Chapter 033
It rained late at night.
"Whew~?"
Adolf groaned as he watched the pouring rain. He wasn't sure when it started, but these days whenever it rained or the weather was gloomy, his whole body ached.
Jingle.
The bell hanging at the store's entrance rang. Adolf, who had been sitting at the register, hastily cleared his throat and straightened his posture. His face, whitened by powder, cracked with fine lines. It was the town drunk, who would drop by from time to time to stir up trouble.
"Hic! I'm here, you damn homo bastard!"
"Huh? Ugh, it's you. If you're here to complain again, get out!"
"Hic! Stingy as always. Not that I was looking for a place to throw up. But just seeing your ugly mug makes me want to puke. Guess I'll throw up here. Hic!"
"You—you crazy fool?!"
Adolf quickly rushed over and hauled the drunk up.
"Man! If you drink, just get drunk quietly! Why do you keep coming to other people's shops and causing havoc, havoc every single time!"
"*Hehehe*. What shop? With the weird old man pretending to be a lady and that mute woman, what kind of business can you possibly run here?"
"You—you actually call that a mouth?!"
Adolf grabbed the drunkard's collar and raised his fist.
The drunk snorted as if he found it laughable. He knew Adolf would never hit him. He was even awkward at getting angry.
Jingle.
The door opened. Both of them looked in that direction at once.
A man stood there, drenched from the rain.
"Huh? Pretty boy's here?"
Adolf, letting go of the drunk's collar, spoke in a trembling voice.
Ran's demeanor was different than usual.
"Is... Susan here?"
"Uh, uh. Of course, yes."
Ran was a regular customer at this shop, in fact, the only real customer. He should have gotten over his shyness by now, but every time he entered, he blushed like an awkward adolescent.
The bashful young man's eyes were bloodshot. Adolf couldn't tell if the wetness at his eyes was rainwater or tears. Ran's gaze, as cold as the rainwater, shifted to the drunk.
"Hic!"
As soon as their eyes met, the drunk hiccuped loudly.
The back alleys of Gerinhild were like the sewers of the Empire's capital. Outcasts in society developed a rat-like instinct for danger.
The drunken haze instantly vanished. The drunk scrambled away and made a run for it.
The moment he saw Ran, he genuinely thought he could die for real.
Shhhhh.
The rain kept falling.
Every day Ran came to see Susan, it rained.
Ran lay down with his head on Susan's lap. Even with his eyes closed, sleep wouldn't come. He covered his eyes with his arm, but it only made him sink deeper. Ran half-opened his eyes.
There was a small insect on the wall.
The bug, crawling along, got itself tangled in a spider's web in a corner near the ceiling. It struggled for a moment, but soon stopped moving, as if resigning itself to fate.
"Why did it hasten its end..."
Ran muttered.
He could have been talking about the insect that had crawled into the fire of its own accord, or to a superior who had crossed a line after learning too much.
Or perhaps, it was a complaint to a lost friend.
* * *
Drip, drip, drip.
"Let's let go of your regrets now, boss."
String music filled the room. Felix's voice blended in, matching the subdued melody.
"Regret, huh. Not quite."
Bern simply wet his lips with a sip of liquor.
He meant it. He'd pushed Zima the dog seller right to the edge of the cliff. It was the sort of thing a man could be proud of. He slowly swirled the cup in his hand.
"He should have learned something from this. That he shouldn't take Bern lightly."
Here and there, glass bead-like lights illuminated the dim room elegantly. The liquor in the glass was as pale as those lights.
Felix nodded in agreement.
"Zima's gotten old. Not nearly as sharp as he used to be."
"What do you mean?"
"If it were me, I'd have hidden the goods and then brought them out at the exact time His Majesty returned. See? He looked down on you and Gordon, and played things safe for himself, but ended up getting burned badly."
"You're not wrong, but..."
Bern trailed off. It was something that had been bothering him. Maybe, as Felix said, Zima let down his guard... or maybe he had something else up his sleeve.
Bern thought the latter was more likely. That's why some part of him was still uneasy.
"When is His Majesty expected to return?"
