EP.94 27. Merry Christmas.
***
I once saw a sentence like that in a book I read a long time ago.
‘You can’t hold anything if you don’t open your hands.’
If you want to get everything, you have to be prepared to give up everything. In a way, a commonplace and trite short maxim.
The end of the end.
“Licht.”
At the moment I was about to give up my life for the last time, the light that had saved my life had once again arrived at my feet.
“Saintess, how on earth did you get here….”
Honestly, I had no complaints. I met many good people at Grand Hearts Academia, and
“Your scent, way of speaking, body temperature. They’re all the same.”
I made unforgettable memories, and protected other students from the Demon Lords’ schemes.
I tried to help couples like Dennis and the Heavenly Demon, and Kainel and Ariel.
Various farces occurred because I mistook Mardol for the Crown Prince, but still, it wasn’t a bad few months.
“..So you really are that little guy.”
I could confidently say that I was the happiest during the 5 years I possessed the game. Actually, I was sad that I couldn’t meet our Saintess before I left.
“Licht… I was worried.”
I couldn’t have dreamed of a reunion like this. No, it makes sense since it’s already in a nightmare.
“Huhu, I can tell even if your face and body are different.”
A slightly high tone, a huhu laughter, a tail wagging as if happy, and cute wolf ears lying back.
The figure that looked like the Nameless Saintess hugged me and softly opened her mouth. With the bloodstreams of me and her being close, it felt as if they were connected and became one.
“I know it’s you too.”
My heart started beating like crazy when I saw the pure white her in front of me. Clearly, the beating in my heart, which had been static and quiet until just now,
‘..Even if it’s a dying man’s flashback, it’s fine.’
As if starting an engine, like lighting a fire on firewood.
‘Even if it’s a hallucination, it’s fine.’
It surged, adding weight to the emotion. Hey idiot. Calm down a bit. My fingertips trembled, and tears welled up in my eyes.
“..Are you hurt?”
I was bothered by the burns visible all over her body. Is it because of the Apostle’s attack? Why is the trauma so realistic? Don't hurt this person.
“No, I’m not hurt.”
I was just so sorry that she fought the fire to save me even at this moment and got hurt.
“Don’t lie.”
I looked straight at her slightly burned face and made eye contact for a moment.
“I got caught. I thought you were so clueless you wouldn’t know.”
“I’m not that much of an idiot.”
Golden wolf eyes shone as if cutting through the darkness. Cold-looking but pretty eyes.
“You are an idiot, aren’t you?”
“Why am I an idiot?”
Soft-looking, glossy pure white hair, a subtle rose scent.
“You only like breasts. Pervert Licht.”
“No. I’m not that kind of person….”
Actually, it would be normal for the Saintess to not know me since it would be the first time she saw me. Thinking about Servi from before, it was very contradictory.
“Don’t lie.”
“…”
‘It’s because it’s you that I like. I’m not interested in other women.’ I held back the words that were stuck in my throat because they were too perverted. I exercised my right to remain silent.
“..Besides, Licht.”
Seeing this now, it must be my last wish being seen in the dream environment.
“You were trying to die alone again, weren’t you. Am I wrong?”
“..That’s right.”
“Don’t do that. It’s bad.”
People have a unique atmosphere. I felt a sense of nostalgia somewhere. The person who always scolded me when I tried to make the wrong choice like this.
[Sir Knight, did you leave the party without permission again to protect people in advance? Let’s move together..!]
It’s definitely her, whom I’ve always longed for in my memories.
The entrance time zone of <Grand Hearts Academia> is a prequel with a 5-year time difference in the original work, and a 10-year time difference in the sequel.
‘I wanted to go to the academy with the Saintess too much. A white nun’s habit instead of an academy uniform.’
It wasn’t hard to understand why she appeared in such a slightly younger form. Isn’t I also a young child experiencing trauma now?
“Let’s go out together now.”
“..Okay.”
I took her hand. The difference in size. A soft and white woman’s hand. The moment my fingertips touched, my body flinched as if an electric current was flowing, and
“Huhu, Licht, your face is red.”
My face flushed. I wanted to hide in a rat hole. I’m pretty sure she was a wolf character.
The Saintess, who was lifting me up now, was giving off a captivating smile like a fox.
“It’s because it’s hot.”
“It’s winter now? It’s terribly cold here because there’s no fire magic either….”
