EP.47 13-3. Drunken Life, Dreamlike Love
I dreamed of my younger days.
My thoughtless school days.
I believed I was the unluckiest person alive.
A life marred by a fire accident, an unfortunate family situation, the absence of anyone to protect me, and scars and burn marks that wouldn’t fade.
“…Why am I scared of this too?”
A life that could be considered mundane or tragic, depending on perspective. Even my father, who had raised me alone, had passed away just yesterday. I couldn’t bear it anymore.
“My head hurts…”
Hope was nowhere to be found. The overwhelming despair broke my will and left me tormented.
On the rooftop of a building in the hazy memories of that day, I had planned to end it all.
“…”
But I was too scared to jump. Sitting down as I looked at the traffic below, I realized how pathetic I was, unable even to make such a final decision.
“…Rain again, huh.”
A drizzling rain began to fall. It tickled my cheeks, making it impossible to distinguish between rain and tears. Without an umbrella, I stood pitifully as my clothes grew drenched.
At that time in my life, I hated the rain more than anything.
“Let’s go home, Lee Soo-hyun… Huh?”
As I placed my hands on the ground to stand up, something unusual caught my eye. It was an elaborately decorated game poster.
“Knight Heart…?”
By a twist of fate—or perhaps a cruel coincidence—I saw an advertisement on the rooftop where I had gone to mark the end of my life.
An RPG game titled Knight Heart.
It depicted a man with striking blue hair and glowing white eyes, alongside a woman with long brown hair adorned with deer antlers, gazing at him wistfully. Beside them stood a blonde hero and a red-haired mage, seemingly paired.
“What defines a Demon Lord and a Hero? Knight Heart! We bring you the gift of love!”
What did a Demon Lord and a Hero have to do with love? Looking back, the tagline seemed suspicious, even ridiculous.
But that was the moment I encountered a fate that would completely transform my life.
“…Love? Ha, what a joke.”
At the time, it felt absurd. I had just been about to throw away my life. The idea of love was far from anything I could imagine being given to me.
People would recoil at the sight of my face, marked with severe burn scars.
“Such things are all lies anyway.”
Or they’d feign cheap pity. I scoffed at those emotions, dismissing them as worthless. That’s why I started playing the game—because the tagline was so ridiculous it infuriated me.
Back then, I had no idea who the Nameless Saintess was. Thinking about it now, it’s embarrassing.
After my failed suicide attempt, I bought the game CD on my way home. I returned to my empty room, which housed nothing but an outdated computer.
Back when floppy disks were still in use.
Whirrr—
The sound of the CD spinning filled the room.
“A white-haired girl with wolf ears? That’s interesting.”
That’s how I started playing the first installment of the Knight Heart Trilogy.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lee Soo-hyun.”
The introduction came from a pure-white figure who called herself the Nameless Saintess. Her initial impression reminded me of a blank musical score—completely unremarkable.
“I’m sorry, Knight. I’ve collapsed again.”
“…What’s wrong with her stats?”
She was designed so weak that she couldn’t even defeat a passing level-1 slime. Later, I found out from community discussions that most players abandoned her early on.
“No matter how weak I may be, I will always strive to be of help to you, Knight.”
“…”
I felt sorry for her. She was utterly useless in the game, yet she still tried her best to help. Watching her was uncomfortable.
She was just like me. It would’ve been easier to give up.
“What? You want me to stay out of your way and fall back? No, I refuse.”
Despite everything, she wouldn’t leave my party. Even though the loading screens stated that characters would leave automatically if their reputation or affection scores dropped too low. What was her deal?
“…She’ll probably give up on her own eventually.”
Even a game character must have its limits. No one could persist like that forever. I kept her around out of curiosity to see how long she’d last.
“Hehe, you completed another quest successfully today, Knight.”
It became routine to protect the Saintess during missions.
“Why do you speak as if you did something?”
I began to understand why people mocked her as ‘useless.’
“…Though her personality isn’t bad.”