"Who knows, maybe it'll take even longer. They say the situation at the Eastern Front is turning into a disaster."
"Well, that's good for us, isn't it. Means we'll have more than enough time to hunt the dog seller."
Two women in thin silk dresses approached.
"Did we interrupt your conversation?"
"No, please, sit down."
They sat as if pre-arranged—one next to Bern, one next to Felix. As soon as they sat, they tidied the glasses and side dishes on the table.
Felix swallowed. The woman's dress was almost see-through.
"Gerinhild is on a different level as a capital city, for sure."
"You've worked hard, Felix."
The two clinked their filled glasses together. Casual conversation followed. No matter how trivial, the women matched their mood perfectly.
Bern and Felix's faces were growing flushed. The women, the alcohol, and the music gradually wore down the callused masks these two men wore.
The woman next to Felix leaned her chin on her hand and said,
"Lord Felix, have you ever thought of starting a family?"
"A family for a man like me would be nothing but a shackle. My children are probably growing up anywhere and everywhere in the country anyway—I've sowed seeds all over. *Heh heh*."
"Listen to you! In that case, will you do your best tonight too?"
The woman smiled mischievously. As laughter trickled out between them, Felix's face alone stiffened.
His eyes suddenly grew fierce.
"What the hell... a demon whore, you dare—just because I allow you to sit with me, do you think an inquisitor is a joke?"
The woman's face turned deathly pale. Felix raised his hand as if to strike her.
"Felix!"
Thunk!
Bern drew a dagger from his thigh and drove it into the table.
The music, which had enlivened the room, stopped abruptly. The two men, their faces flushed, glared at each other in tense silence.
The situation resolved quickly.
"Sorry, I've had too much to drink."
Staggering to his feet, Felix bowed deeply.
This wasn't a superior–subordinate matter, but one man to another—a vague tension lingered between them.
Felix had always relied on his own abilities, living as a lone wolf. His connection to Bern was one of mutual benefit only; he never considered Bern his superior.
That was exactly what Bern disliked. Now that they were in the same boat, Felix had to be tamed. Every ship only has one captain.
"It's fine, go on your way."
There was no need to point blades for an instinctive contest for hierarchy.
Pretending to relent with a forced expression, Bern let it go. Felix was the first to leave, the woman who had been attending him hurriedly following behind.
The blonde woman next to Bern watched them go with her eyes. She whispered apologetically,
"I'm sorry. She's new here—must have made a mistake."
"Forget about it. I didn't know he'd get that worked up from drinking either."
Bern pulled the woman close by the waist, a relaxed smile spreading on his lips.
"The mood was just getting good and now my appetite's spoiled. Why don't you tidy up and come out with me?"
She smiled shyly.
* * *
There were times when it all felt dark, as if the world looked black even with his eyes open. His mouth was always dry, and he felt suffocated, like he couldn't breathe. Sighing had become a habit.
"The night air is getting chilly, Bern."
Charlotte closed her collar and clasped her hands together. Bern looked at her fondly. Just being able to look at her like this made him happy. The constant headache that had plagued him all day would vanish the moment he saw Charlotte.
He embraced her tightly.
"Oh, come on."
She always pushed him away, so he couldn't indulge in a deep embrace, but Bern just kept smiling, happy all the same.
"Madam will be worried. You should go in."
That remark sparked a strange rebelliousness in him.
Suddenly, Bern grasped Charlotte's hand tightly.
"Come with me."
Nothing in his life had ever gone smoothly. No matter how gifted he was, he couldn't overcome the limitations of his status.
That was why he'd been married off like a pawn. Her family wasn't an ancient noble house, but for Bern, it was the best option.
Not that it brought any dramatic change. At best, it gave him a lifeline. Though, it wasn't as sturdy as he'd hoped.
'Now I finally have the strength to carve my own destiny.'
He knew the Emperor's plans. He knew exactly what the Emperor wanted and what he considered an eyesore.
'Lord, so in the end, you favor me after all.'