Unlike the way our Saintess spoke, she was speaking informally. I’ve definitely heard that way of speaking somewhere, but I was too embarrassed and my brain’s thoughts stopped.
I was already enjoying a midsummer night’s Christmas, and it didn’t matter even if this was a trap.
“I’m hot. Saintess.”
I hated the most that the her in front of me would disappear now.
***
Phine Gransia could recognize the younger Licht at a glance.
Actually, it was the first time seeing his bare face, and even the burn marks that could distinguish him from others were gone, so if a third party saw him, they might have passed him by.
However, she instinctively realized it by looking at his polite way of speaking, his unique smell, and his slightly cold hands.
Moreover, Phine also thought that his brown eyes looked cooler than the humans of this world. The eyes she glimpsed in his helmet at the moment of the final battle with Magic Hat.
It was the eyes of the Dark Knight who didn’t hesitate to burn everything, even his own life, to save people like herself.
Surely there shouldn’t be much of a difference, but why does it feel so special?
However, she also had a slight complaint. While she was getting out of the burning hospital in search of Licht.
“Saintess, it’s that way.”
“Yeah, I know. Licht.”
Just like last time, she’s the one who came to save the Licht in front of her now, but why is this man only looking for the woman called Saintess again? She felt a small annoyance.
‘..Does the me in Licht’s eyes look like the someone called the Nameless Saintess?’
This is his trauma. In other words, it’s a reproduction of a person’s heart and memories as they are.
For this reason, it made sense if he could recognize her as the most precious person. The boy she saw a little while ago also only mentioned her white hair, not her wolf ears, when he saw her.
‘Annoying..’
Phine bit her lower lip in jealousy. The white fangs unique to the Inurang tribe were revealed.
“Let’s go to the stairs over there. The main building is probably open.”
Her brows narrowed. She was definitely running towards the exit, cutting through the black smoke, but one corner of her heart and all her nerves were elsewhere.
“..Saintess?”
Seeing her like that, the young Licht widened his eyes and asked. Surely the face hidden in the helmet also looked like this, right?
“I’ll let it slide just this once, Licht.”
“Yes? What do you mean?”
Looking at the boy, who was bewildered because he didn’t know the reason, a curve unknowingly formed on her lips. Maybe even that Saintess person didn’t know about Licht’s appearance like this.
‘I won.’
With the feeling that she had won, a sense of satisfaction bloomed in her heart.
As such, Phine carried Licht and ran, and also avoided the hot heat and fire together, and right before the two men and women left the hospital.
“..Huh?”
“It’s blocked, Licht.”
Unlike what the man had said, the large glass door that seemed to be the last stronghold was unable to be opened due to the debris of the broken building.
***
I felt a sense of incongruity from the concrete and steel frames blocking the hospital’s main gate.
‘This can’t be.’
I definitely escaped to the outside through here in the past, and I know that the firefighters also came through the entrance of the main building when they came to put out the fire.
“..Cough. Licht, it’s okay. I..!”
“No. You’ve inhaled too much.. smoke.”
The Platinum Wolf was struggling to clear the large debris, but it was already impossible given her breathing and condition.
Why on earth? If someone had to die, only I had to die. At least let my precious person live.
“..Damn it.”
I felt self-loathing. Am I not able to do anything, now or in the past?
‘No, it’s different from the past.’
The Nameless Saintess is by my side. Although she’s wearing an academy uniform and is slightly different from my memories, she is the person herself.
“Just hold on a little longer..”
“Licht?!”
I widened my eyes and faced the fire situation. Cold sweat flowed.
It was already hard to breathe, but it was getting harder and harder to breathe. I forcibly moved my trembling feet and walked forward.
“I believe in love.”
When I activated the fake Holy Sword, a drop of water fell from the ceiling, and a cobalt-colored sword was created in front of my feet.
‘I can’t make it rain because it’s indoors. In that case..!’
Unfortunately, it doesn’t rain. I can’t activate the teleportation ability either.
I reached out towards the flames that were burning fiercely. This is like my inner world. Because of that, there was one thing I could do better than anyone else.
‘Heart Sword. I just need to draw out a new Heart Sword from my heart.’
Our Saintess, whom I’ve been looking for so much, is by my side now. I can’t lose this person in the fire like this.
‘I can’t change the past. But I can change the present.’
This situation isn’t the trauma I remembered. I don’t know if it’s fate or coincidence, but there’s someone next to me who I can believe in and rely on.