However, as I progressed through the game, surprising aspects of her character began to emerge. She seemed emotionless and aloof at first glance.
“Quickly, over here! Everyone, run this way!”
But she was always the first to rush to someone in danger.
“Hehe, today, I’ll be the seeker. Alright, this Saintess will find you all~!”
“It’s the wolf-eared Saintess! Run away~!”
Whenever we visited a village, she would invariably stop by the orphanage to care for and play with the children.
“Awooo… I am the scary wolf~! Oh, Knight, will you join us?”
Her laughing face during those moments made her seem like a completely different person.
“It’s not too hard… It’s my duty, after all.”
“…”
In villages oppressed by the Demon Lord, she’d work tirelessly for days, healing the wounded without accepting payment, even if it left her collapsing from exhaustion.
Like spring melting the snow…
“Good morning, Knight. Thank you for visiting me again today.”
Her previously stiff speech softened over time. The emotional distance between us shrank.
“Don’t try to carry everything alone, Knight. I’m here with you!”
By then, I had come too far to turn back.
“You’re quite shy, aren’t you, Knight? Hehe…”
What stood out most was her warmth and kindness, a force that was impossible to resist.
While advancing the story together, she suddenly said something that caught me off guard.
“Would you like me to heal your burn scars?”
I stared wide-eyed at her unexpected words.
[Yes/No]
Oh, she’s not talking about my real face. I sighed in relief and selected No from the dialogue choices.
“This game is incredibly detailed.”
Maybe I had customized the character, Licht, to look too much like myself, even giving him burn scars.
“Ah, I shouldn’t have said that so casually. I’m sorry.”
Her hand reached for my cheek, but I stopped her with the mouse.
“…Cheer up, Knight. It’s not your fault; they’re the strange ones. Should I scold them for you?”
“You can’t even fight monsters properly, so how would you?”
I sighed in reality. The Nameless Saintess was weak, so I had to make my character stronger and stronger.
Still, I started to appreciate the effort she put into protecting me in her own way.
“…Wouldn’t it have been nice if someone like her existed in real life?”
It was too late for such thoughts. My heart had already shattered into shards, too broken to piece back together—or so I foolishly believed back then.
No matter how much I ran or denied it, she was the only one who approached me.
“Today is February 22nd! Happy birthday, Knight! Tada~ Here’s your favorite chocolate cake!”
“So it’s my birthday. I’d forgotten, with no one around to celebrate.”
An item appeared in my inventory—a neatly wrapped cake, described as a product from the Gransia Empire Bakery.
“…Why am I crying? It’s supposed to be a happy day.”
And so, memories began piling up, one by one. Gradually, her warmth seeped into my charred heart.
“Let’s go buy some dolls to donate to the orphanage today, alright? No, I’m not buying them for myself…!”
“Haha, you already have one hidden behind your back.”
She had secretly purchased a Fox Slime plushie. Looking at her embarrassed face, I couldn’t help but laugh for the first time in ages.
“How long has it been since I last laughed like this?”
A Saintess who couldn’t heal properly, yet loved cute things excessively.
“Could you give me that candy I asked you to hold onto, Knight?”
“…I don’t remember anything like that. What’s going on?”
Her sulky, playful antics over sweets made her seem almost human. Gradually, I found myself drawn to her.
“If no one in the world believes in you, I’ll be the first to believe.”
“You speak as if you understand people’s hearts. This game is really well-made.”
White merchandise began filling my empty room, piece by piece. Slowly, the void in my life found meaning.
“Please, don’t tell anyone I read romance novels, Knight!! Eeeeek!! It’s so embarrassing…”
“Hahaha, now this is gaming.”
Whenever something sad happened, I’d crack open a cola, dig into some chicken, and immerse myself in a game.
Life remained tough as I grew older, but…
“Oh! The Fox Slime plushie you bought me last time is doing great!”
Looking at her gentle smile, I couldn’t help but feel a surge of energy.
“Thank you, Knight!”
“No, Saintess, I’m the one who should thank you.”