The deeper he delved into theology, the more he mastered doctrine, the more the faith seemed hypocritical. In truth, he felt resentment more often than not. If God was love, why did he alone receive such harsh trials? As a priest, harboring such blasphemy made him feel deeply guilty, as if he were a wreck.
Not anymore.
He finally realized—all his hardships had been the Lord Asriel's way of forging him strong.
"Let's walk through the city together tonight."
Charlotte's eyes went wide. She couldn't believe her ears. The streets of the capital are crowded even at night.
"Are you serious?"
Bern nodded, wrapping an arm around her slender shoulders.
Charlotte's steps trembled. She had never walked confidently down the street. Just for being a demon, she always had to live hiding in the shadows.
"It won't be long. Just a little more patience."
"Bern..."
She knew what kind of man he was—the leader of those who brutally oppressed her kind.
'But I don't care about that.'
Ever since her parents abandoned her, she had stopped caring about blood ties or roots. Just surviving by the skin of her teeth was all she could manage.
By the time she realized her own kind muttered about her behind her back, she was already someone even the Special Unit didn't dare to cross.
"Wow, it's beautiful."
The night lights reflected in Charlotte's eyes. The chilly night air somehow felt refreshing.
Human desires have no end.
She used to live only hoping for a slightly better tomorrow; then, when she could afford a little comfort, she wanted at least a minimally human existence, then an ordinary life—and after that?
'A life as a loved woman.'
The man walking beside her wore the uniform of the Special Unit. She felt like everyone in the street was staring at her. She still wasn't used to the attention.
"Let's take a break."
The Gerinhild river flowed through the city, following narrow waterways. They walked along the stone path by the riverside.
"I've never been happier than today."
"Days like this will be all you have from now on."
The alcohol beat pleasantly in their chests. The stars shone especially bright that night. It wasn't until they reached the dark tunnel under a bridge, away from the streetlights and starlight, that they were surrounded by darkness.
Bern noticed Charlotte's steps getting lighter. He guessed she was relaxing now that they were away from prying eyes. He let go of her hand so she could walk freely. She walked ahead, almost skipping.
"I've never felt this way before, so I'm not sure how to put it... like I'm longing for something life never allowed me. Do you know what I mean, Bern?"
"I do. It really is a perfect night."
As soon as he said that, a crushing grip seized his neck. It happened so quickly he didn't even have time to be surprised.
"... Ugh?"
The sound that squeezed out of his throat was quieter than the wind. He struggled with all his might, but it was useless. Something slid from his thigh, and then a cold, burning pain stabbed under his ribs. After that, his strength left him, and he could hardly stand.
It all happened in an instant.
"You might have lived if not for your greed."
The voice at his ear was chilling. Bern forced himself to look up.
'Ran?!'
Beyond his silhouette, a gentle voice came.
"I know. More than anyone, you are a kind and warm person."
A cold blade sliced across his throat.
"Did the Lord know we would end up this way?"
Charlotte's voice drifted in Bern's mind, then abruptly cut off.
Bern drew his last breath.
"I love you, Bern."
Her shy confession echoed through the dark tunnel.
Ran vanished without a sound to the other side.
* * *
Back at home, Ran washed his face with cold water.
Assassinating Bern hadn't been in his immediate plans. Something inexplicable had agitated his emotions.
"... Peco."
Murder.
For the holy grace of Lord Asriel. For the Church, for the Empire, for all the people of this land.
Sacrifice.
For the holy grace of Lord Asriel. For the Church, for the Empire, for all the people of this land.
Murder and sacrifice. An endless cycle.
And now, all that was left was guilt.
Night deepened.
He debated for a long time whether to go see Susan, but in the end he decided against it.
Ran sat with his back against a tree in the backyard, staring vacantly up at the sky.
'...'
The messenger bird from Quersa had not returned for a long time.
Tap, tap.
Ran plucked the leaves from a twig, one by one. His eyes stayed fixed on the sky.
Then he slid his eyes sideways.
He sensed someone's presence.
-------------= Clacky's Corner -------------=
I still can't get over Peco dying. It seems noone is permanent in this novel.
【ദ്ദി(⩌ᴗ⩌)】