“Saintess, bad memories aren’t overcome alone… but together.”
I turned around and bluffed. If our Saintess is here, I can go near this much fire any number of times. I would jump into hellfire for her sake.
“People are weak, but they can rely on each other.”
I smiled brightly at her while holding the sword. At that moment,
“Licht… your body.. back to normal?”
“Oh, it’s true.”
The sight that had been low all along became higher. I was surprised and touched my face, and even the bumpy burn marks were back.
‘I didn’t want to show such an ugly appearance to the Saintess. I can’t help it.’
My breathing returned to normal a little. I was still scared of the fire, but I wasn’t such a coward that I couldn’t make an escape route for her.
My love for the Saintess was greater than this fire.
“..I believe in love.”
A burst of laughter came out. As expected, pure love is invincible. Once again, I chanted the incantation to call the Holy Sword.
Koo-oong!
Making a sound, a black structure like a lever fell from the ceiling. A sword that looks like a glossy, sophisticated machine.
No, is this really a sword? As if to be stuck somewhere. It only took the shape of a sword with only the end part to be pulled sharp.
“The first sword was Faith. Kiyu, so… The name of the second sword is.”
The past is the past. It’s like an indelible scar. In the end, what can be changed is the future, and it is myself in the present that does it.
It was time to say goodbye to the old memories. It was right to keep feeling guilty, but because of that, no other innocent person should get hurt.
“Old Thought, Reminiscence.”
I hugged the Saintess, who was looking at the Heart Sword with curiosity and perking up her ears next to me.
“Hold on tight. It’s going to shake a little.”
“O-okay.”
The pure white tail changed into the shape of an exclamation mark. It’s fascinating. Is this a characteristic of canine animals?
Clang.
I pulled Old Thought. Then the Heart Sword made a mechanical sound as if a sophisticated device was moving, making the sound kugugung-.
‘It said 「Stage Select」… on the bottom.’
I noticed it after seeing these letters from the beginning. That if I pull this, I can get out of this hospital.
“..Licht? What did you do?”
It’s probably an ability that randomly changes the terrain. In an instant, the surrounding scenery began to change as if a roulette wheel was spinning.
“It’s just a common skill.”
It’s obvious to select a map before starting a game, right? There wasn’t even a reason to explain it further to our Saintess.
***
That’s how the two of us moved to the outside of the hospital. It works.
“..Are you okay. Saintess.”
“…”
“Saintess? Are you okay?!”
“..Huh?, U-uh, I’m okay. Licht.”
That’s a relief. I thought she had lost consciousness because she had no reaction even when I called her. I checked that she was safe and released the hug.
“..Snow.”
“It’s a white Christmas. Even though it’s a day late.”
“What does that mean?”
Small and cute snowflakes falling from the sky.
“There is such a thing. It’s similar.”
It was exactly like the pure white her in front of me. Like a carp bread, the white snow falls on Christmas with the Nameless Saintess.
On a blessed weather, on a blessed date,
“..Nice to meet you for the first time. Saintess.”
A blessed person who always has to be happy was standing in front of me.
I recited the lines I had wanted to say so much since I had some leeway. Even if it’s a midsummer night’s dream, even if it’s a fleeting illusion that will disappear when I open my eyes.
“It’s not our first time. Licht.”
“Haha, I guess so?”
I did my best so that no regrets would remain. But the way she speaks is too similar to someone I know. Who was it….
“..Soo-hyun hyung? Is that you, hyung?”
“Kim Youngmin..?”
It was then. A young child in a wheelchair approached us. Wheel marks forming on the slightly snow-covered field.
“Thank goodness! The Santa noona saved me..!”
The young child wearing a red beanie was giving me a bright smile while looking at me. How can this child be so innocent and kind.
“You recognize me? Youngmin..?”
“Of course~! But you suddenly became an adult..?”
He recognized me even though my face was scarred and ugly, and my height and body had changed beyond recognition.
“Ah, I know! Soo-hyun hyung was a superhero from TV!”
“..There’s no way.”
I shook my head. The lower lip was pulled horizontally, and the emotions that had been hidden burst out.
“I’m not like that. Youngmin. What kind of hero can’t even protect one child.”
“Hyung, are you crying..?”
“I’m sorry. Youngmin. I’m really.. sorry..”
