Chapter 14
Someone—anyone—please praise me for not screaming, for not even flinching, and for replying calmly without stammering.
I said it—no, I managed to say it.
"What do you mean?"
By the way, in my head it was more like, Wh-wh-wh-what do you mean? Erika Solnzari let out a hesitant sigh and said this to me.
Stop. Please stop with the sighing. My heart can't take it, seriously.
"I killed someone."
*
Without waiting for my reply, she began to speak.
"It was my first time."
Yet her voice didn't carry any hint of regret.
If anything, it might have been confusion.
"But I don't really feel it. I thought it was a monster."
Just so you know, monsters and demons are different.
Many people who have never seen a demon confuse the two, but anyone who has seen one will tell you without exception—they're not the same.
Even when facing a monster, you don't feel that intense revulsion you get when facing a demon.
Of course, Erika Solnzari is a marquis's daughter. She probably never even faced a monster before.
At the academy, real combat doesn't come until the fourth year.
The only experience with taking a life might be killing livestock with your own sword as part of an assignment.
"Even now, after you told me it used to be human, to be honest, I still can't really grasp it."
Erika Solnzari lightly shook her head.
"It's not that I doubt you, you know? It just feels kind of rude to say I don't feel anything after killing someone."
Saying that, she searched the air as if looking for words that wouldn't come together.
Seeing her profile, the words came out naturally.
"It was my first time too, Erika Solnzari."
I looked up at the night sky and closed my eyes.
I pictured the faces of the three men I killed today.
They were all ordinary, the kind of guys you'd find anywhere.
They didn't even look particularly evil—just guys you'd see around town.
"But I don't regret it."
I say that with certainty—and I can say it with certainty.
"Because I protected you. Because I chose to protect you."
If you're a noble, let me say this.
Whether you're aware of it or not, one day someone will die because of a decision you make.
Whether it's ordering a criminal's execution, or sacrificing the few for the many—you can't escape it.
But that day will come for sure.
As a second son with no inheritance, I probably wasn't likely to make such decisions directly.
Still, when the house decides, those who belong to it bear the weight of that decision and its consequences.
But I wasn't some clueless first-timer who didn't even have that awareness.
I chose, of my own will, to protect Erika Solnzari—because I wanted to protect her.
There was no regret in that.
Even remembering the faces of the three men I killed today, I still don't regret my first time.
It might just be a selfish thought, but even so, I don't want her to feel uncertain about it either.
"What were you thinking when you swung your sword back then?"
I looked at her and asked.
Her eyes, which had been wandering in the air, locked onto mine.
Erika Solnzari thought for a moment, then gave a wry little smile.
"That I had to protect the driver... and the bodyguard who looked exhausted."
"Technically, it was the driver-bodyguard and my husband," she added with a laugh.
"If that's the case—"
I said, to tell her that her decision and its result weren't born from ambiguity.
"Then I should be the one thanking you. Erika Solnzari, thank you for swinging your sword for me."
A brief silence, followed by a small nod.
Then, after that, she turned to face me and replied, "You're welcome."
"Then allow me to thank you as well, Shin Longdagger. Thanks to your sword, the dew upon my path has been cleared away."
"Even now——" she added, smiling.
"Oh, that reminds me."
Erika Solnzari said this as if she had just remembered something, right as we both turned our gaze back toward the town, feeling a strange kind of embarrassment.
"Shin Longdagger, I assumed you were using my full name as a declaration of resolve, so I followed suit... but honestly, it's a bit of a hassle."
I realized she had misunderstood something in a rather strange way.
I don't know what kind of resolve she thinks is behind it, but it has nothing to do with that.
I'm just too embarrassed to call her Erika.
No way. I can't call her by name.
"From now on, I'll call you Shin. You should call me Erika too."
Isn't that a bit too hard?
Before I could clear up the misunderstanding, the difficulty level suddenly spiked, and I was terrified.
"I don't mean to ignore your resolve or feelings—this is just how I want to go into the year ahead——"
"Erika."
I said it on impulse.
I said it.
A strange silence fell over the balcony.
You told me to call you that, so don't go quiet when I do. I'm dying of embarrassment here.
"Yes, let's go with that, Shin."
She broke the silence with a smile—Erika Solnzari, no, Erika—shining with golden mana.
"And besides, I was wrong."
Erika said with a teasing smile.
"I'm no longer a Solnzari. I belong to Longdagger now. If we're being proper, it should be Erika Longdagger, husband dear."
Saying that, she walked away from the balcony.
That was close......
I almost jumped off the balcony.
That night.
Every time I remembered her calling me husband while I lay in bed, I almost started thrashing around.
From the next bed over, I could hear her tossing and turning wildly, making it hard to fall asleep.
So she actually sleeps pretty restlessly, huh.