was rough but the most affectionate. When our journey ends and we return to the city, he might cry alone.
“How did he die?”
“It was a trap. As soon as we entered a large room, his stomach was pierced by black magic.”
“Kenel, that idiot…”
“Hey! Idiot? How can you say that about a dead comrade! Cheph!”
“What, should I praise him for dying because he couldn’t avoid a trap? You dull Flang?”
“You said enough!”
Even though Flang, who was a head and a half taller, threatened him, cheph sneered at Kenel’s death.
“What? Want to fight?”
“Why not!”
“Stop it. You slowpoke. You can’t even scratch me.”
Cheph’s confidence wasn’t unfounded. There was a reason he was called the flying squirrel. Cheph, who skillfully handled two daggers of different lengths, specialized in mocking his enemies with his swift movements.
But that didn’t seem to matter to Flang, whose rage had clouded his judgment.
“Damn it! Today, one of us is going to die!”
“Fine. I’ll put a hole in your neck…”
“Stop it.”
In the end, it fell on me to break up the fight. With Jaggy gone, there was no one else to take on that role. However, it seemed like Flang and Cheph couldn’t hear my voice. I stomped my foot with all my strength and spoke again.
“Stop.”
The shock was so great that the dark mage’s dungeon trembled, and Flang and Cheph turned their heads. But the still-seething guys grimaced at the sight of my face and backed off.
What the hell is wrong with them?
I was ready to use force if necessary, but they backed off so easily it left me feeling uneasy. Why did they react like that just from seeing my face?
“Is something wrong?”
At that moment, a welcome voice came from deeper within the dark mage’s workshop. It was a clear voice that lightened the heavy atmosphere. Tilly.
Everyone’s eyes, which had been looking in different directions, turned to her simultaneously.
With her eerily dark hair and slightly yellow-tinged eyes, she had features that seemed sculpted by a master artisan and skin so fair it was hard to believe she was a wandering mercenary. She was Tilly Ashanumos, the mage responsible for our party’s firepower and the only woman in the group.
“Tilly.”
“What’s with your expression?”
What’s wrong with my expression?
If the party members weren’t watching, I might have asked that. But it wasn’t the time, so I calmly stated the fact. Jaggy’s death.
“It’s my fault.”
“What nonsense is that?”
“Failing to detect the dark mage’s trap is the fault of the party’s only mage. No matter what anyone says, that doesn’t change. Cheph.”
“Tilly. It’s not your fault. It’s not Kenel’s fault either. This is just… an accident that mercenaries inevitably face.”
Flang’s words were true.
Everything—the party splitting up due to the dark mage’s trap, me and Jaggy being left without magical detection capabilities, Jaggy falling into a trap—was something mercenaries eventually experience. The death of a comrade or even oneself.
But at the same time, it was wrong.
The reason Jaggy died was because of me.
The funeral for Jaggy was simple.
What kind of funeral can you hold with people who don’t even understand why a funeral is necessary? We couldn’t retrieve his body from the dark mage’s dungeon, so we just poured his cherished liquor around the entrance and buried the bottle.
Then we were busy sorting out the spoils from this expedition. The dark mage had considerable wealth and many cursed items that needed to be dealt with by the church, so we were busy running around, and before I knew it, it was night.
After quickly sorting out the items, the party headed to their respective rooms. We had to get up early the next day to move to the next city, so we needed to sleep. But an unexpected visitor made me get up from bed.
It was Tilly.
“You look troubled.”
She started speaking directly, and I responded just as directly: it’s my fault.
“If it’s about Kenel…”
“No, it’s not your fault.”
“Khan.”
“I was the one who decided to take down this dark mage. I was the one who found the clues about him, and I discovered he was researching ancient treasures. All of it was me.”
Specifically, it was knowledge of the future gained from the game that led me to deal with a future named monster. In short, Jaggy’s death was due to my misjudgment.
‘I thought it would be doable.’
