(Chapter 2) This Po*nographic Stuff isn’t Over?
“This isn’t right, this is clearly not right.”
Dumbfounded, she watched the simulation end, dumbfounded, she stared at the “Start Simulation” button go into cooldown, and dumbfounded, she went home with a blank look on her face.
Sitting on a couch with a few holes in it, feeling its softness, Anna could only think about how her brain was still buzzing.
No, wait. Me? A noble by birth, a graduate of the Knight Academy, a knight who upholds the spirit of chivalry and justice—how did the simulation make me into the queen of... the adult entertainment industry?
I’d rather die! I’d jump off the city wall this instant! There’s no way I’d ever become the queen of the adult entertainment industry!
Absolutely no way this is going to end up being true!
After all, this thing just popped up in front of me out of nowhere—probably some silly simulator in my own head. It’s just for laughs, that’s all.
Trying to convince herself with this self-deception, Anna exhaled a sigh of relief and allowed herself to relax a bit.
Still... was taking a day off really worth losing my job over?
Thinking back to the simulation, where she was dismissed for skipping work for just one day, and recalling the image of her leader—a short, chubby man with a greasy, bald head, perpetually wearing a sleazy grin and reeking of sweat—Anna felt a wave of disgust welling up from her stomach to her throat.
Unfortunately, her empty stomach meant there was nothing to actually throw up.
... Looks like skipping work will have to wait for now.
But still… It's been such a long time since I’ve had a proper day off.
Every day, it’s patrol, patrol, and more patrol. Especially now that it’s summer—I have to wear that heavy suit of armor under the blazing sun every day. Honestly, if I weren’t officially registered as an F-rank knight, it’d be superhuman for anyone to not collapse from heat stroke under these conditions!
Even I sweat buckets every day after patrol. Every single day, I have to carefully maintain my armor. If I miss even a single day of maintenance, this plate armor will instantly turn into rusted junk...
And this armor needs to be maintained with a mixture of beeswax and oil, which isn’t exactly cheap either.
The end result? My monthly salary of 1 gold coin is really not enough!
The more Anna thought about it, the angrier she got. She jumped up from the couch, causing it to creak loudly.
Maybe I really should find a legitimate excuse... or maybe, just maybe, something unfortunate could happen to that annoying leader of mine.
But where am I supposed to find that excuse or engineer an unfortunate accident for him?
After racking her brain for a long time with no results, Anna plopped back down on the couch, giving up for now.
“Ugh... I’m starving.”
Lying on the couch for a while longer, Anna muttered to herself before struggling to get up again.
Opening the cupboard, she was greeted by the now-familiar sight of its pristine, empty interior. Not even dust could be found there.
“Out of bread again, huh? Good thing I just got paid, so I won’t have to resort to sawdust bread this time…”
The mere thought of the hard, weirdly textured sawdust bread made Anna both speechless and resigned.
Well then, guess I’ll treat myself to some black bread tonight!
---
Having barely eaten her fill, Anna returned to her shabby little home and finally had time to sit down and examine the life simulator again.
Even though Anna found the whole “Queen of the Adult Entertainment Industry” title absurd, it was still an achievement nonetheless.
She distinctly remembered the tutorial saying that unlocking an achievement would open up a corresponding achievement system, complete with achievement points that could be exchanged for various items.
If she could trade for something like a big portion of preserved boar meat, she wouldn’t have to worry about food for days and could actually save some money!
With a thought, she activated the simulator. However, after searching the main interface for a long time, no matter how much she mentally willed it or even spoke aloud, “Open achievement system,” there was no response.
After a long and frustrating search, she finally noticed a small button tucked away in the top-left corner of the screen. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be the entrance to the achievement system.
Mentally clicking “Open achievement system” again, the interface quickly switched to the achievement screen...
The way to access this achievement system is way too ridiculous! Are they trying to mess with me?!
Anna wanted nothing more than to yank the life simulator out of her head and give it a good beating, but unfortunately, that wasn’t an option.
The achievement screen was overwhelming, to say the least. Dozens upon dozens of badges cluttered the screen, making Anna feel a twinge of trypophobia—a rare sensation for her. Amidst the sea of grayed-out badges, only one bronze badge stood out prominently.
[Queen of the Adult Entertainment Industry (Bronze): You successfully became the queen of the adult entertainment industry in a particular region. Your fame is unmatched within that area.]
[Reward: 1 Achievement Point]
[Condition to unlock Silver Badge: Become the nationally renowned queen of the adult entertainment industry.]
... Wait, there are tiers for this title?!
Anna could feel her blood pressure spike just from reading the silver badge’s unlock condition.
Me? A knight?! How could I ever become some queen of the adult entertainment industry?!
No way. This is going to remain a dark chapter in the achievement system forever—buried and forgotten!