My knees automatically fell to the floor. I gave the child in front of me an apology I couldn’t give. I apologized several times, even though it wouldn’t be conveyed now.
“Hyung! Don’t cry! Stop!”
The child was patting the adult’s shoulder and urging him to stop crying. I don’t know what our Saintess would think of me, but I was definitely a hideous and dirty human.
“..I’m sorry for not being good enough, hyung.”
I was happy with the relief that I had barely protected him, and I felt disgusted with myself for being able to change the past like this.
“It’s okay. Soo-hyun hyung.. I don’t know what’s going on….”
“…”
“..It’s not hyung’s fault. After all, I got out of the hospital like this thanks to hyung!”
The boy in the wheelchair grabbed my hand and spoke. Fortunately, he looked perfectly fine without any injuries.
“Actually, I was wondering what was in the gift bundle behind the Christmas tree, so I was going to sneak into the grand auditorium at night…. But I was more curious about Rudolf!”
The boy scratched the back of his head awkwardly and told me the truth about the incident. So that’s what happened. This time, it must have changed because I was going to sacrifice myself instead.
“So there’s no need to feel too guilty. Soo-hyun hyung.”
Even if the past cannot be changed, I may have wanted to hear these one or two words.
The story that it’s not his fault.
It won’t be a complete absolution, and I’ll probably continue to live with guilt, but.
“The firefighters said… that place is completely destroyed now.”
“..That’s a relief. Actually, there was no Rudolf.”
I finally felt relieved and sighed. At that moment, the boy named Youngmin looked at me and shouted, covering his mouth in surprise.
“Why isn’t there when Santa noona is here? She’s right next to you!”
Wait, what..? Only our Saintess is next to me now? I felt a sense of incongruity and looked up.
“Hello. Little boy.”
“Hello! Santa noona! We just saw you..!”
The Nameless Saintess was waving her hand to the boy in the wheelchair.
“..Yeah, is this person’s name Soo-hyun hyung?”
Wait, I feel like I’m about to remember something. That way of speaking and the warm way of acting that seems cold.
“No! It’s Lee Soo-hyun, to be exact!”
“Understood. I’ll remember it.”
Unlike our Saintess, the person who doesn’t call me by the title ‘Sir Knight’, or even by the name Lee Soo-hyun.
No way, no way…. No. It can’t be.
“..Licht. So your name was Lee Soo-hyun.”
“Saintess. You are our Saintess, right..? It’s not what I’m thinking, right?”
I took a step back. As far as I know, there’s only one person like that.
The noble Glass Knight. Mardol Gransia.
She who liked cute and sweet things.
Come to think of it, I kept getting the feeling that I had seen it somewhere. Actually, what if she wasn’t a black-haired Inurang? The assumption swirled in my head like a vortex.
“No, I’m not the person called Saintess.”
“Are you perhaps Mardol….”
“..That’s not actually my real name either. Licht.”
The pure white her shook her head and denied.
The white ears and tail were slightly lowered, and the golden sparkling beautiful wolf eyes were looking at me as if piercing through me.
“This.. is still the Apostle of Gluttony’s dream, right..? Tell me it is. Please..!!”
“Licht.. I’m not your dream. I’m the real me outside….”
It felt too realistic. In the first place, dreams are based on my subconscious.
There’s no way I would have noticed this fact. That’s the real Mardol. I can tell instinctively.
“Th, then how did you get into my trauma?!”
“..By holding hands?”
“…”
I was speechless. Then our Saintess was the Glass Knight, and I’ve already done this and that with the Saintess….
“Ah, if you don’t believe me, I can also link the Masterpiece now. Should I show you?”
“How can you do that in my memories?!”
“Because it’s not just your memories anymore. Licht.”
I thought the eyes I saw in the helmet were pretty for some reason. She put her hand on her chest and recited to me with a serious attitude.
“I don’t know who you saw in your trauma. But Licht.”
The pure white wolf ears perked up a little. No, no matter how I look at it, it’s definitely our Saintess….
”Since you also told me your real name, it’s only polite for me to tell you mine too.”
The Masterpiece was instantly overlaid on Phine, and she became like a large white crystal.
“..Phine.”
The white-haired girl smiled brightly and opened her mouth with a small and cute voice. As if to make sure I remember these words for sure.
“My real name is, Phine Gransia.”
As such, the Nameless Saintess, wearing the glass armor and glass helmet again, told me her name.