His strength came from that ‘ancient treasure’. I figured it would be manageable if he hadn’t finished his research, and I was right. His current strength was something I could handle. But that fact led to Jaggy’s death.
When I first met Jaggy and the others, our strengths were roughly equal, making it hard to determine who was stronger. But as time passed and I reaped the benefits of leveling up, I began to outpace them rapidly. Now, everyone knew I was the strongest in the party.
But no one ever said it out loud.
Excessive dependence ultimately leads to the breakdown of relationships. So, to avoid giving the impression that they relied on Khan for protection, they all pushed themselves. Jaggy was the same, and that led to his death.
“I was afraid of being alone again. It’s laughable.”
Living in relationships with many people in the modern world, it’s not easy to suddenly become a paragon of distrust after being thrown into the middle ages. No matter how much I pretended to be used to solitude, acted like I was fine alone, inside, I was rotting. Isn’t it natural to hold on to connections you find in a world where even kindness is repaid with malice?
Such weak thoughts eventually led to this disaster. So it’s my fault, and we reached the inevitable breakdown.
“I should have disbanded the party the moment the power gap started to widen. It would have been better for me and for us. No, it’s not too late now. I believe you’ll understand me, Tilly.”
“Of course.”
Tilly slowly approached and hugged my head tightly.
“I know you have a goal and that you’re moving towards it. I know that path is very difficult and will become even more dangerous.”
If she was as smart as I thought, she would have noticed long ago that I was seeking ancient knowledge and mythological records. Maybe she even foresaw the current situation…
“Don’t worry.”
She hugged my head, leaning her frail body against me. The sweet scent, reminiscent of flowers, stopped my thoughts, and I didn’t resist. Then she whispered.
“I’ll take care of everything. So you can move forward without hesitation.”
If it were that easy, this wouldn’t have happened, Tilly. Normally, I would have responded that way, but for some reason, I couldn’t speak.
It was just a night when I didn’t want to do anything.
***
I felt unusually refreshed. It was the first time I’d had a sound sleep since arriving in this world. It must mean I was exhausted both mentally and physically. Forcing down a bitter smile that played on my lips, I opened the door and headed downstairs.
Having rented the entire inn, dawdling would mean missing breakfast. More importantly, I needed to have a serious conversation with my party members, so I hurriedly stepped onto the stairs to the first floor.
“……?”
I sensed something strange the moment I arrived at the dining room on the first floor. There was no sign of anyone. Had they already finished eating and left? But it didn’t seem like they had eaten separately.
Huh?
“Blood?”
It was no illusion. The scent of blood coming from the closed dining room was unmistakable.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
My heart began to pound in response to the ominous scent of blood. Yet, my hand, as if drawn by a magnet, pushed open the door, and I had to see with my own eyes what the source of the blood scent was. Flang and Cheph were lying on the floor. Blood pooled around them, staining the wooden floor a deep red and forming a puddle.
‘Why?’
That was my first thought. Why were they lying on the floor when they were fine just yesterday? Did they really have a knife fight? Or were we attacked by mercenaries who held a grudge against us…?
My mind was in chaos when suddenly, the scent of flowers amidst the blood snapped me back to reality. Tilly─!
Thump! Thump! Thump!
My already racing heart now felt like it was going to burst. As I confirmed Tilly standing unharmed beyond the bodies of Flang and Cheph, my excitement subsided, and my heart sank.
“You’re here? Look.”
She smiled brightly, like a child seeking praise for her actions, her hands stained with blood. And at the sight of her blood-soaked hands, I realized why Flang and Cheph had died.
To sever my lingering attachments, Tilly had erased the source of those attachments from this world. And now, she stood before me to eliminate the last remaining attachment.
“Only one thing is left holding you back.”
With the hands that killed Flang and Cheph, she took my hand and smiled.
“Go ahead.”
Kill me.
TL’s Corner:
We see Khan’s early days in Midland quest, and it’s pretty heartbreaking.