While she scoffed at the achievement itself, the achievement point was still something she wasn’t about to pass up.
But this single point… feels kinda pathetic, doesn’t it?
Thankfully, the achievement shop wasn’t as infuriatingly hidden as the achievement system itself. It was prominently displayed at the top of the screen and easy to access.
After claiming her achievement point, Anna eagerly entered the achievement shop for a look around.
“What the—?!”
The moment the interface switched, Anna’s eyes were instantly dazzled by the items on display.
“Is that… the legendary Holy Sword?!”
“Wow! That’s the Knight Academy’s prized artifact—the Radiant Knight Armor!”
“Even the King’s Crown is here! I remember it’s inlaid with the world’s largest gemstone. What was it called again…”
“Even dragon-language magic?! Can I just learn it if I redeem it?!”
But as dazzling as these items were, the price tags attached to them were equally outrageous…
[Holy Sword of the Hero: 80,000 Achievement Points]
[Advanced Magic – Instant Teleportation: 10,000 Achievement Points]
These things aren’t even remotely in the realm of what I can afford with just one measly point!
Thankfully, the shop had a filter for low-cost items. After fumbling around a bit, Anna managed to switch to the low-price section:
[1,000 Loaves of Black Bread: 1 Achievement Point]
[Cloth Sofa: 1 Achievement Point]
... After seeing all those dazzling high-end items, the low-cost section was kind of a letdown.
But still, 1,000 loaves of black bread… If I redeem that, I won’t have to worry about food for a long time! I could actually save up some gold coins!
Excitedly clicking into the item details, Anna’s hopeful expression quickly crumbled:
[1,000 Loaves of Black Bread: Mixed with a certain amount of wood shavings. Note: This product may spoil over time.]
... I thought the food from this magical achievement shop wouldn’t expire? I can only eat two loaves of black bread a day—1,000 loaves would last 500 days… Of course it’s going to spoil eventually!
After browsing through the low-price section, Anna still couldn’t find anything she really wanted. The items were either low-quality food that would spoil before she could finish them or furniture she didn’t need.
She had originally hoped to at least exchange achievement points for some gold coins, but there didn’t seem to be any option for that either.
So this single achievement point is basically useless!
Disappointed, Anna exited the achievement system and glanced at the cooldown timer—still four hours left...
Might as well take a bath and call it a day!
As she lazed around on the bed, daydreaming, Anna wasn’t even sure how she managed to pass those four hours. But the moment the cooldown ended, she immediately jumped back into the simulation.
After all, she had nothing better to do.
[Simulation Start]
This time, no skipping work. Be diligent and do your job properly.
[Day 0: You had a good night’s sleep. Nothing happened.]
[Day 1: You patrolled the entire town. Nothing happened.]
...
[Day 4: It was supposed to be your day off, but your superior forced you to work overtime. You patrolled the entire town again. Nothing happened.]
... This feels no different from real life.
Still, this time, she didn’t skip work like in the last simulation. She diligently played the role of a hardworking, underpaid knight, patrolling day in and day out.
[Day 12: You patrolled the entire town. Nothing happened.]
[Day 13: Your superior assigned you to patrol the nearby forest. Without complaint, you headed out.]
Huh? Something new?
Previously half-asleep, Anna suddenly perked up, her attention fully focused on the simulation.
[While patrolling, you noticed that the forest was unusually quiet. The normally active magical beasts were nowhere to be seen.]
[As a knight, this unusual silence only heightened your vigilance. You stayed alert to every movement around you.]
[Suddenly, you heard the sounds of a fight up ahead.]
Finally, something exciting!
Just as Anna’s spirits were lifted, eager to see what would happen next—
[Distracted by the sounds of battle, you failed to notice what was beneath your feet.]
[You were captured by a Threadworm!]
What the—what now?!
Threadworms, those low-intelligence monsters that needed to capture females for asexual reproduction by sticking close to them, shouldn’t have been able to capture me, right? Simulator, are you kidding me?!
[Although you’re just an F-rank knight, a regular Threadworm shouldn’t pose a challenge for you...]
[However, this particular Threadworm had been enhanced.]
[Thinking you could easily break free, you struggled—but the more you struggled, the deeper you sank.]
[You were devoured by the Threadworm Queen!]
[Your Low-Grade Armor was dissolved!]
[Your Rusty Sword was dissolved!]
[Your Cloth Undershirt was dissolved!]
[You were restrained!]
[The Threadworm Queen used its skill: Marking Imprint.]
[You obtained the passive skill: Womb Tatoo Lv. 1.]
Reading this series of developments, Anna was completely dumbfounded.
But wait—why is this description starting to sound... questionable?
Nope! Stop it right now, simulator! You’re making me feel weird!